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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To crawl into a hole and never talk to anyone ever again ;)

112 replies

TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 14/02/2022 21:17

Ordered a lovely takeaway.

Delivery driver got lost. Phoned me to check postcode so clever old me started spelling it phonetically... until I got to the last part "Q for Quebec, Y for Wanky"

Yes I said Y for Wanky. Actually Y for Wanky.

I sent DD2 to the door as I couldn't face the poor guy.

Actually dying inside.

What's the most embarrassing f**kup you have made to a random over the phone?

OP posts:
Tippexy · 15/02/2022 08:02

Loads of people say Y for Wanky, there’s probably a thread a year! Smile

MsTSwift · 15/02/2022 08:04

I told a grand older lady in one of those posh gift type shops that I was “admiring her jugs”. I actually was considering buying them but as soon as I said that it sounded so wrong!

KylieCharlene · 15/02/2022 08:13

I saw an old University acquaintance and we were chatting- just small talk about the City and the weather. I then ask where she is working.
She then asks me "What are you doing now, Kylie?".
I reply "I'm just going to Poundshop then home".
It was only later I realized she meant what was I doing in terms of job/career.

dizzydizzydizzy · 15/02/2022 08:17

Thank you @TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo .Great ideas for a thread. It has given me an absolute belly laugh - what a great start to the day.

@WinterGold DD cam to find out what I was laughing out loud about. It was Franky Wanky. Even she thought that was
Funny., which is a real achievements.

I'm sure I must have numerous excellent contributions but can't think of any just now.

Original poster
TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 15/02/2022 08:17

@Tippexy

Loads of people say Y for Wanky, there’s probably a thread a year! Smile
That definitely makes me feel better Smile
OP posts:
ImALittlePea · 15/02/2022 08:37

@PurpleFadesToGreen

I mixed up " lovely " and " thank you "

I told a waiter to his face " love you "

I've done this multiple times to our local pizza takeaway.

To be fair though, I do love them 🤷‍♀️🤣

LadyFlumpalot · 15/02/2022 08:39

Was replying to a complaint email. I did T notice that I had misspelled "inconvenience" and spell check had auto corrected it to "incontinence". My reply ended with "I apologise for the delay and any incontinence caused" Blush

Luckily the guy thought it was hilarious and called me up to assure me all was good in that department.

HailAdrian · 15/02/2022 08:41

I once said 'z for xylophone.'

HerRoyalHappiness · 15/02/2022 08:45

I kissed the Asda delivery driver goodbye.
How, why and what was the reaction?

Greenandcabbagelooking · 15/02/2022 08:49

Sometimes I sign work emails “best wishes”, sometimes “kind regards”. Apparat from the time I got them mixed up, and signed off an email to my Head of Department with “best kisses”.

Hoppinggreen · 15/02/2022 08:53

I was speaking to a very upright Spanish lawyer and due to my dodgy Spanish I explained that I didn’t really get on with my Cunt very well, it was ok in small doses but I didn’t enjoy spending time with it.
I was trying to say Sister in law.

thinkingaboutLangCleg · 15/02/2022 08:57

Thanks everyone for all these laughs!

Perrymenopausal · 15/02/2022 09:05

Once sent an email out to 500+ people taking about using pubic car park instead of public. I had multiple emails to reply to and even after years people would still bring it up.

Sent an email out giving details of the bosses new contact information. Referred to him as Brain instead of Brian. Luckily he saw the funny side.

MrsRussell · 15/02/2022 09:08

When I was a temp PA to a senior lecturer at a university, first time I'd used Lotus Notes and I could not get autocorrect off. PA to Mr Steakhouse for about a month.

MrsRussell · 15/02/2022 09:08

(In my current job I often chunter on about shit gun licences to the Police, too.)

FangsForTheMemory · 15/02/2022 09:12

@Marchinghair

I’ve done the Y for Wanky and also N for knickers 🙈 Thankfully not in the same phone cal!!
You MUST change your name to WankyKnickers!
notanothertakeaway · 15/02/2022 09:49

I said to a new client "Tabbit is an unusual surname". Lucky it's not Rabbit. That would be awful"

His surname was, of course, Rabbit

Madhairday · 15/02/2022 10:13

I sent an invitation out to my church to come and have pimps in the garden

Luckily they all thought it was hilarious and still talk about it 🤣

Original poster
TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 15/02/2022 10:46

@notanothertakeaway

I said to a new client "Tabbit is an unusual surname". Lucky it's not Rabbit. That would be awful"

His surname was, of course, Rabbit

His first name wasn't Chris was it??
OP posts:
Original poster
TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 15/02/2022 10:47

@Madhairday

I sent an invitation out to my church to come and have pimps in the garden

Luckily they all thought it was hilarious and still talk about it 🤣

Haha DD1 has done similar but only to me 😂😂

She was asking if we could order hot chocs from Starbucks as a Sunday treat.

Her text (from 5 feet away obviously) read, can we treat ourselves and order some hot chicks??

OP posts:
AnybodyAnywhere · 15/02/2022 10:57

I’m not usually ‘star struck’ but in this particular instance I was more than ‘struck’ and my brain turned to goo.

He asked me to spell my name (for an autograph) and as it was noisy I used (my version of) the phonetic alphabet. Won’t spell out the whole name but it included D for daffodil, U for ungrateful and I for ignorant 😳😳

Fortunately he found it funny and said he would be A for arsehole……it was Axl Rose.

PussGirl · 15/02/2022 11:04

I was spelling out my car reg number to the insurance company on the phone

UUX - Unicorn, Unicorn, X-ray

I could sense the amusement at the other end

duh!

IntrovertedExtrovert1 · 15/02/2022 13:09

I come from a working class family and have always lived right on the outskirts of London and this was a good few years back now, way before all of the fancy coffee shops we have abundance of now. Any cafes in the area were ‘greasy spoon cafes’ and the only drinks you could possibly even think about having with a breakfast were tea OR coffee. Simple, no frills, no messing about.

Anyway one day I had an interview in central London and was early so thought I’d head somewhere for a cup of tea before. There was the cutest little cafe that I ever did see just ahead of me, it was majestic with beautiful decor and cute little tables outside. I felt like it was from a film. It was absolutely rammed, long queue and no free tables but I was in awe so waited in the queue and after a while it was my turn and I headed to the till... As I said it was rammed so you practically had to shout out your order...

Me: ‘Hiya can I have a cup of tea please’

Barista: ‘Hi yes of course, English Breakfast?’

Me: ‘oh no thanks! Just the tea please. I’m not hungry. Actually quite nervous because I’ve got a job interview and so definitely can’t eat!!’ nervous chortle

Barista: ‘looks at me blankly* and a long pause..

Barista: ‘oh no sorry I meant do you want English Breakfast tea? ... Or Earl Grey, orrrr...’ and points at the array of potted teas he had stacked on shelves behind him.

Took me a minute to realise what he meant Blush - the barista and a few others in the queue behind me luckily laughed with me about this. I grabbed my tea and swiftly made it out with no looking back!

Original poster
TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 15/02/2022 23:10

@IntrovertedExtrovert1

I come from a working class family and have always lived right on the outskirts of London and this was a good few years back now, way before all of the fancy coffee shops we have abundance of now. Any cafes in the area were ‘greasy spoon cafes’ and the only drinks you could possibly even think about having with a breakfast were tea OR coffee. Simple, no frills, no messing about.

Anyway one day I had an interview in central London and was early so thought I’d head somewhere for a cup of tea before. There was the cutest little cafe that I ever did see just ahead of me, it was majestic with beautiful decor and cute little tables outside. I felt like it was from a film. It was absolutely rammed, long queue and no free tables but I was in awe so waited in the queue and after a while it was my turn and I headed to the till... As I said it was rammed so you practically had to shout out your order...

Me: ‘Hiya can I have a cup of tea please’

Barista: ‘Hi yes of course, English Breakfast?’

Me: ‘oh no thanks! Just the tea please. I’m not hungry. Actually quite nervous because I’ve got a job interview and so definitely can’t eat!!’ nervous chortle

Barista: ‘looks at me blankly* and a long pause..

Barista: ‘oh no sorry I meant do you want English Breakfast tea? ... Or Earl Grey, orrrr...’ and points at the array of potted teas he had stacked on shelves behind him.

Took me a minute to realise what he meant Blush - the barista and a few others in the queue behind me luckily laughed with me about this. I grabbed my tea and swiftly made it out with no looking back!

Love this 😂😂 this is definitely something I would do!!
OP posts:
MonkeyBoots · 16/02/2022 00:09

This thread has made me wake my sleeping baby multiple times laughing! I have done so many of these things especially while pregnant!

Im a nurse and on a phone call to a patient asked to speak to To Mr Penis about his Smith....my student had filled the boxes out wrong!
Same student whilst with me visiting a grieving family
F" mum didn't open her eyes for the last week but we sat by her talking to each other"
Overconfident student "she will have known you were there, they say the hearing is the last to go"
F" she was deaf from birth"

Never been so embarrassed!