That football training and playing will completely take over the week!

[Four4One]

I love my boys very much but FFS really? DH wants to play football for another 2 years until he hits 50. I get it, that's a huge achievement. DSS has just got into the first team, again huge achievement. Very proud of the both.
But my week now looks like this...
Monday - football until 9.
Tuesday - football until 8:30
Wednesday - maths tutor + free
Thursday - football until 8:30
Friday - football until 9 at the earliest depending on KO.
Saturday - free
Sunday - 4/5 hour window of time for football depending on KO.
This would be the pattern for 6/7 months for the season.
AIBU to ask for some give in this because it leaves little room for much else, let alone any other school commitments DSS will have.

Ok well I can think of two solutions.

1. Your DH will have to grow up and give up his hobby in order to prioritise his marriage and his other adult responsibilities which he is currently dumping on you.

1. He will have to tell DSS’s mother that she needs to take her own child to football at least half of the time otherwise he will no longer be able to attend.

Honestly I don’t know any grown adults with kids who get two nights per week for their hobby. I get one night per fortnight.

Unless you’re an olympic athlete, you dont need to train that much. You’re being ridiculous

I just can’t get over ‘the boys’.

@MrsDThomas
Training 6 times a week won't get you anywhere near being an Olympic athlete.

@MaggieMooh
There are hundreds of thousands of adults (with kids) who play sports, most will require training once a week plus a match. In my small town alone, there are 10 adult hockey teams (150 adults) for example. Similar at the umpteen other sports.

[quote Comedycook]**@TracyMosby* @fairylightsandwaxmelts*

The op said...

It leaves most of the grunt work dinners/lunches to me to do in the evening because the boys are 'too tired' to do it when they get home for training

I was just giving her suggestions of things they can prepare quickly themselves[/quote]
But why does she need any suggestions?

She shouldn't be doing all the running around to facilitate their hobbies. if they want to play football until late at night, they can go shopping and get their own meals sorted out.

@Four4One

I guess the main point being that I'd like to spend more than one night in the week with DH.

Then why don't you go with him to drop DSS at training and go out for dinner or something while he's at practise?

MaggieMooh There are hundreds of thousands of adults (with kids) who play sports

I don’t believe it. They are either childless people, people with teenagers who don’t need looking after and putting to bed, or people like OP’s husband who aren’t doing their 50% at home and their partner is having to pick up the slack. Nobody with kids, spouse and a house to look after gets two nights every week to themselves.

Don’t fix supper each evening, that’s madness! You and DH can take turns to batch cook at the weekends and/or healthy ready meals are your friends!

You're totally wrong @MaggieMooh
I would know this because I'm an adult who plays in one of the aforementioned hockey teams so therefore I know my own team mates (and others if I'm friends) situations.

I agree with @arethereanyleftatall I am involved in an adult sports team and they all train at one night a week minimum plus matches 1 day at weekend. There are around 80 adult players at the club. There are weekday matches but not everyone plays, some that have young children play in 1 mid week game also. Many of the wives/kids come along to matches too, it's very sociable and a lovely environment for them.

We have always had time to do a sport or activity even when the DCs were small. We have ensured we always get our own time as well as family time. We also watch the DSs sports matches together as we enjoy that.

It's absolutely not true that people who have young children, spouse, a house don't have 2 nights a week to themselves.

Nobody with kids, spouse and a house to look after gets two nights every week to themselves

Of course they do

Having a partner and children doesn't mean you never get any time to yourself...

Also, I have my own hobbies. I train 6 mornings a week. I'm exhausted - I hate how back loaded my evenings have become. I want to be in bed by 9, not fixing supper.

Seriously this is you being a massive martyr - if you are tired just go to bed, sort your own dinner and leave them to it !

can't your husband learn how to batch cook and heat something up when he gets in from football

I honestly would just be using the evenings to do what I wanted and not be concerned about whether a grown man has had his dinner or not

Why can’t your DH get up with you at 5am and prepare something for dinner /get the lunches organised? Then everyone can eat together when “the boys” get home from training.

You are actually being a martyr because you are the only one getting honestly and staying up late.

Where is the compromise? Where is your DH doing his share so you have equal downtime?

Sorry OP but got to agree with others - you've got to stop doing all this for them, let DH do it himself.

Why can you only train in the morning? I'd definitely go in the evenings given everyone else is out anyway.

I do get that it's shit that you rarely get an evening with DH - could he just drop off SS at some sessions and his mum could collect him? Surely some of these evenings he must be going back to hers anyway, otherwise he must never see her!