Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Don’t know what to do about naughty cat

82 replies

elle0305 · 14/02/2022 10:17

We have 2 cats (a brother and sister), not any specific breed, just the general domestic cat type, they will be 8 years old this year, have had them since they were kittens, both neutered, and both go outside.
The male has always been the one with the naughty behaviour, he has always scratched and pulled up carpets, scratched paint off walls, chewed through various wires etc. the female has never been naughty. Since having my two children (a 3 year old and a 4 month old), our male cat has just ramped up his naughty behaviour. The biggest issue we seem to have is in the morning he seems to think I should feed him his wet food immediately before feeding my children, despite the fact he has dry food left out overnight. My husbands answer is just for me to just the cats first for an easy life, but our vet actually told me this is probably where we have gone wrong in the first place, as we have inadvertently put them at the top of the pecking order, and he didn’t really have much advice other than let the cats outside before I make breakfast so they aren’t in the house, which is fine on a dry day, but when it’s raining he will not physically go out of the door, I’d have to literally throw him out 😆
So on a typical morning I will come downstairs, make my 3 year olds breakfast, then make the baby his bottle and sit at the table and feed him his bottle while my 3 year old eats. During this time the cat will be being naughty purely to get my attention as he thinks he should be fed first? That then seems to set his behaviour tone for the rest of the day. And sometimes he won’t even eat his food when I do feed them, like out of protest? And he will carry on being naughty.. I’m honestly at my wits end with him, my life is stressful enough without an animal putting me in a shit mood every morning. Does anyone have any advice?

OP posts:
Duracellbunnywannabe · 14/02/2022 10:19

It’s a cat of course he thinks he is at the top of the pecking order.

GaiusHelenMohiam · 14/02/2022 10:20

Cats are the boss of any house. Just feed him first.

TimePoliceTeam236 · 14/02/2022 10:20

Well he's a cat - he IS at the top of the pecking order WinkGrin

I'd say he's more stressed than being naughty if this behaviour has come on since having the baby.
You need to find him a chilled space away from the DC.

MaterialWorld · 14/02/2022 10:22

Get a timed cat feeder and set it the night before with wet food? Then he's happy and out of your hair whilst you focus on the kids

TimePoliceTeam236 · 14/02/2022 10:22

And yes, feed him first if that will improve things. He's not a dog he doesn't need to learn the pecking order.

TerraNovaTwo · 14/02/2022 10:22

It's sound like you need to give your cat more of a fuss at other times of the day/throughout the day. Also fill his bowl twice daily.

BusterGonad · 14/02/2022 10:24

Personally I would just feed him first. I like an easy life.

Maneandfeathers · 14/02/2022 10:24

Mines does this too.
I just feed him for an easy life then he leaves me alone. Takes a second to Chuck a pouch in a bowl.

I don’t think cats are capable of protest Grin

1940s · 14/02/2022 10:24

Just feed the cat first. Takes seconds to throw a wet pouch into a bowl. You won't be able to train this out of a cat and seems very silly to attempt to

CatJumperTwat · 14/02/2022 10:25

Your vet is an idiot if he really did say that. Just feed the cat.

viques · 14/02/2022 10:25

He doesn’t think he is at the top of the pecking order. He is at the top of the pecking order, and he knows it.

It is no good trying to reason with him, he will win every time, do what he wants, it will make your life much easier. He had your undivided attention for five years, but for the last three he has had his cute little cat nose pushed out of joint, of course he wants your attention back and feeding him first is one way of assuring him that he is still your special one.

elle0305 · 14/02/2022 10:25

He does have wet food twice a day, not just in the morning, he has wet in the morning and evening, then dry overnight, honestly you’d think I starved him the way he acts in a morning 🤣

OP posts:
AllThingsServeTheBeam · 14/02/2022 10:27

I'd just feed him first.

One of mine is the same and I just let him do what he wants. You can't control a cat.

They will always be the most important thing in their life. They aren't dogs, there I no 'pecking order'. That's even outdated information on dogs!

1940s · 14/02/2022 10:27

@elle0305

He does have wet food twice a day, not just in the morning, he has wet in the morning and evening, then dry overnight, honestly you’d think I starved him the way he acts in a morning 🤣
Then just feed him. With two kids at home trying to sort them why make your life harder. Seems very silly you've out so much thought into this 'cat gets naughty when wanting food' 'I know I will ask veg, open thread on mumsnet and sit and do all other morning chores before feeding cat' very bizarre
ohhooh · 14/02/2022 10:27

Our cats do this too - they will forcibly wake us up for their morning food! 😂

Cats really are creatures of routine and get stressed quite easily, if he's acting up more than normal he might be super stressed - does he have enough toys / enrichment? Our older male cat needs lots of fuss and toys then he's really calm, he also has set routines and feeding times which if missed he hates!

SalsaLove · 14/02/2022 10:28

Definitely feed him first. He’s not being naughty. His life has been disrupted by a changing routine. Cats thrive on routine, and feeding them is a demonstration of your care and affection towards them. He needs some one on one attention and play time from either you or your husband. It’s not a big ask.

user1471538283 · 14/02/2022 10:28

Our DBoycat is exactly the same and he is hungry all the time. I always feed them both as soon as I put the kettle on otherwise I never get a second to drink my tea. Also I think DBoycat in particular likes to eat with others; your boy might be the same.

To be fair he used to be worse. He used to scratch at the bathroom door because I had the audacity to want a wee before feeding him ...

Scabetty · 14/02/2022 10:29

Cats come before humans. Accept that fact. Simple life Smile

Blackalice · 14/02/2022 10:31

Definitely feed the cat first. I go cat, chickens, kids, me 😂

NeverTouchWarmPants · 14/02/2022 10:32

I think to make his life better and to reduce your stress just feed him first
It takes seconds.
The cat doesn't understand that things have changed for you

elle0305 · 14/02/2022 10:36

Wouldn’t really say it’s bizarre to ask for advice on a forum 🤨 I didn’t come on here before feeding him, it’s 10:30, this happened early this morning 😆 I typed this whilst trapped under a napping baby, but thanks for your input

OP posts:
BobbinHood · 14/02/2022 10:39

I’d also just feed him first for an easy life. Or make it your DH’s job to feed him every day and then he might bug him for food instead. You refer to “letting” the cats out - do they have a cat flap? If not could you get one then he might spend more time outside if it’s on his own terms?

TimePoliceTeam236 · 14/02/2022 10:46

@BobbinHood

I’d also just feed him first for an easy life. Or make it your DH’s job to feed him every day and then he might bug him for food instead. You refer to “letting” the cats out - do they have a cat flap? If not could you get one then he might spend more time outside if it’s on his own terms?

He'd also have an escape route for if the kids get too boisterous.

steppemum · 14/02/2022 10:47

cat's really don't understand pecking order, if they are hungry they are hungry.

Feed him first. Then happy relaxed cat, less stressed.
Our cat also at times needs a cuddle and stroke to settle before feeding, then he feeds, and is relaxed and calm.

steppemum · 14/02/2022 10:49

the scratching - does he have places he can scratch outside? Like rough pieces of wood?
Or scratching posts inside?