Don’t know what to do about naughty cat

[elle0305]

We have 2 cats (a brother and sister), not any specific breed, just the general domestic cat type, they will be 8 years old this year, have had them since they were kittens, both neutered, and both go outside.
The male has always been the one with the naughty behaviour, he has always scratched and pulled up carpets, scratched paint off walls, chewed through various wires etc. the female has never been naughty. Since having my two children (a 3 year old and a 4 month old), our male cat has just ramped up his naughty behaviour. The biggest issue we seem to have is in the morning he seems to think I should feed him his wet food immediately before feeding my children, despite the fact he has dry food left out overnight. My husbands answer is just for me to just the cats first for an easy life, but our vet actually told me this is probably where we have gone wrong in the first place, as we have inadvertently put them at the top of the pecking order, and he didn’t really have much advice other than let the cats outside before I make breakfast so they aren’t in the house, which is fine on a dry day, but when it’s raining he will not physically go out of the door, I’d have to literally throw him out 😆
So on a typical morning I will come downstairs, make my 3 year olds breakfast, then make the baby his bottle and sit at the table and feed him his bottle while my 3 year old eats. During this time the cat will be being naughty purely to get my attention as he thinks he should be fed first? That then seems to set his behaviour tone for the rest of the day. And sometimes he won’t even eat his food when I do feed them, like out of protest? And he will carry on being naughty.. I’m honestly at my wits end with him, my life is stressful enough without an animal putting me in a shit mood every morning. Does anyone have any advice?

@CoastalWave

Actually, i've just re-read your post.

The fact that your male has always been like this suggests that you don't pay them enough attention :( You can't just 'have' a cat. You need to entertain them and spend time with them. Do you do that?

I have two girls and a boy cat. The boy absolutely gets the most attention, the girls prefer to be loved from a distance (I don’t have choice in the matter, when he wants lap time he will climb on me until I sit still enough for him to get settled) but he is still the naughtiest of the 3.

I really feel your pain OP, I have to drop everything when mine wants dreamies, to go out, to the litter tray (yes I have to sometimes stop what I’m doing to go and watch him poo, he won’t leave me alone otherwise).

A cat flap wouldn’t help mine, because most of the time he won’t come in unless I meet him at the door even if it’s wide open. I’ve tried leaving him to it but no, he will just wail outside the door. He also sometimes prefers to come in through the front door.

He will knock things off surfaces before I have a chance to stop him or move the item. That’s his preferred way of getting attention. He will be sleeping on the sofa, wake up and within 5 seconds has jumped on the table and knocked something off to signify that that he’s hungry or whatever else.

It’s just me and DP, no DC and no significant changes that would unsettle him, it’s just how he is.

I’ve tried everything over the years OP, and the only options I seem to have are pretending to be asleep (not always practical and a short lived solution) or bending to his will. Sorry that probably doesn’t help!

He does have wet food twice a day, not just in the morning
wow - only twice, doesn't demand elevenses, lunch, afternoon tea and a bedtime snack?

Breakfast/bottles/feeding sounds like it would take a while. I'd do the cat pouch first and have a relaxed (well as much as you can with a baby and a toddler) breakfast without a yowling cat.
to be fair, mine has learned that she has to wait when I first get up until I've been to the bathroom - but that involves her being patient for about two minutes.

And he will probably go back to top of the pecking order when the baby starts eating solids in a couple of months, he did used to get fed before my 3 year old because like I said .. protests 🤣 but i physically have to feed the crying baby first which means I also have to feed the 3 year old as that’s 10 mins he’s just sat there that he could be eating, and I don’t know about anyone else’s 3 year olds but mine takes a good 45 mins to eat a little bowl of cereal, but that’s a problem for another day 😅

How to Stop Your Cat From Chewing Electrical Cords

It starts with a list of possible reasons including stress.

Cover electrical cords by running them through PVC pipes. You can also make them less appetizing by painting them with hot sauce or a commercial bitter apple substance.
Smear the cordswith a menthol-containing substance, like Vicks VapoRub, to keep your cat at bay since the smell can be quite off-putting. The Ssscat motion detector, which “hisses” if the kitty comes close, can also be a humane kitty deterrent.
Offer the cat alternatives to chew, such as cardboard. Some cats also enjoy gnawing on the smallest-size canine rawhide chews—dip them in warm water and zap them in the microwave first to soften them a bit.
Add digestible fiber to your cat's diet, which prompts some cats to reduce their chewing activity or even stop altogether.9 Fresh cat greens, green beans, or lettuce added to the cat’s food bowl may do the trick. Some of the “hairball formula” commercial diets may also work, as they provide increased fiber as well.
Reduce anxiety to help eliminate the need for chewing. Consider trying a synthetic kitty facial pheromone to relieve stress and soothe your cat.10 Otherwise, make sure your cat's litter box is spotless and that it has enough toys and playtime with you to stave off boredom.

I think your idea about DH feeding him at 5.30 might be the best one. It will be good for your cat to have someone else be 'his person' at that time of day, and it will get the food faff off your to-do list (my cats also eat daily raw food and it's definitely not as easy as opening a pouch/tin).

Maybe then you could give him a single treat bikkie when you come down, just to soothe his delicate ego while you sort the bottle.

@steppemum

pouches = bad for environment tins = good for environment

just saying....

Pouches = I can open them Cans = I can't

Just saying....

@AllThingsServeTheBeam electric can opener?

[quote 1940s]@AllThingsServeTheBeam electric can opener?[/quote]
I'm fine with pouches thanks.

I'd struggle getting it all out of the tin even open

I mean, in fairness, cans aren't "good" for the environment. (And I say this as a can user)
And my cats aren't good for all the wildlife that they desecrate.
And cat food has to be manufactured....
And lots of the cans then come wrapped in single use plastic...

The greenest thing is to just not have pets.
Gulp. Can you imagine a life without your furry friends?

I like to think I'm fairly eco friendly. But I have my limits. We all have our limits. And eco-shaming only really turns people off. Eco-shaming increases both climate crisis apathy and feelings of hopelessness. It turns something that should be innate into something that feels exclusive or just about virtue signalling.

If you feed your cats out of pouches, that's okay. Try to make changes where you can. Don't shame anyone else for their choices!

I can't believe I'm getting all po faced about cat food pouches now. FFS. I only came on this thread to make jokes about breastfeeding cats.

So a million responses saying feed the cat first but no, you're adamant you'd rather keep upsetting the cat and cause drama for yourself in the process. No helping some people!

I've just timed how long it took to feed x2 of mine. Under 2 mins. Yes the baby needs feeding but another 2 mins is going to make ZERO difference to the baby. You don't physically have to feed the baby first at all. Meanwhile the cat has to wait 45 mins for you to give him any attention. Ok.

you're adamant you'd rather keep upsetting the cat and cause drama for yourself in the process.

She's said she's going to get her DH who is up at 5.30 to feed the cats and if that doesn't work look at a timer.

I think she's also mentioned she'll try a plug in.

I do think it's odd she going on about pecking orders with cats but vet seems to have helped with that view - but she has two young kids and is probably just venting - mornings with young kids can be stressful.

@MsJinks

You can - and should - do this with dogs around their feeding to shove them down the ‘pack’ pecking order, however, I’ve never heard cats can, or should, be taught in this way - I can’t see how it would work as they would never learn. Cats don’t show stress as we might expect so it’s likely he is even more stressed than he seems and then not feeding him but putting him out will add more stress. I’d just feed him for easiest or get a timed feeder. Making him wait won’t help anything for a cat tbh.

Ah thank you - I get so behind in knowledge in so many areas all the time - good to be updated instead of ‘assuming’! My daughter was told this last year by a dog behaviour trainer - so I’ll be telling her this and also maybe suggesting she gets a different one if she has another - cheers

I love cats.

All cats are bastards.

Both statements are true.

Had to evict mine (they have an extremely expensive purpose built cat cabin outside, the free run of beautiful countryside and are half farm-cat anyway) as after three years and trying everything they wouldn't stop widdling on the furniture, and twelve months later they are still yowling at the window to come in 24/7, sooo I don't think there is any mileage in trying to change cat behaviour; you either have to accommodate them or learn to ignore them or point and laugh at their little sad noses pressed up against the glass but that might just be me. Good luck with it.

Lots of cats get very obsessive about wet food. You could just feed dry.

I feed the cat before I have a wee in the morning because she is outside my bedroom door miaowing the second I open it.
Of course he wants to be fed - it only takes 20 seconds.

Water spray bottle for when they chew wires usually does the trick. As does hissing.

Perhaps cat is thirsty by breakfast time? If humans can't tell the difference between hunger & thirst then I don't suppose a cat can. I'm sure your cat has access to water and is undoubtedly pickier about how, when and where he drinks it but if his water bowl is near his food move it further away. They don't like water near food. I was a cat owner for many years before I discovered this.

*cat slave

We have always had cats & foster cats for a cat rescue. Always feed the cats first. It takes under a minute and makes for a peaceful life. Cats are the boss, but joking aside it isn’t like you can reason with them. The problem with ignoring him is you are making the ‘bad’ behaviour a habit. It’s far better to make interactions positive and make it that he doesn’t need to do x to get y.
Also, he’s had two massive changes, one recently, with the addition of a new baby. That’s often very stressful for cats.

Sounds like he is jealous of the baby. Give his pouch first and make a fuss of him. It will take 1 minute. I bet it takes you 15 mins to feed 3 years old and baby a bottle.

I agree with just feed him. Would make your life so much easier

He's not "naughty". He's a cat. Just feed him, it's not exactly time consuming.

@villainousbroodmare

Lots of cats get very obsessive about wet food. You could just feed dry.

This can lead to UTIs. Especially in male cats.

I call my cats in and feed them last thing before I go to bed, so they're not waking me up for food in the morning.
Not sure how easy it will be to retrain yours if they are used to being fed in the morning though!

No sensible advice here my cat is a sod. I just give her whatever she wants.