To move because dh inherited property?

[bowmejen3]

So I'm born and bred in Hackney. Met my husband here who is originally from south Manchester in one of the largest council estates In Europe apparently.

We've been married 10 years and have two children. (4 and 2 months)

We rent privately and was looking forward to getting on the shared ownership scheme this year! 4 year old settled in nursery waiting for reception etc! However DH has been very stressed and with rising living costs. We have not got much to spare each month after saving for our deposit.

Now here is my aibu.
Dh father recently died and left his house (ex council but bought) to dh. It has no mortgage left.

Dh thinks this is the best thing ever as we could move there (3 bed semi detached, big garden, driveway, extra room for washing etc)
Be mortgage free, near his family and have essentially more disposable income to enjoy life, holidays, other ventures etc.

I know I know it sounds perfect on paper... but I always envisioned raising my children in London but dh claims we are actually being selfish because potentially they will never be able to afford to live near us in the future and we may only ever own 25 percent of a flat!
And the area he is from has not got a great reputation...

I believe he could sell the house for around £240,000 (from Rightmove) and put it down for a deposit on a house in London!

Dh thinks I'm being ridiculous to want to not be mortgage free just for the sake of "London" and being snobby towards his childhood area? (Which I'm not)

Aibu?

I'm in agreement with OP about trying to sell the property and use the proceeds as a massive deposit to buy a property where you are now/somewhere close by

I was born and grew up in SE London, family & friends are here.

If my DH was in a similar situation & was proposing moving us to another part of the country miles away (albeit to live mortgage free) I would be very reluctant

If it were me, I would spend the next half term or family holiday living in the house in Machester to get a feel for it before committing to it.

Then if you can manage to live there, I wouldmove and start saving with a 3-5 year plan at which stage your savings and the sale of your house would allow you to buy mortgage free in a nicer area.

Or alternatively rent the property out and benefit from the rental income to add to your savings/do some nice things from time to time

Wythenshaw is on the up - really good schools nearby, lots to do. I'd move in a heartbeat - think of the space for your kids to be outside!

I too was going to suggest selling and moving to a nicer part of Manchester.

I think London is great IF you can afford to live in one of the nicer areas with good schools etc, have the money to make the most of it.

There is loads to do in Manchester too though.

We moved away from Surrey because we didn't have the benefit of living in London yet it was so expensive wasn't sure how the DC would ever afford to move out!

I’m with you. I wouldn’t move to Manchester. I’d never go anywhere up north, far too cold!

I’ve lived in London, loved it, one of my parents is also from London but I’d never want to live there permanently unless I had an abundance of disposable income. Even then I don’t think I would, far too overcrowded, not enough greenery and fresh air, also far too much crime for my liking.

I agree with your DH. We are currently in the process of making a similar decision, my heart wants to stay where we are I think it’s a great place to raise kids but financially we would never be able to live comfortably or ever be mortgage free, so we are moving back to the North West. The difference is both DH and I are originally from there, different parts, he’s closer to Manchester. We’ve also lived in other places, different cities in the uk including London and internationally so we’ve experienced different lifestyles. Moving back to the NW means we should be mortgage free by the time our youngest (4yo) is in high school, we will be able to afford decent holidays, save for our DCs future and hopefully have a comfortable retirement. I’d rather that than spend the rest of my life struggling financially like my parents did. We already own a house there, not where either of us are from, it’s 15 mins from beautiful beaches, lots of after school activities, there are even museum’s to visit, we are about an hour away from Manchester & Liverpool, I love Liverpool. Your kids will be able to hop on trains, buses or trams as teenagers in most places of the uk, just like you did it’s not exclusive to London, there is an entire world outside of London.

I think moving is a great idea. Being mortgage free is huge.

I think you need a couple of fact finding visits to look at the area and schools . No need to rush .

And the compromise is a good idea . Have a small mortgage and chose the area and schools ?

Your money will definitely go a lot further in that area.

@bowmejen3

Yes it's in wythenshawe, close to Northenden/Gatley..

The prices there are going up.. so that's an actual excellent suggestions to perhaps live there, sell the property and buy in a different area.

But to those who say they wouldn't raise their children in London, why?

I had a great childhood, went to school on the tube by 13. Went to museums most weekends. As a teenager, I was NEVER BORED. Always something new to explore.
Dh actually said he wish he was brought up here a few years ago as he was really bored in wythenshawe!

Your kids would never be bored in Manchester either. It's culture and activity is amazing.

(And I type that from Yorkshire)

God I miss Hackney!

Don't do it OP! The opportunities for DC in London are great.

I know Manchester is a thriving metropolitan city too, but Hackney has great schools these days. If the area he's from hasn't got a great reputation, what are the schools like there? Not brilliant I imagine.

If you get your foot on the property ladder in Hackney, prices will rise faster there than in the rest of the country (they always do in London) and you will be able to sell up at any point you want and move to Manchester.

You will be unlikely to be able to do it in the opposite direction. If you stick with a council house in a crappy area, it won't make much long term compared to a better investment elsewhere.

Plus, wages are MUCH better in London than up north.

Leaving Hackney was a disaster for me financially! I'd be bloody minted now if I'd held onto my Hackney flat. I'd be able to swap it for a bloody mansion in the rest of the country!

Instead I went for mortgage free in an ex council flat! Regret it now I didn't realise what a difference it would be as an investment.

Sell the Manchester flat. It doesn't mean you'll close the door on Manchester necessarily, you never know you might want to move there later on, but don't be bounced into living in an area you don't want to be in.

I brought my kids up in central London. One of the advantages was opportunities to develop their interests with others who were passionate on our door step, loads of people to meet who share your enthusiasm and interests. Never worried about stabbing because they weren’t in gangs and we’re always doing stuff

@TatianaBis

To compare provincial museums with the size and range of museums and galleries in London has is absurd. There is no comparison. Ditto theatre/dance/music.

Provincial museums in Manchester? Get real. London isn't the only important city in the UK. Plenty of "national level" museums in Manchester.

@Thighdentitycrisis

I brought my kids up in central London. One of the advantages was opportunities to develop their interests with others who were passionate on our door step, loads of people to meet who share your enthusiasm and interests. Never worried about stabbing because they weren’t in gangs and we’re always doing stuff

I know this thread has turned a bit divisive but honestly, you've just described Manchester. Maybe they're more similar than people realise barring the size and cost of living maybe.

@ChateauxNeufdePoop

For international level museums you need London.

Cf the post about Serpentine/Snowdonia. ^

I am from the north, lived in London for years and moved to Manchester thinking I’d be happier up north and we lasted 3 years. It was such a relief to move back to London, although we lived in a nice area of north London. I can’t believe the number of people talking about crime in London. I’m not sure how anyone can reasonably be worried about. There are pockets of crime but it’s a big cities. Manchester has a bad drug problem and violent burglaries and it’s much easier to travel from dodge areas to nice areas to cause trouble. I know more people whose cars have been taken by knife or gun in Manchester outside their houses than from anywhere. I now live on South coast and it’s fab and massively cheaper than London and I still get to go to London easily. I wouldn’t do it. Housing isn’t all about cost. It’s where you spend most of your time. You have to want to be there.

@woohoo54

I think moving is a great idea. Being mortgage free is huge.

I did this. I would have been better off financially staying in London with the higher wages and having my money invested in a property that was a better investment. By a lot!

I bought a property for £150k, on a council estate in a nice part of a small town. It's now worth £250k, just over a decade later. That's all equity.

But, I sold the flat in London for £250k (£150k equity). It sold recently for £700k. . Had I kept it, I would now have £550k equity, £300k more than I have now.

(Or maybe, say, £40k less, I can see they'd done a lot of work on that flat before selling it).

Plus, I've never managed to earn anywhere near what I earned in London. I doubled my wage in 5 years by being promoted in the City. Since leaving London I've never got near that salary again, despite working in jobs with more responsibility. My peers in London have continued getting pay rises and many double or even treble what I do now.

So, yes, mortgage free is nice. But it ain't THAT nice.

I’m not sure anyone who talks about ‘the provinces’ in any way other than taking the piss out of the attitude, is to be taken seriously.

Having grown up in Hackney before it was gentrified, and having visited Manchester council estates in less nice parts of town, I can tell you Manchester is a LOT more threatening, violence wise.

I wouldn’t do it. Housing isn’t all about cost. It’s where you spend most of your time. You have to want to be there.

Yes, this.

I'm with you OP, having been through similar.

Option 1 was buy a house outright, in our home country, in a place I didn't particularly want to live. But DH was adamant to be mortgage free.

Option 2 was move somewhere in our home country, near family but with a mortgage.

We did Option 1 much to my regret, was bloody miserable, and lo and behold we left after a year re-emigrated to the UK.

Had we done Option 2 we would probably still be there.

Was a big mistake, which I'll forever regret.

I think a lot of people buy the myth that salaries are only higher in London to allow for the higher cost of living, so that the take home money in your pocket is the same wherever you are.
That’s not true in a lot of industries, particularly finance and professional services. It’s not just “London weighting” it’s about more opportunity to do more lucrative work and progress further.

Not just about the house when children are involved. Being near extended family who are willing to help out and be a part of your children's lives is absolutely priceless.

I love where I live, though it's never going to be considered glamourous or exciting. But even if I won the lottery tomorrow I would not move away from our family, who bring so much more than "childcare" to the lives of my children.

@HaveringWavering

I think a lot of people buy the myth that salaries are only higher in London to allow for the higher cost of living, so that the take home money in your pocket is the same wherever you are. That’s not true in a lot of industries, particularly finance and professional services. It’s not just “London weighting” it’s about more opportunity to do more lucrative work and progress further.

Absolutely. One of my London friends was complaining to me how hard done by he and saying he's "not on a great salary". But I know, he's earning at least £50k as a middle manager.

I also know, (although he won't admit it) that his real problem is that his wife earns about double that!

He has no idea how lucky they are. Our combined household wage for both me and DH is significantly less than his single wage.

There just aren't jobs like that where I am unless you're the CEO or the head teacher of a secondary school or something else with a shit tonne of responsibility.

@ChateauxNeufDePoop

The university of Manchester and Salford museums are great including the Witworth gallery. It was all re-done a few years back.

The science museums are much more current than the those we experienced in London.

Not to mention other major cities near by such as Liverpool and the museums there.

London really is not the only place on earth.