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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What is your biggest regret in life?

856 replies

Teadrinker11 · 12/02/2022 21:19

At 26, I know I'm still at an age where I'm somewhat young enough to make good decisions to prevent more regret in the future, but I still do regret a lot. I've wasted so much money on things I didn't need, I neglected my health for so long, it's taken me to 26 to somewhat have my life together. I'm studying law and love it, but hate how I spent so much time after school messing around wasting my life. I didn't go to college straight after school like so many of my classmates did and I still pine over the years I lost, when people in their early 20s are having the time of their lives. What is your biggest regret?

OP posts:
mamabear715 · 31/03/2022 18:50

@Lonleygal
Nothing is ever that bad. It might feel it at that particular moment, but it doesn't last - things change.
I hope it's just a moan & you're really NOT feeling suicidal or anything? If you are, keep talking and I'm sure we'll all try to help. Hugs..

Lonleygal · 31/03/2022 19:09

[quote mamabear715]@Lonleygal
Nothing is ever that bad. It might feel it at that particular moment, but it doesn't last - things change.
I hope it's just a moan & you're really NOT feeling suicidal or anything? If you are, keep talking and I'm sure we'll all try to help. Hugs..[/quote]
Thanks for the reply wasn’t expecting that! No I had a mental breakdown a month ago and I felt suicidal. But now I’ve come to my senses as I have 4 kids and my mum so I wouldn’t actually kill myself . I realised it would probably ruin there lives to especially my youngest daughter as we’re best friends. I ment more over as in past decisions I made mean I don’t have any future . I can’t get a job, I can’t drive and I hardly go out . Nobody else to blame but myself of course. Think I was just a messed up person !

SockFluffInTheBath · 31/03/2022 19:29

Pissing my a-levels up the wall. I did ok but started out on track for straight A’s and my career/life would have been very different: I’ve always fallen in my feet work wise but I’d have gone a completely different path with better grades.

mamabear715 · 31/03/2022 19:56

@Lonleygal I'm sorry you felt so bad.. I hope things feel a little brighter now & yes, your kids need you.
I don't work either - although I'm getting on a bit! I don't drive either, oh, I wish I did, started when I was 26 & never went back to it.. and I hardly go out, never at night time & hardly in the daytime either!
I'm ok though, made peace with a lot of things. I'm content, and have happy times, although I aim for content more than happy, because that's more achievable, isn't it?
I'm aiming to get ON with things this Spring. Maybe learn something different. Even when life has been a bit of a car crash, hopefully there's always something to look forwards to. Hugs..

Hawkins001 · 31/03/2022 20:19

@Teadrinker11

At 26, I know I'm still at an age where I'm somewhat young enough to make good decisions to prevent more regret in the future, but I still do regret a lot. I've wasted so much money on things I didn't need, I neglected my health for so long, it's taken me to 26 to somewhat have my life together. I'm studying law and love it, but hate how I spent so much time after school messing around wasting my life. I didn't go to college straight after school like so many of my classmates did and I still pine over the years I lost, when people in their early 20s are having the time of their lives. What is your biggest regret?
A few years ago I had the opportunity of a lovely lady taking an interest in me, I often wish I had took the chance rather than let my shyness get in the way so to speak. Yes the time line could of been altered quite a bit, but it would of been intriguing to see how it would of planned out.
curlymom · 31/03/2022 20:20

@GeodesicDome

Not staying overseas. I was homesick for England. What a dope.
Me too. I had it good and was desperate to get back to this mess.
Lonleygal · 31/03/2022 20:24

Thankyou. I think I want the same now , just to find some peace and be content. Hopefully one day I will. Hope you get on ok too x

Sunnytwobridges · 31/03/2022 20:34

@Lonleygal

Everything I’ve done in my life from the age of 14 to 40. Now it’s such a mess I just have to accept it’s over now . ☹️
Ugh me too. It makes me sad and now i'm old so I feel like it doesn't even matter anymore but I still live in a sea of regrets. :(
Lostsoul91 · 31/03/2022 20:35

Having children.

Walton45123 · 31/03/2022 20:45

Without a doubt my biggest regret is hanging out with a bunch of absolutely horrible girls at university. I was scared to ditch them as I didn’t think I’d have any other friends. I now realise that having no friends would have been better, and actually I probably would have made other nicer friends anyway.
Took absolutely years for my self confidence to recover. I know that sounds dramatic but I was basically bullied for three years.

CatRamsey · 31/03/2022 20:46

Becoming mordibly obese. I'm mid twenties and everyone talks about how your 20s are supposed to be when you look your best. I've given up now and just binge on everything. I find it so hard to lose weight and feel like theres no point now my 20s are nearly over.

Lonleygal · 31/03/2022 20:49

A sea of regrets , yes that’s exactly how I feel. Crap isn’t it Sad

Gotajobthrunepotism · 31/03/2022 20:54

Getting fat. And starting smoking

Mellowyellow222 · 31/03/2022 20:55

Allowing myself to get fat.

Wasting time on friends who don’t value me.

Chely · 31/03/2022 20:59

Being too nice and making effort with people unwilling to do the same.

Nowadays I'm a fuck them all type of person.

NRRK28 · 31/03/2022 21:03

Not taking medical school. I regret i don't be a doctor. Its my passion but i’m too busy playing with my friend. I’m 33yo now and waay too late to take meds school

UneFoisAuChalet · 31/03/2022 21:07

@peasoup8

Falling for the ‘natural birth is best’ rubbish, trusting the doctors and not absolutely insisting on a C-section. I still get upset today when I think of the trauma my baby must have gone through.
I’ve been thinking of that today after the Ockenden report. I had a traumatic first birth, fifteen days overdue, was only allowed in on the Friday to be induced because they had a free bed, heartbeat kept disappearing so my eyes were glued to the monitor, they stuck a needle in his head to check his oxygen levels, alarms went off and about ten people appeared in my room, they said I had to wait another hour before they considered a section and 36 hours later he was born by emergency section.

We were young and naive and didn’t really know the danger our baby was in. I think I blocked the entire thing. For the next two I took zero chances. Hearing similar stories today has humbled us. So fucking lucky we took home a healthy baby.

2me2u2u2me · 31/03/2022 21:08

@formalineadeline

Still being alive.
Please don’t say you mean that? Sad
Chonfox · 31/03/2022 21:12

A small thing I regret is not giving the DC my surname/double barrelling it with DHs. Though I kept my last name after marriage that was just for practical work reasons, I was no feminist. It really irks me now since I grew them and birthed them! particularly since I had minimal support during their early years while their dad was a workaholic and put practically zero effort in.

Which brings me to the big regret! I should have chose my children's father wiser. In my defense he talked the talk and was desperate for DC so I couldn't really have known, but now I think having a family was all just a status symbol for him. Something to talk about in the boardroom rather than a life he wanted to build together. He's better with them now they're school age but still not the wonderful dad they deserved and I'll never forgive him for those lonely early years when I walked around with a physical pain in my chest of heartbreak for my babies and for myself.

monarchoftheglen · 31/03/2022 21:14

Dropping out of university - I miss the city I lived in so much.

IBelieveInAThingCalledScience · 31/03/2022 21:15

No regrets, just some life lessons.

Like the song says:
"You win some, you learn some".

curlymom · 31/03/2022 21:17

@Gotajobthrunepotism

Getting fat. And starting smoking
Me too. You can deal with both x
Lovemusic33 · 31/03/2022 21:20

Probably having children 😬, I was far too young and it was with the wrong person. I love them to bits but they both have autism and I often feel trapped and lonely (being a single parent).

I also regret not travelling before having kids.

Pinkpigs · 31/03/2022 21:21

Children yes i said it i regret having children

Unicornspirit · 31/03/2022 21:23

I regret starting to smoke, still addicted and struggling to give up but I will.
Not saving money when I was younger so I could buy my own place.
Not joining the Air force.
Staying in the south east, its so bloody built up and expensive. Shoukd have moved years ago.

I'm 40 now and apparently that's when life begins so apart from the air force thing all the rest I'm making happen....slowly!