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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Moved away from Cornwall and so depressed

106 replies

YouLookLikeVivieneLeigh · 16/02/2022 16:08

I had wanted always to live in Cornwall, after spending so much time there. Finally I had the opportunity to, after many years.
I lived in what I considered to be among the most beautiful and scenic part of Cornwall.
Every day I kept thinking 'This is too good to be true'. I also worried that something would go wrong and it would all end. The old saying about 'if something is too good to be true, it usually is'
I had previous to living in Cornwall, a very deeply troubled and unhappy past, in a grim part of this country.
Moving to Cornwall was a new start, a new me, and it was blissful. I felt like I could be happy and that my life did not have to be so dreadful constantly. Every day, in all types of weather, it was so beautiful. Never in my life had I been so contented. It was a first.
Fast forward, and my tenancy came to an end due to the Landlord wanting to sell up. He was very good with me and gave me plenty of time.
I could not find anywhere to rent that was affordable, and what was affordable were places that were even worse than what I had left behind!

My wages would barely touch some of the huge rents and that was before bills.
The local Council could not help as I was from another area, and I understood that. There are enough people born and living in Cornwall who cannot get accommodation.
There was nothing else to do but return back to where I had left, back to the miserable area, and move in with an ex.
I have no one, no friends or family, but that does not bother me and never has. I am better without others in my life, due to the past.
Every morning, I wake up crying. I barely sleep and eat. I am on anti depressants but have been on those for a long time.
I shake constantly. I am on a downwards spiral, and as someone who has a lifetime of mental health illness since being a child, I know when I am getting worse.
It is dreadful having to leave Cornwall when on holiday, but imagine living there for a long time and then having to return to a dismal built up area with constant noise and traffic fumes, where the only view is cars and run down terraced houses. Where the only scent is one of car fumes and chips? Where the neighbours scream and shout?
I lived looking out over the sea, surrounded by countryside, and animals. The air smelt of sea breeze and fresh green grass, and nature.
The only noise was that of the sea and animals.
Today I felt like I have no chance of ever returning, and if this is all there is for me now, at 58 years old, then I am not continuing much longer.
All I want, and please be kind, are some helpful suggestions, because I cannot think of anything anymore of how I can return to this place where I was so happy.
Has anyone else been through anything similar?
Am I being unreasonable in how I am feeling?
Thank you for reading my depressing post.

OP posts:
GeneLovesJezebel · 16/02/2022 16:10

If you are spiralling, when did you last have a medication review and chat with your GP ?

TheCountessOfGrantham · 16/02/2022 16:10

Hmm. Tricky. I would just keep on looking all the time

buzzandwoodyallday · 16/02/2022 16:11

Is there anywhere cheaper that you could move to that isn't Cornwall but has similar countryside, beaches etc? Could you get a house share?

orinocosfavoritecake · 16/02/2022 16:12

Wise words above.

Also - Cornwall isn’t the only seaside. Might somewhere else by the sea work?

www.coastmagazine.co.uk/content/most-affordable-seaside-locations-move-to-UK

AuntieStella · 16/02/2022 16:13

Does it have to be Cornwall?

Parts of that county are very expensive, and it's all fuelled by how much people are prepared to spend whilst on holiday.

Could you find the calm and silence in places that are less fashionable, but have the beauty and calm you seek?

YouLookLikeVivieneLeigh · 16/02/2022 16:14

Medication reviews and chats with the GP, don't do much. I am used to the mental health system.
I do all that I can to help myself mentally.
I know I am more depressed because of my situation.
Thank you for replying :)

OP posts:
gonnabeok · 16/02/2022 16:15

Does it have to be Cornwall? Aren't there some seaside towns on the northern coastline or Wales you could afford to live in? The only other way to live in Cornwall would be to get a job which includes accommodation.Could this be something you could explore? Also some people advertise for houses sitters for shirt/long term periods to look after pets. There are a lot of websites you can join for this.

changeyourname11111 · 16/02/2022 16:15

I am really sorry @YouLookLikeVivieneLeigh - that sounds really tough. I hope you manage to find another affordable rental. Might your previous landlord in Cornwall have any suggestions?

EatSleepRantRepeat · 16/02/2022 16:15

There are plenty of beautiful areas of the country that are not in Cornwall - the coast of East Anglia, Northumberland, the Yorkshire coast etc that aren't as unaffordable. If you have no ties to a particular area and no trailing spouse/kids, have you thought about moving somewhere like that? What do you plan to do for work - often workplaces are good opportunities to meet more local people in a new area.

HotelCaliforniaOnRepeat · 16/02/2022 16:16

Apply for a residential job in Cornwall? There are lots of live in opportunities if you are willing. The holiday parks and some hotels offer accommodation.
Unfortunately people have changed a lot of rentals to holidays lets because of the boom covid created while travel was limited. The bottom will fall out of that hopefully as it has a heavy cost to communities and rentals will become available again.

Ragruggers · 16/02/2022 16:17

Are you able to work?There are jobs in Cornwall which offer accommodation would this be any use.The season is long in Cornwall and many places are open all the year.Rentals in Cornwall are sky high now especially in the beautiful areas.Good luck.

ikeepseeingit · 16/02/2022 16:18

Hey OP, do you need to stay near there for work or are you able to move about? I’m thinking another seaside/country town will suit you just as well. However if you are spiralling I think you need to look at both your medication with your GP and think about what you can change in the meantime in day to day life. Things like going for a trip to the countryside or long walks in the woods every weekend. Make sure you’re taking yourself to a park every day or somewhere with greenery. I think I’m similar to you, I need green and a breeze around me to feel happy. I make do with growing herbs on my windowsill, lighting candles every evening, sitting out in the sun at every opportunity and beach walks at the weekend. I also walk my dog in the park every day.

Try to bring joy in every day life. What helps you? Plants? Nice art? A good book? Do at least one thing to make yourself more peaceful every day and try to soak it in. I’m so sorry you’re having a hard time, the winter might have made it all harder for you as well so make sure you’re taking vitamin D and getting out at least once a day.

Anoooshka · 16/02/2022 16:18

What's your budget? Are you retired or are you working from home? Maybe we can suggest something for you. Have you looked at Wales? Lovely coastline and cheaper than Cornwall.

HereComesYourMam · 16/02/2022 16:18

Yes I was going to suggest looking for live-in jobs too. Good luck OP Flowers

littlejo67 · 16/02/2022 16:18

Have a look at rural Scotland. I live in Cornwall and love the Highlands. Cheap rent, beautiful.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 16/02/2022 16:19

Do you work and need to be somewhere commutable? What's your rental budget? Maybe we could help with some peaceful/coastal locations based on your needs.

In the meantime I second the poster above who suggested a review of meds/GP visit.

YouLookLikeVivieneLeigh · 16/02/2022 16:19

Thank you all.
I have thought about other parts, but Cornwall for me growing up was like another home in many ways.

I am not someone who is wealthy or fashionable. I avoid all the holiday places. I purchase local produce and spend all my money in the area.
I helped out on nature projects working voluntarily too.
For some reason, Cornwall is where I feel very contented and I am so drawn to it.

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 16/02/2022 16:19

Why can't you go continue to live there ?

Is it that the local housing allowance isn't enough? I've found a few one bed flats for £600-£800 a month but I'm not sure that's enough

I do think it's environmental. I had to live somewhere I hated for 19 years - I kept telling myself it was me, it wasn't. Almost the moment I moved I felt completely released.

I would never go back there to live.

AmberLynn1536 · 16/02/2022 16:20

Could you get a live in seasonal job? At least you could live there for part of the year?

FragileLikeABomb · 16/02/2022 16:20

Could you buy a camper? Someone I was taking to bought a camper and lived in that in Cornwall.
You’d be free to move around as you pleased and have the added accommodation.

FragileLikeABomb · 16/02/2022 16:21

Talking**

SkiRun0077 · 16/02/2022 16:21

Look for a live in job. The youth hostel association hire this time of year for live in assistants April to October and once you are ‘in’ other roles pop up. Or hotels.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 16/02/2022 16:24

If you don't need to work, or can work remote, could you look at WWOOFing?

It's accomodation on an organic farm (or similar) and you do a small amount of volunteering in return for Board. Even just for a few months may help your wellbeing

AmberLynn1536 · 16/02/2022 16:25

Could you afford this? It’s just become available, there are also a few house shares available on rightmove

Moved away from Cornwall and so depressed
lockdownalli · 16/02/2022 16:26

I think you should speak to a doctor to get support around your mental health OP.

Then when you are strong enough, you need to look into opportunities that are realistic with regards to moving to a coastal area where there are work prospects for you.

On the plus side, you live on an island, so there's loads of coastline, you just need to find a bit with the right opportunities for you.

I totally understand regarding living by the sea - I live a few minutes walk from the beach and would never move away. I hope you find what you are looking for Flowers