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Original poster

What is your biggest regret in life?

856 replies

Teadrinker11 · 12/02/2022 21:19

At 26, I know I'm still at an age where I'm somewhat young enough to make good decisions to prevent more regret in the future, but I still do regret a lot. I've wasted so much money on things I didn't need, I neglected my health for so long, it's taken me to 26 to somewhat have my life together. I'm studying law and love it, but hate how I spent so much time after school messing around wasting my life. I didn't go to college straight after school like so many of my classmates did and I still pine over the years I lost, when people in their early 20s are having the time of their lives. What is your biggest regret?

OP posts:
ThisIsNotThePostYourLookingFor · 13/02/2022 00:58

Having kids and not deciding what I really wanted out of life.

TicksallBoxes · 13/02/2022 01:01

@CoastalWave I'm so sorry your pensions didn't work out, but back in the early 90s it was the general consensus that pensions just weren't worth it but that property was, so everyone I knew got on the property ladder. It's really worked for most of us.

Elllicam · 13/02/2022 01:04

I would have liked to have my children younger but then I suppose they wouldn’t have been the same children and I love the kids I have. I love being reasonably financially stable too which would definitely not have been the case as a younger mum too.

Mamanyt · 13/02/2022 01:09

My first husband. The only thing good to come out of that marriage was my two sons. Looking back on it, I can only think that I married him to make my mum mad.

Flickflak · 13/02/2022 01:12

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

WouldBeGood · 13/02/2022 01:16

Not listening to my sister. She’s now dead

Chimchiminie · 13/02/2022 01:17

@Changeee15467

When I was 20 I thought it would be a laugh to appear in a lads mag in underwear for a specific feature they did. My family didn’t speak to me for months afterwards. I still feel so ashamed even though I’m a lot older and a feminist. I have a really good professional job now and I’d be mortified if anyone knew. I do feel I was taken advantage of a bit but it was mostly my fault. There is a reason the brain is not fully developed until 25! The only upside is the internet wasn’t too much of a thing so never ended up being online forever more. Live and learn.
I don’t think you should feel bad about that at all! It seems quite an innocent thing to feel so ashamed about. What’s bad about this story is that your family stopped talking to you!! That must have been horrible, but appearing in a glamour shoot for a laugh really was no justification for them to go that. Don’t feel bad, you did nothing wrong. You must have great pics to look back on - enjoy the memories of your youthful exuberance!
theqentity · 13/02/2022 01:21

I regret not quitting a very very stressful job in a toxic workplace where my head of dept bullied me, gleefully, every single day for four years. I still bear the mental scars to this day. I wonder sometimes about writing to her, but I'm too afraid of her.

IShouldntPostBut · 13/02/2022 01:23

Not asking out the cute redhead I met in night school. She so wanted me to ask!

My mom's a redhead - she always wanted redheaded grandchildren!

I try to console myself with the knowledge that I wasn't very mature :)

Frazzled50yrold · 13/02/2022 01:26

Not reconciling with a long term boyfriend, decades later I miss him terribly and know I made ridiculous mistakes

Charlize43 · 13/02/2022 01:37

@theqentity

I regret not quitting a very very stressful job in a toxic workplace where my head of dept bullied me, gleefully, every single day for four years. I still bear the mental scars to this day. I wonder sometimes about writing to her, but I'm too afraid of her.
I feel for you. If you are a people pleaser it is easy to be bullied and walked all over. I buried it for about 3 years, developed IBS through the stress and almost had a nervous breakdown. Some bosses are so narcissistic that I don't think they'd care even if you wrote to tell them. Mine was so caught up her in own life, and best friends with my work colleague that it was like mean girls, when I think about it now.
theqentity · 13/02/2022 01:41

@Charlize43 I've since had messages from ex colleagues at that workplace apologising for not doing more for me, but they were all trapped in her web of awfulness and pretty powerless. She took me down, systematically and mercilessly, when I was young, traumatised and grieving the love of my life (my mother). I will never ever forget the email she sent me on the day of my mother's email, sweetly telling me I needed to come back to work.

theqentity · 13/02/2022 01:50

*funeral, not email.

That was fun to read before I buried my mum. Sad

blueshoes · 13/02/2022 01:53

@dee1969

I always wanted to join the police force from quite a young age. When I was about 16 my dad said he would disown me if I did. Many years later he asked me why I never went into the police force and I said because you said you would disown me. He looked at me and said I was only joking I thought you realised that. I was heartbroken and totally gutted. By that time I had a child and was single so it was no longer an option. Biggest regret of my life
What a terrible waste. Why did you believe what he said - did he say it threateningly?
Youcansaythatagainandagain · 13/02/2022 01:56

Not emigrating.
I had the chance to emigrate twice and didn't take it. The first time I'd have gone and married a boyfriend mainly for a visa and I didn't think that would be fair to him and I didn't want to go down that route. The second time DH got cold feet. If I had pushed we could have gone. I regret it every single day. We're too old to qualify for a visa now.

LoveFall · 13/02/2022 02:00

Not really something I did. I regret spending my adult life struggling to work, raise a family, and keep a positive outlook all the while trying to live with and manage ulcerative colitis.

Thinking back, my life was punctuated by flare ups, and even happy memories can make me remember, "oh ya, that was the time I had to literally panic about finding a bathroom I could use, but still didn't make it."

Now I have a monthly infusion of a biologic called Entyvio that has keep me in remission for three years.

Too bad about covid. I could have been traveling without worrying about toilets.

[waves to fellow IBD'ers]

Piggyk2 · 13/02/2022 02:05

Not living in a shared house at 19 so I could of saved!

I agree your still young OP and you sound like your doing fine.

Gingernaut · 13/02/2022 02:12

Not applying myself academically

I have no qualifications worth a damn and can't get a student loan now.

I can't afford to study for a degree now.

Changeee15467 · 13/02/2022 02:16

@Chimchiminie thank you that’s really nice of you. I just cringe at the sexual nature of the photos Confused but I suppose it’s just one of those things from youth 🙈

Cheesecakeandwineinasuitcase · 13/02/2022 02:23

Not saving more when I was younger. I have savings but by my age I could have saved a nice nest egg by now and paid more off the mortgage.

buddylicious · 13/02/2022 02:27

Messing around at school and not aiming higher!

Kennykenkencat · 13/02/2022 02:37

I have a few. They are when I try to give people 2nd chances and ignore what my gut is saying and not speaking up.

First was when a was very young and in care.
I wanted to stay in care but my gf came to get me out of the children’s home to take me back to my mother. I had so many opportunities over the years to stop the cycle but could never manage enough courage to stand up to my family.

The other big regret was about 18 years ago I had the opportunity to change my life, take a leap into the unknown and didn’t.
On paper it was risky but possible but the safer way looked less likely to fail.
Big big mistake.
But in my defence I was in constant agony and the idea of doing anything that might be at all risky was something I couldn’t have contemplated
Regret not going private immediately and set the ball rolling for actually finding that I was shuffling round with a slipped disc and not a hip that needed replacing.

WorstXmasEver · 13/02/2022 02:39

My biggest regret is being p*ssed off at the family dog for about a year due to her bad behaviour then finding out overnight she had cancer & needed to be put to sleep 2 days before Christmas.

I didn't see her as old & never looked into the average lifespan of dogs.

She had a lot of character flaws but I could of handled them better.

merrymelodies · 13/02/2022 02:43

Nope. I did it my way!Grin

LimeSegment · 13/02/2022 02:55

Basically everything Confused Wasting time with ex bfs. Staying with my now DH after he did so many shitty things - I thought I'd never find anyone else but I probably would have. My choice of uni course and staying in that course after I realised I hated it on the first day. Because I didn't want to waste time! What's wrong with wasting time i now realise.

When I was your age OP I'd been in my career for 6 years already. Now I'm 35 and been in it for 15 years. The people that started at 26 or 30 or 33 are doing as well as me or better, plus they have so many more life experiences. Trust me, you are better off in your position.