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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That football training and playing will completely take over the week!

90 replies

Four4One · 15/02/2022 21:06

I love my boys very much but FFS really? DH wants to play football for another 2 years until he hits 50. I get it, that's a huge achievement. DSS has just got into the first team, again huge achievement. Very proud of the both.
But my week now looks like this...
Monday - football until 9.
Tuesday - football until 8:30
Wednesday - maths tutor + free
Thursday - football until 8:30
Friday - football until 9 at the earliest depending on KO.
Saturday - free
Sunday - 4/5 hour window of time for football depending on KO.
This would be the pattern for 6/7 months for the season.
AIBU to ask for some give in this because it leaves little room for much else, let alone any other school commitments DSS will have.

OP posts:
MrsDThomas · 15/02/2022 21:10

I did it. DH and 3 kids. I used to travel with one DC 2 hours to the ground, 2 hours in the car waiting then 2 hours back. Plus other trips to catch the bus at silly o clock to training camps.

Now I have nothing. They’re older and i crave that time back. I thoroughly enjoyed it and seeing them loving it.

JustMsInvisible · 15/02/2022 21:11

You have one life but so do they. Do you want them remembering you as the one who said No to them doing the things they love. I get it’s annoying but it’s not forever.
What ever it is you want to do with them can it be done Saturdays /Sundays?
Can you do things whilst they’re at training?

jowly · 15/02/2022 21:12

This was us several years ago. It was very full on but in hindsight it was a time they loved and I wouldn't have changed it.

One went on to play sport professionally and wouldn't have had we not invested so much time supporting him then.

Invisimamma · 15/02/2022 21:15

It's so good for their health and fitness and also mental well-being, being part of a team. Honestly I'd keep it going as much as you can!

Is there something you'd like to do for yourself too?

DetailMouse · 15/02/2022 21:17

If this is DH and DSS' thing it doesn't need to be your life if you don't want it to be. Do something else some nights

nokidshere · 15/02/2022 21:21

Been there, done the time, got the t shirt.

April to September every year for 15 yrs! 4 matches in the week, one training session, matches on weekends. Both boys and dh involved but the boys were in different teams so it took all 4 of us to do it. And cricket is hours and hours! I used to wish they like football because at least it would only be 90 minutes.

They loved it, they made friends for life, they are still part of the team and play when they are home from uni. They are both in uni teams and both still do winter training also.

Sometimes I miss the times spent travelling with them, it was good to talk and we often ate out on the way back. They drive themselves now and mums only required to get the whites white.

I stopped going as they got older and enjoyed some time to myself while the 3 of them went off. Hard as it is I would always recommend it.

GreenClock · 15/02/2022 21:23

Can you and your husband go to one together and then share out the others?

Fairyfalls · 15/02/2022 21:24

We are the same but have matches on Saturday as well! Can relate.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 15/02/2022 21:26

Surely you can stay home and let them get on with it most nights? I'm not really sure why you have to go to every single training and match?

SeasonFinale · 15/02/2022 21:26

Try this with 3 sons.

5foot5 · 15/02/2022 21:30

Slightly unclear why this is all down to you. Why can't your DH do some of this while you do your own thing? How much does his football impact you?

Iamkmackered1979 · 15/02/2022 21:30

That’s quite full on. I’d leave your husband to be taking his son the majority of the time. Luckily of 4 sons I’ve only got one football mad one. Still a lot of work but he loves it so it’s worth it.

PagesOfSlime · 15/02/2022 21:31

Can you lift share? My DD goes twice a week with three other girls so each set of parents does one run. Makes the other three days more bearable!

Original poster
Four4One · 15/02/2022 21:32

I get up at 5am to train before work, get home at 6/7pm. It leaves most of the grunt work dinners/lunches to me to do in the evening because the boys are 'too tired' to do it when they get home for training. Plus it only leave Saturday/night to do something as a couple or family.

OP posts:
itwasntaparty · 15/02/2022 21:35

Yes, it will.

My kids are into horses it takes all my money and spare time.

I was a swimmer how my parents did that I don't know, totally relentless.

I guess you just facilitate your kids I'm glad at stables instead a touch line though

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 15/02/2022 21:37

@Four4One

I get up at 5am to train before work, get home at 6/7pm. It leaves most of the grunt work dinners/lunches to me to do in the evening because the boys are 'too tired' to do it when they get home for training. Plus it only leave Saturday/night to do something as a couple or family.
Can't you train in the evenings while they're out and leave them to sort their own lunches and meals?

I don't understand why you feel the need to do it all for them Confused

Hankunamatata · 15/02/2022 21:39

Is every night dss football? Seems lots. Even hard core youth teams here its 2 nights training and matches on saturday

DetailMouse · 15/02/2022 21:42

"The boys" are too tired to sort dinners or lunches? They've got you right where they want you. Don't do it if you don't want to

BearPunter · 15/02/2022 21:42

Haha I had three kids all playing/training throughout the week - made some of my best friends through it, as did they.

My older son is currently living his dream that he never would have experienced without being part of that footy team at the age of 5 and us giving up our entire lives for a very short space of time!

I'm not sure why it's affecting you that much though if you aren't interested in watching - your DH is playing/training, that's on him. Your DSS is playing/training, surely that's on your DH to arrange and you to fill in the gaps when he can't facilitate? Might have read it wrong...

MaggieMooh · 15/02/2022 21:45

If your DSS is playing football 5 days a week that seems like too much and doesn’t leave any time for homework or friends or anything else.

Why do you have to take him anyway? Your DH needs to take him, it’s his son not yours. And your DH will need to cut back on his own hobbies to look after his son, and to do his share of chores. It’s not acceptable to leave all the chores to you while he does a hobby.

Original poster
Four4One · 15/02/2022 21:46

DH trains once and plays once
M&F
DSS trains the balance of the week and plays Sunday
I can only train in the mornings.

OP posts:
DietrichandDiMaggio · 15/02/2022 21:47

Surely any team that has a 48 year old playing for them won't train more than once a week?

RealBecca · 15/02/2022 21:50

Why does it all fall to you?DH trains and plays twice so why isnt he doing half the ferrying or picking up the slack to batch cook or whatever on Saturdays to make the week easier?

FusionChefGeoff · 15/02/2022 21:54

Classic MN response warning:

You don't have a football problem you have a DH problem.

He and DSS need to step up with lunches etc when they get back and too bad if they're tired.

FawnFrenchieMum · 15/02/2022 21:55

So you don’t want to give up your morning training but want DH / DSS to give up there’s?

Try having a dancer as well as a footballer! I literally have no life! Said dancer is also performing in Panto next week, that’s been rehearsals three times a week on top of normal commitments and there everyday from Sunday to the following Saturday for show week next week (a 25 min drive from home!)