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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To crawl into a hole and never talk to anyone ever again ;)

112 replies

TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 14/02/2022 21:17

Ordered a lovely takeaway.

Delivery driver got lost. Phoned me to check postcode so clever old me started spelling it phonetically... until I got to the last part "Q for Quebec, Y for Wanky"

Yes I said Y for Wanky. Actually Y for Wanky.

I sent DD2 to the door as I couldn't face the poor guy.

Actually dying inside.

What's the most embarrassing f**kup you have made to a random over the phone?

OP posts:
WhoaBettyWhite · 14/02/2022 21:26

I called a client Mr Urine instead of Mr Unwin..!!!! It was right there on paper in front of me but I couldn't stop my big mouth from saying it..!! He was not pleased....

AuntyBumBum · 14/02/2022 21:31

@TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo

Ordered a lovely takeaway.

Delivery driver got lost. Phoned me to check postcode so clever old me started spelling it phonetically... until I got to the last part "Q for Quebec, Y for Wanky"

Yes I said Y for Wanky. Actually Y for Wanky.

I sent DD2 to the door as I couldn't face the poor guy.

Actually dying inside.

What's the most embarrassing f**kup you have made to a random over the phone?

It would not occur to me to be embarrassed about this, you eventually reach an age where you are beyond all shame Grin
playingdevilsavocado · 14/02/2022 21:32

OMG I have also once said Y for Wankee!!! And then the bloke on the phone and I practically died laughing! And I have never quite got over the embarrassment.

Original poster
TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 14/02/2022 21:35

Haha @playingdevilsavocado neither of us could stop laughing 😂

I keep getting flashbacks and reliving the embarrassment!!

This is going to haunt me for years 😂

OP posts:
PurpleFadesToGreen · 14/02/2022 21:37

I mixed up " lovely " and " thank you "

I told a waiter to his face " love you "

Original poster
TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 14/02/2022 21:55

@PurpleFadesToGreen

I mixed up " lovely " and " thank you "

I told a waiter to his face " love you "

GrinGrin
OP posts:
Mayleez · 14/02/2022 22:10

@WhoaBettyWhite
Uren is a fairly common surname in my neck of the woods - it's pronounced more like "Ewan" but if I'm reading it out I have to be careful Grin!

WinterGold · 14/02/2022 22:14

When I was a TA, I worked with a male teacher who was fantastic fun and great at his job but had some “interesting” methods on occasions.

He often used the names Frank or Shirley as characters in his lesson objectives.
“What would Frank do…?”
“If Shirley was stuck, how would she…?” etc etc

One day, he set up a maths lesson to teach word problems in front of a lesson observation by the school governors. As usual, he introduced the two characters but without thinking - and I can only assume it was nerves - he inadvertently called them Shirley Whirly and Frankie Wanky. There was this awkward silence, we both exchanged a horrified look across the whiteboard…and then luckily realised that it had gone completely over the heads of a whole class of 8 year olds.

I never knew whether the other adults in the room picked up on it, but it was never mentioned and he actually got very positive feedback despite the slip up.

Original poster
TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 14/02/2022 22:18

Frankie Wanky 😂😂😂

OP posts:
RiderGirl · 14/02/2022 22:23

I am a newly qualified ODP (I work in operating theatres). Today I connected a bag to an NG tube which drains stomach contents during surgery. Unfortunately I didn't realise that the tap on the bag is undone and you're meant to do it up when you connect it, so when we removed the drapes after surgery the patient was covered in their own bile. I looked like a right incompetent twat in front of everyone and had to mop it up and clean the patient.

WhoaBettyWhite · 14/02/2022 22:24

[quote Mayleez]@WhoaBettyWhite
Uren is a fairly common surname in my neck of the woods - it's pronounced more like "Ewan" but if I'm reading it out I have to be careful Grin![/quote]
That would be almost acceptable but it was Unwin, which in my mind became U-win which then became Urine Grin
It was over 25 years ago but it still makes my insides flip when I think about it Grin

StCharlotte · 14/02/2022 22:26

Quee for queen and v for vagina Blush

mimi14 · 14/02/2022 22:31

"enjoy your meal"
"thanks, you too!" every time Blush

CluelessAt50 · 14/02/2022 22:34

I once asked for salt and vagina on my dinner in a very busy chippy.

BellaTheDarkOverlord · 14/02/2022 22:36

Injured wood pigeon in my garden. Called vets to find place to take it, late Sunday so only emergencies.
Woman on emergency phone: what's happened?
Me: I have an injured wood pigeon.
Woman: ok can I take a name?
Me: sorry I'm not sure, it's not my pigeon, I only just met him.

I realised after a following awkward silence she was asking for my name, not the random pigeons Grin

IrishMama2015 · 14/02/2022 22:37

I WFH for the last 2 years for an international finance company. Office phone is forwarded to my mobile phone. In 2 years I have only had 3 international calls come that way and not through online portals. ALL 3 times it has been the same v important client but come up as call from *country that's associated with scam calls so ALL 3 times there has been a time delay initially leading me to get snarky and VERY rude thinking it's a scam call and then having to apologise profously while I die of embarrassment 😩

Marchinghair · 14/02/2022 22:40

I’ve done the Y for Wanky and also N for knickers 🙈 Thankfully not in the same phone cal!!

Hellocatshome · 14/02/2022 22:41

I once managed to type in an email "I will pass your query to Rob our a cunt manager" I obviously meant account manager but have fat fingers!!!!!!

Original poster
TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 14/02/2022 22:41

@mimi14

"enjoy your meal" "thanks, you too!" every time Blush
DD1 has done this so many times 😂 and always turns to me and says "why the F did I just say that!!!"
OP posts:
Catkin8 · 14/02/2022 22:47

I made that exact same mistake OP on my first inbound call in a new job. How my mentor managed not to laugh is beyond me!

I also once gave part of a postcode over the phone, and when it came to the letters PS, I said Papa Smurf without thinking Grin

AcrossthePond55 · 14/02/2022 22:52

Signed off on more than one business call with a breezy 'Love you, bye". Once someone quickly replied "Thanks, Love you too" we both started laughing. Another said (cheekily) "I'm not ready for that level of commitment", again followed by laughter.

It's great when someone plays off your faux pas in a playful way.

WeatherwaxOn · 14/02/2022 22:52

I've mixed up "lovely" and "thankyou" as well but said, "Thankly" with warm enthusiasm.

CornedBeef451 · 14/02/2022 22:56

@BellaTheDarkOverlord the politeness of your response made me laugh!

I had to ring around trying to get quotes for my brother's funeral.

Unfortunately my usual social awkwardness plus the whole grief thing meant I was apparently hilariously odd on the phone and kept making undertakers laugh by accident, they were way more embarrassed than me.

PosyBoo · 14/02/2022 22:59

Oh OP, that made me chuckle 😂 😂 so feel your embarrassment though!!
I have a real habit of telling people I love them at the end of phone calls - last year alone it was the bank, car salesmen and my DD’s teacher (although, I really do love her as she is fab!).
Oh, I also phoned up a lovely old gentleman and enquired about penis (rather than piano) tuning last November!!

StrugglingArtist · 14/02/2022 23:01

@BellaTheDarkOverlord

Injured wood pigeon in my garden. Called vets to find place to take it, late Sunday so only emergencies. Woman on emergency phone: what's happened? Me: I have an injured wood pigeon. Woman: ok can I take a name? Me: sorry I'm not sure, it's not my pigeon, I only just met him.

I realised after a following awkward silence she was asking for my name, not the random pigeons Grin

Haha funniest thing I’ve read in ages 😂