Page 2 | To crawl into a hole and never talk to anyone ever again ;)

FatFilledTrottyPuss · 14/02/2022 23:21

On the phone to the insurance about my car years ago I spelled out the end of the number plate to him, instead of saying Papa November Sierra, I said ‘P N S as in penis’ then struggled to finish the rest of the call. I blame the bloke on the other end of the phone though, he was being a right knob.

Clarinet1 · 14/02/2022 23:29

Well I have literally in the last few minutes managed to What’s app message my boss with the MN thread about whether a nursery are being dicks for letting a child nap!

Bywayofanupdate · 14/02/2022 23:41

I used to work for a company with a name that sounded like Climax. I would answer the phone and one day someone asked 'did you just say climax?' from then on I kept answering the phone as climax unintentionally, it just stuck in my head 🙈 I didn't work there long!

WinterGold · 14/02/2022 23:45

@Clarinet1

Well I have literally in the last few minutes managed to What’s app message my boss with the MN thread about whether a nursery are being dicks for letting a child nap!

I made the mistake of having a three way Whatsapp between my adult DD and DS. DD had recently started a relationship with someone I didn’t particularly take to, but her choice. She was Whatsapping me to tell me about how their latest date had gone. Meanwhile, DS messaged me and asked me what I thought of the new man. I typed, “TBH, I think he sounds like a bit of a knob” but sent it by mistake to DD!

As soon as I pressed send, I knew I’d messed up and as she was online, I had no time to delete the message.

Turns out, he was very much a knob and the relationship quickly fizzled out and luckily we can laugh about it now.

Pantsomime · 14/02/2022 23:48

Called the dentist to make appointment , woman who answered said “hygiene speaking”, I burst into uncontrollable laughter at the irony when I realised she’d said “hi jean speaking”. It want remotely funny but I simply hung up and had to go to the back of the queue when I dared call again

pastaparadise · 14/02/2022 23:52

'P for paedophile' on a phone call. No idea why that sprung to mind but now it always does by association and I have to try very hard not to say it!

SouperNoodle · 14/02/2022 23:52

@Pantsomime

Called the dentist to make appointment , woman who answered said “hygiene speaking”, I burst into uncontrollable laughter at the irony when I realised she’d said “hi jean speaking”. It want remotely funny but I simply hung up and had to go to the back of the queue when I dared call again

😂

sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea · 14/02/2022 23:54

I've told this story before on here but...

I was on the phone to my new business bank manager. Very serious conversation that I was honestly struggling to keep up with because of the jargon. I realised he was a bit distracted, and then he said 'sorry, hang on'. I heard murmured conversation in the background.

BM: Sorry about that, I'm actually pulled over in a layby, and some chap came over to talk to me. Um. That was odd. I think he just propositioned me.

Me: Ooh! Lucky you!
BM: HAHAHAHAHA No, he wasn't my type at all!

There was then a very long pause.

BM: So, considering what your solicitors have said, I'd suggest we progress with the second option for the loan, which is 12.47%
Me: Yes, yes, that would be best, yes, oh, I have to go now, 12.47% yes, I'll sign the forms & fax them over.

MinnieJackson · 15/02/2022 00:13

I had to read out one of the codes on a covid test over the phone, got to GB at the end and randomly blurted out 'for Gary Barlow!'

BashfulClam · 15/02/2022 00:16

A colleague made the exact same mistake. It happens.

Leilala · 15/02/2022 00:47

Use to teach racket sports. Mixed up hit and shot. Told the poor traumatized child ….

Good shit

ilovepixie · 15/02/2022 00:57

I kissed the Asda delivery driver goodbye.

Saying my postcode and said B for Bollocks

Bent over at work and let out an enormous fart!

ilovepixie · 15/02/2022 00:59

@BellaTheDarkOverlord

Injured wood pigeon in my garden. Called vets to find place to take it, late Sunday so only emergencies. Woman on emergency phone: what's happened? Me: I have an injured wood pigeon. Woman: ok can I take a name? Me: sorry I'm not sure, it's not my pigeon, I only just met him.

I realised after a following awkward silence she was asking for my name, not the random pigeons

DearDee123 · 15/02/2022 01:04

I was once talking to a bunch of colleagues (and not particularly close ones, just general chit chat making coffee) about a sore throat I was experiencing and how it wasn’t like a normal sore throat and so when I explaining it to them I kept referring to my ‘sore vulva’ rather than ‘sore uvula’ 😂

VodselForDinner · 15/02/2022 01:29

@BellaTheDarkOverlord

Injured wood pigeon in my garden. Called vets to find place to take it, late Sunday so only emergencies. Woman on emergency phone: what's happened? Me: I have an injured wood pigeon. Woman: ok can I take a name? Me: sorry I'm not sure, it's not my pigeon, I only just met him.

I realised after a following awkward silence she was asking for my name, not the random pigeons

Actually snorted laughing at that.

1000yellowdaisies · 15/02/2022 01:33

@BellaTheDarkOverlord

Injured wood pigeon in my garden. Called vets to find place to take it, late Sunday so only emergencies. Woman on emergency phone: what's happened? Me: I have an injured wood pigeon. Woman: ok can I take a name? Me: sorry I'm not sure, it's not my pigeon, I only just met him.

I realised after a following awkward silence she was asking for my name, not the random pigeons

That ia hilarious 😂

Whadda · 15/02/2022 01:34

I was in work and calling out a spelling on a call.

I know the NATO alphabet but somehow managed to say-
…F as in Fridge… R as in, eh, Refrigerator…”

TibetanTerrah · 15/02/2022 01:35

@BellaTheDarkOverlord

Injured wood pigeon in my garden. Called vets to find place to take it, late Sunday so only emergencies. Woman on emergency phone: what's happened? Me: I have an injured wood pigeon. Woman: ok can I take a name? Me: sorry I'm not sure, it's not my pigeon, I only just met him.

I realised after a following awkward silence she was asking for my name, not the random pigeons

@BellaTheDarkOverlord this is truly, truly amazing

IheartJKRowling · 15/02/2022 01:36

A ten minute ranty phone call to my local Council after they failed to empty my bin yet again ended with me saying "Love you" to a confused employee. They still aren't emptying my bin so I have to email complaints now but I still managed to add a "X" to one of them 🤦‍♀️.

ChrimboGateauxCatto · 15/02/2022 01:36

@TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo

Ordered a lovely takeaway.

Delivery driver got lost. Phoned me to check postcode so clever old me started spelling it phonetically... until I got to the last part "Q for Quebec, Y for Wanky"

Yes I said Y for Wanky. Actually Y for Wanky.

I sent DD2 to the door as I couldn't face the poor guy.

Actually dying inside.

What's the most embarrassing f**kup you have made to a random over the phone?

I have also done y for wanky over the phone working customer service back on the 90s.

Original poster

TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 15/02/2022 07:19

I feel so much better after reading some of these 😂😂

OP posts:

Original poster

TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 15/02/2022 07:27

@ilovepixie

I kissed the Asda delivery driver goodbye.

Saying my postcode and said B for Bollocks

Bent over at work and let out an enormous fart!

Omg crying!! How did he react?? 😂

OP posts:

Sadless · 15/02/2022 07:31

When I got married and you have to repeat what the registrar says I got to the lawful husband and said awful husband. one of his friends said not wrong there and everyone was laughing but it's was pretty embarrassing.

Sal

Theunamedcat · 15/02/2022 07:36

Injured pigeon in neighbours garden they called rspca caused a massive fuss about them (rspca) wanting to leave it to be eaten by the local cats they said 🙄 fine we will come and get it box it up for us we went out with a box the fucker flew away literally deaths door to born free in seconds...wtf dp we do now? Rang them said it died 😂

MintyFreshBreath · 15/02/2022 07:36

I phoned up Apple regarding a problem I was having with my iPad and the guy was asking me loads of questions and he said the following-

Apple man- what’s your number?
Me- err
Apple man- Any number m’am?
Me- err 6…
Apple man- No, your phone number m’am
Me- ah, makes more sense 😂