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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What is your biggest regret in life?

856 replies

Teadrinker11 · 12/02/2022 21:19

At 26, I know I'm still at an age where I'm somewhat young enough to make good decisions to prevent more regret in the future, but I still do regret a lot. I've wasted so much money on things I didn't need, I neglected my health for so long, it's taken me to 26 to somewhat have my life together. I'm studying law and love it, but hate how I spent so much time after school messing around wasting my life. I didn't go to college straight after school like so many of my classmates did and I still pine over the years I lost, when people in their early 20s are having the time of their lives. What is your biggest regret?

OP posts:
Amiable · 31/03/2022 21:26

I wish I had travelled more in my 20s and early 30s before having a family.

Babyroobs · 31/03/2022 21:27

I wish I had not spent 35 years working in Nursing. It has wrecked my physical and mental health and put me through a huge amount of stress. Not until my fifties did I find a career I loved.

Nameandgamechange123 · 31/03/2022 21:28

1)Making myself too available for horrible men I dated and constantly being let down - that wasted a LOT of my time.
2)not managing to get over regrets from the last and being stuck, unable to move forward.
3)not doing things at the same time as other people my age eg uni/marriage/work/children etc
4) loads of other regrets....... Loads

Chasingaftermidnight · 31/03/2022 21:29

When choosing a career path I wish I’d given more thought to choosing something that could be balanced with family life.

I have a ‘good’ job but it’s fucking stressful and is impossible to balance with home life.

MrsPear · 31/03/2022 21:30

When I said yes at your age actually. I was naive and my life is the polar opposite of what I want but I have my children. Although they are growing fast and I really need a plan for the future.

Klarkin · 31/03/2022 21:33

I don’t have a lot of regrets really. Some bad stuff happened, but as with much in life there was nothing I could do about it.

I’ve generally made good decisions. My biggest regret is getting married to someone I’m not sexually compatible with. A great DH is so many ways, a good father, etc.

If I could go back in time and change that I 100% would.

JuteWeaver · 31/03/2022 21:34

Caring too much what others thought about me. Not building my self esteem a bit sooner. I'm still not the most confident woman you'll ever meet, but I don't care as much.

Oh, and not growing my hair long until my mid 40s!

KneadingKitty · 31/03/2022 21:34

Not travelling after graduating. I regret things I haven't done more than I have because I can't change those things now. I can still travel, so that regret means I might push forward one day and turn it around.

Macanncheese · 31/03/2022 21:34

Not being with the man I truly love

PebbleMillAtOne · 31/03/2022 21:38

@thistimelastweek

Not trying harder to keep my career after having children.

(2nd biggest regret; wish I'd given Dave a better chance. Sorry Dave, I sometimes think of you.)

I had a Dave once he was and probably is The One that got away. He had piecing blue eyes and cheeky sense of humour… he also had a partner and kids … but oh.. Dave.. I wish we had met a few years earlier
Jetstream · 31/03/2022 21:40

Not moving abroad in 2008/2009.
Listening to people who felt the need to undermined me. When in reality they were insecure/ terrible at their jobs/ bluffing and didn’t want to be found out/ etc.
My family, they are incredible selfish people who come across as nice and caring.

Patented · 31/03/2022 21:41

I regret not standing up to bullies at school. It's shaped me into a mostly people-adverse person save for the inner circle. But otherwise I'm largely content with my life path and simple pleasures

Washermother33 · 31/03/2022 21:41

At almost twice your age there are lots of things from my 20s - they are life’s lessons though and life would have gone on a different path if I’d not done those things - I’m happy where I am now .

Ambition9to5 · 31/03/2022 21:43

I should have had therapy earlier.
Should have stood up to my mother decades ago.

Shouldn't have had my second child.

FurForksSake · 31/03/2022 21:43

I regret nothing, everything is just the choice that is right in the moment. You don't know that if you changed something that the outcome might be worse. I try and model making mistakes to my kids, you have to be ok with getting things wrong so you can live a big life and take risks and have adventures and LIVE I believe.

tillytoodles1 · 31/03/2022 21:46

Not buying life insurance when we were younger. When my H was diagnosed with MS and had to give up work we were on a low budget and the cost was astronomical. When he died I was left with nothing. We'd already lost our house.

BrightonBunny · 31/03/2022 21:48

Staying too long in dead end relationships and marriages.

Once you start wondering if it's over, it usually is.

Ugzbugz · 31/03/2022 21:49

Made a million mistakes in my life including 30s and now in 40s and stil going strong!

You could save more but then life isn't guaranteed. Travel, take every opportunity. Give men or women a one strike rule and they are gone.

Thighdentitycrisis · 31/03/2022 21:50

Dropping out of school at 15.
Amongst other things, but that sort of started me on a trajectory of self destruction for most of my 20’s

Also, on a lighter note, shaving my legs

Shufflebumnessie · 31/03/2022 21:50

I wish I'd been braver and done some of the things I wanted to do (but didn't have the courage or self confidence).
I really wanted to apply to be a camp councillor with Camp America, did loads of research, filled in the applications but never actually sent them.
I also wish that I'd applied to study Egyptology and forged a career in that field.

RobertsRadio · 31/03/2022 21:51

@Unicornspirit One of my regrets is also not joining the RAF and funnily enough I was only today thinking that when I was younger and still working I should have taken the plunge and moved away from the south east, my money would have gone so much further and instead of always struggling to make ends meet I could have had a much more comfortable life without all the financial stress.

Op, once thing I would say to you with the benefit of hindsight is make sure you floss and look after your teeth. Wear sunscreen, don't waste money on too much Stuff, if you get on the property ladder, overpay your mortgage as much as possible, make sure your get a pension going asap; save, even small amounts, get into the habit of saving.

Travel as much as you can afford, while you are young and fit, when you are older you may find you are physically unable to manage those trips you put off.

whatisthisinhere · 31/03/2022 21:51

Ever getting married. Divorce is such a hideous process. Don't do it, just cohabit with a financial arrangement

howtomoveforwards · 31/03/2022 21:55

Getting it wrong - somehow - with my children who hate me and only want to spend time with their father. That’s a father who did sod all for 13 years and I’ve done everything and paid for everything. Knowing I need help but paralysed when it comes to getting that help. Not knowing how to build a future. Too much focus on others.

inksinkbink · 31/03/2022 21:56

I don't regret anything apart from not getting rid of a dreadful partner earlier. Why did I take him back? He was awful. It's made no difference to my life long term, I just regret not listening to my own instincts and I really feel I've learnt from it.

pinkpapaya · 31/03/2022 21:56

Not standing up for myself more. Having such low self esteem when I was younger that I allowed all sorts of bad people to treat me poorly.