Why do you benefit bash?

[greyblanket76]

My family and I are working class and always have been. My friends are too and so are the people that I tend to socialise with/meet in everyday life. I've only been on MN since last year but have seen so many comments bashing people who are on/depend on benefits and I'd really like to know why?

Is this because some people on here think everyone that's on benefits is lazy and doesn't want to work therefore claim benefits? Or is it something else?

I'll talk about my situation and will keep it as brief as possible as I already know people will come in the comments to try and shame me. I'm early 20s and a single mum (didn't start out that way but your whole life can literally change overnight and that's what happened to me). I have one DC and I'm expecting another so I've been on maternity leave back to back as I'll have 2 under 2.

I've worked full time since I was 17 right up until I went on my first maternity leave. Due to the rate of SMP, I'm entitled to benefits as SMP doesn't even cover my rent which is £1200. I'm entitled to £1670 of UC which covers my rent and all my bills. During the first 9 months of my maternity leave I was receiving around £1507 UC (due to deductions) + £638 SMP = £2145 a month.
Once I give birth to my second DC, my UC entitlement should go from £1670 to £1907. This isn't 100% accurate but due to receiving SMP, let's say the deductions would be due £1700 UC + £638 SMP = £2388 a month. That would be excluding child benefit for both children btw.

When I was working full time, I was earning £1383 a month. I do plan to go back to work after my maternity leave ends as I genuinely love my work and have my whole career in front of me. However can people see the huge jump in difference between the two amounts? Nearly a grand in total! When returning back to work, I would be entitled to some benefits however because I'd be working full time, it wouldn't be a lot. That's why it's advised that you drop hours to work part time in order to get the most help available.

I've read my post back and hope it isn't too confusing but I just wanted some people who benefit bash to understand that sometimes life on benefits seems better especially as you have kids because you get so much more help. My mum keeps telling me to consider not working for a year or two just because I need to consider the quality of life my DC and I will have. I wouldn't be able to pay for rent AND childcare so what would I do? There's a lot that comes into play when deciding if you should go back to work or just be on benefits and I hope some people got that from this post. Seeing as this is an anonymous forum, if you judge/bash people on benefits, I'd really be interested to hear why. Posting in AIBU because I'm prepared to be flamed and have learnt not to take nasty comments to heart

[quote Cheeseonpost]@Waxonwaxoff0

The op has 2 under 2 in her early 20’s, of course people can say she was an engineer in her own life and as such made choices that weren’t ideal.

Many wait until I’m committed relationships, married, with savings before having children for this very reason, the OP has made poor life choices that have led them to relying on benefits[/quote]
Except she doesn't rely on benefits. She's going back to work, she's stated that already.

@BiscuitLover3678

Clearly smarter than the OP

@MaryAndHerNet

A lot of it is people dont actually know what theyre talking about. they read The Sun or watch Channel 5 or some such and get their "Facts" from there.

For example:
"More cash for having more kids"
Nope - Capped at 2

"Get a free council house"
Nope - Council Housing is rare, its now social housing and its incredibly tough to get a home.

"Get a bigger house when you have more kids"
Nope - there's million crammed into places too small for them because there isn't any housing available.

"They get all my tax money"
Nope - The averag person earning an average wage that pays tax pays about 50p a month to Universal Credit claimaints.

"Theres loads of em that aint never worked in their life"
Nope - Long term unemployment figures make up a tiny percentage of the unemployment bill.

so on and so on.

Ive argued with them, ive pointed all this information out to them and ive supplied link to the evidence, to the sources, to the studies that prove them wrong at every step. people just hand wave it away and stay willingly ignorant.

@MaryAndHerNet this is definitely so true. This thread has shown me that a lot of people don't actually know what they're talking about when it comes to benefits. Especially not knowing about the cap of two children and the reality of how it is when it comes to getting a council flat/house

Yes, someone's circumstances can change unexpectedly and overnight. However, you don't just, out of the blue, end up a mother of 2 under 2 in your early 20's. That was a choice you made. As is the choice to take such a long maternity leave. You can't expect people to have much sympathy with your situation.

@Waxonwaxoff0

She is planning to

Since the OPs ability to plan has been a bit off so far I’m going to take that with a pinch of salt

@AchillesPoirot

Also since you said your figures don’t include child benefit you should claim that too.

www.gov.uk/child-benefit/what-youll-get

It’s £21.15 per week for your first child and will be £14 a week for the second.

@AchillesPoirot I claim CB too thank you. I didn't include it because I was tired of doing addition and wanted people to focus solely on UC as I'm sure most people claim CB

@Hospedia

at anyone who thinks a 20 year old guy is going to be good, solid father material. Choices.

The pre-frontal cortex, aka the part of rhe brain that deals with rational thought, isn't fully developed until roughly age 25.

This old chestnut being brought out again to justify poor life choices by the stupid

Some peoples brains aren’t fully developed until 40, the difference that last tiny bit makes in real life ability to make good decisions is minuscule

@flowerycurtain

I haven't read the whole thread. I don't think I do judge people on benefits. Especially parents of young kids.

However, there is a theme in this thread where circumstances change unexpectedly. This seems to be code for "father stops paying". We should be judging those men as a society. It takes two parents to bring up kids, I can't imagine how hard life is as a single parent. The very very least they could do is pay their way.

This is spot on. Why should women left holding the babies (and I know just as many long term married in their 30s as young mums in the situation) and be judged and shamed for trying to juggle everything. Yet the man who walks away faces zero stigma, zero shame, zero sense of.obligation. It's criminal. Especially when they go on to have more and are easily allowed to reduce the amount the pay for existing children.

Young mums stuck in the system are NOT the problem.

The people who typically bash are the middle class who have no concept of the struggles and barriers the working class face. They look at it as they are paying for lazy people to sit on their arse. Whereas the working class understand poverty and suffering and will accept support to avoid that.

I would like to think I've never benefit bashed but I will say you get more money than many people who are out working for a living. My DSis works part time in not overly well paid job and gets less than you do. Her DH lost his job due to covid and hasn't been able to get anything else but because she's working he gets no money at all. Not your fault they don't have young kids but they're in their late 50's and don't get a penny - you're in your early 20's and are getting twice as much as she is. Doesn't seem right.

[quote Cheeseonpost]@Waxonwaxoff0

The op has 2 under 2 in her early 20’s, of course people can say she was an engineer in her own life and as such made choices that weren’t ideal.

Many wait until I’m committed relationships, married, with savings before having children for this very reason, the OP has made poor life choices that have led them to relying on benefits[/quote]
And some people cannot afford to save. Do the people doing the minimum wage jobs not deserve to have children? Because not everyone is going to have a professional well paid career. Someone needs to do those jobs with shit pay that we as a society rely on.

This old chestnut being brought out again to justify poor life choices by the stupid

I'm not using it to justify poor life choices by the "stupid" (nice attitude, BTW, want some vinegar to go with that chip on your shoulder?), I'm simply pointing out that what an older person might consider to be a bad idea doesn't necessarily seem like one to someone whose brain is still developing.

@getyourarseofffthequattro, we are on about op here who is claiming benefits. She clearly can't afford to be having children as a young mum as she's relying on benefits to survive.

@Hospedia

This old chestnut being brought out again to justify poor life choices by the stupid

I'm not using it to justify poor life choices by the "stupid" (nice attitude, BTW, want some vinegar to go with that chip on your shoulder?), I'm simply pointing out that what an older person might consider to be a bad idea doesn't necessarily seem like one to someone whose brain is still developing.

But that’s not what that means

People trot out that ‘fact’ with 0 knowledge of the realities.

unless you’ve done a brain scan on the OP you won’t know if hers is under developed, some peoples fully develop at 16, some at 20, some men have been seen to have not fully developed brains until 40 in some Australian studies.

It doesn’t mean they don’t understand risk and reward, it doesn’t mean they can’t plan for the future, it doesn’t mean they can’t understand consequences

Because that's an awful lot of money to receive from taxpayers, and as one of those taxpayers it can be galling when you work long hours and get zero support while paying thousands in taxes plus nursery fees plus all my own bills, council tax etc.

[quote StickyToffeePuddingAndIceCream]@getyourarseofffthequattro, we are on about op here who is claiming benefits. She clearly can't afford to be having children as a young mum as she's relying on benefits to survive.[/quote]
But she was in a relationship that has broken down. So she probably could afford them when she was with her partner. How many women regardless of age could afford to get by with no benefit top ups at all - paying all the rent and childcare costs- if their partner suddenly upped and left?

And some people cannot afford to save. Do the people doing the minimum wage jobs not deserve to have children? Because not everyone is going to have a professional well paid career. Someone needs to do those jobs with shit pay that we as a society rely on.

Exactly this.

Minimum wage should be set at a level that provides a respectable, if basic, lifestyle. It should be enough to cover the bills, buy food, and raise a family with a bit left over for some non-essentials of the individuals choosing.

No one should be "working all hours" at any job let alone 2/3/4 jobs, no one should be sinking while in FT work, no one should be working and still having to choose between heat or eat.

Employers get away with paying poverty-level wages because the government tops them up - that's where your taxes are going to, they're paying wage-bill top ups for companies who can afford to pay decent wages but choose not to because they'd rather give their money to shareholders.

@Waxonwaxoff0

Of course people who cannot afford to support their children shouldn’t bloody have them

What a silly view, yes anyone should have children if they want, fuck making sure they can live a comfortable life

@Avarua

at anyone who thinks a 20 year old guy is going to be good, solid father material. Choices.

Another vile generalisation.

@BulletTrain those figures are wrong you aren't equating for tax and NI

So the figures the OP states are actually more in line with a £35k income pre tax.

£35k for not working - that's what pisses people off.

[quote StickyToffeePuddingAndIceCream]@getyourarseofffthequattro, we are on about op here who is claiming benefits. She clearly can't afford to be having children as a young mum as she's relying on benefits to survive.[/quote]
She was working when she became pregnant. Sounds like the dad couldn't afford to have kids as he's scarpered and OP is making informed decisions to do the best she can by her children to make up for HIS bad choices. HIS bad choices, not hers.

[quote Cheeseonpost]@Waxonwaxoff0

Of course people who cannot afford to support their children shouldn’t bloody have them

What a silly view, yes anyone should have children if they want, fuck making sure they can live a comfortable life[/quote]
That would mean most people do not have children.

@Anonymous48

Yes, someone's circumstances can change unexpectedly and overnight. However, you don't just, out of the blue, end up a mother of 2 under 2 in your early 20's. That was a choice you made. As is the choice to take such a long maternity leave. You can't expect people to have much sympathy with your situation.

Incredibly ignorant.

@LadyCleathStuart

For some people it is a lifestyle choice. I know this because I am closely related to such people. When I was pregnant with my first DC they came armed with everything I could claim for once I quit work. When I told them I had no intention of quitting they called me all the names going. What an idiot I was, didn't I know what I was 'entitled to' etc. etc.

Got worse when I then married my DH because the advice had been to not marry him, claim to be a single parent (with DH living with me but not tell 'them' that obvs).

You can pretend that people like this don't exist all you like but they do.

Wow. I agree with you.

@Avarua

I’d go as far as to say 20 year olds of either sex aren’t known for making the best parents. All things considered.