To move because dh inherited property?

[bowmejen3]

So I'm born and bred in Hackney. Met my husband here who is originally from south Manchester in one of the largest council estates In Europe apparently.

We've been married 10 years and have two children. (4 and 2 months)

We rent privately and was looking forward to getting on the shared ownership scheme this year! 4 year old settled in nursery waiting for reception etc! However DH has been very stressed and with rising living costs. We have not got much to spare each month after saving for our deposit.

Now here is my aibu.
Dh father recently died and left his house (ex council but bought) to dh. It has no mortgage left.

Dh thinks this is the best thing ever as we could move there (3 bed semi detached, big garden, driveway, extra room for washing etc)
Be mortgage free, near his family and have essentially more disposable income to enjoy life, holidays, other ventures etc.

I know I know it sounds perfect on paper... but I always envisioned raising my children in London but dh claims we are actually being selfish because potentially they will never be able to afford to live near us in the future and we may only ever own 25 percent of a flat!
And the area he is from has not got a great reputation...

I believe he could sell the house for around £240,000 (from Rightmove) and put it down for a deposit on a house in London!

Dh thinks I'm being ridiculous to want to not be mortgage free just for the sake of "London" and being snobby towards his childhood area? (Which I'm not)

Aibu?

How about neither, sell up and move to the seaside or something

I would also prefer to raise children in London. I think uprooting your family to an area you don’t like and is so far away from your current family and friends would be hard and may make you resentful. London is an excellent place to raise children, it’s so green and so much to do.

Wythenshawe is one of the most deprived crime ridden area in the country. Do some research before you even consider moving. Have you ever actually been there?

I’m team DH - but what I’d probably do is sell the house and then move to nice part of Manchester

I agree.

I think being mortgage free or even having a mortgage but a big lovely house is going to improve your life so much, which you’ll get more for your money in Manchester or Birmingham.
It doesn’t really matter where you are.

@ShittyFingers

I’m team DH - but what I’d probably do is sell the house and then move to nice part of Manchester

I wouldn’t live in London if I was paid to though

my thoughts straight away, I would get a nice place in the NW and be comfortable. Living mortgage free is the ultimate

@bowmejen3

Yes it's in wythenshawe, close to Northenden/Gatley..

The prices there are going up.. so that's an actual excellent suggestions to perhaps live there, sell the property and buy in a different area.

But to those who say they wouldn't raise their children in London, why?

I had a great childhood, went to school on the tube by 13. Went to museums most weekends. As a teenager, I was NEVER BORED. Always something new to explore.
Dh actually said he wish he was brought up here a few years ago as he was really bored in wythenshawe!

I was bred in Hackney - born in Islington but most of my childhood in Hackney - and I agree, it's a great place to grow up. Well, it was a bit of a rough place to grow up but like you I was independent from a young age with going to school etc and my brother and I used to get a Red Rover (really showing my age here) every weekend and go around different museums.

That said, this is a huge opportunity. Even if you sell the house and use the money to buy somewhere in London you'll have a huge mortgage and won't be able to buy anything like a three bed unless you move to the outer boroughs and then you're missing out on the convenience of the inner city anyway. In Manchester you can be mortgage free, it's a great city, full of culture for the kids, different to London but not worse. I understand that this is difficult for you but I think you really need to consider it.

Really hard to advise without knowing what the impact would be on your jobs/careers. For me, that is the big differentiator between living in London vs Manchester (I have lived in both). Much better opportunities in London. But that is specific to my industry.

@bowmejen3

Yes it's in wythenshawe, close to Northenden/Gatley..

The prices there are going up.. so that's an actual excellent suggestions to perhaps live there, sell the property and buy in a different area.

But to those who say they wouldn't raise their children in London, why?

I had a great childhood, went to school on the tube by 13. Went to museums most weekends. As a teenager, I was NEVER BORED. Always something new to explore.
Dh actually said he wish he was brought up here a few years ago as he was really bored in wythenshawe!

You know we have museums up North to right? Art galleries and a range of historic buildings too.

In your shoes I’d sell and move somewhere else in the North if you don’t like where your DH is from. I’d much rather give my children the financial help that a small/no mortgage would mean than be on a tube line.

Sell the house, buy what you want, where you both want.

Being dictated to about your future and your DCs' upbringing, by where your DH's Dad happened to live, is ridiculous.

Even if you do want to move to Manchester, you work out what you want, what you can afford and move accordingly.

You need to separate the money / value of house, from the decision about where you live and raise your DCs. They're two totally separate things.

I'm from Manchester and DH is from London.
I'd love to live in London but our quality of life would be awful, its just work, work, work to pay extortionate rents/mortgages.There are some great areas of Manc but Whythenshaw isn't one of them.
I would take a mortgage of around £250k and buy a £500k house out in Knutsford, or Altrincham.

If you are close to getting into a shared ownership in London and your kids are settled then stay where you are and either sell the house or rent it out to someone else and use the rental income towards your mortgage.

Keep your options open - you can always move there later, but no, you don't have to move to a house that you've inherited.

Manchester is such a versatile place and if you decided to sell, you could buy elsewhere with a very small mortgage. There are lovely rural areas only a short way out of Manchester. You're also not far from the Peak District, Lancashire, Merseyside. Your money could go a long way and without a huge and all-consuming mortgage, you would be able to make choices in your life instead of being completely tethered to a financial commitment. for very little long-term gain.

Yeah, gotta say I agree with your husband.

@britneyisfree

I wouldn't move to a shitty part of Manchester no. I wouldn't move up there full stop - born and bred Londoner and though I live in Surrey now I wouldn't move that far, free house or not.

Born and bred Londoner here too - moved to Leeds last year and don’t regret it for a second!

@AndTime

I would move to the house for a year while you get settled in new jobs and then sell it and move to a nicer part of Manchester.

I thought Wythenshawe but a house worth 240k, surely not?!

Trouble is people think wythenshawe, shameless, rough etc…..

Just like I do when people say areas of London etc…

However there are nice areas in wythenshawe, I’m biased…because I live there but my house in wythenshawe is worth more thank 240k and houses on my round sell for 300-450k, because it’s nice, 30-40 mins to Manchester centre, some very good schools near by, Catchment to other areas of high schools. I can move to the ‘nicer’ areas but living so close to them, can’t see the desire to be honest

Those on team dh obvs don't know Wythenshawe

On this basis alone, YANBU. I'd be wanting to sell the house and buy somewhere nicer (probably neither in Manchester nor London!).

If he wants to move up North look at Altrincham and Timperly great schools, restaurants and cafe vibe. National Trust sites on your doorstep you can get a lovely house with a small mortgage.

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/119510792#/?channel=RES_BUY

I'm from Hackney too.
What are the advantages of bringing your children up in London?
On the face of it, from what you've said, I think living in your DH's inherited house in Manchester is your best bet.

I am a Londoner born and bred. I know the North also, lived there for 3 years in a big town.

Just to add some balance - I hated living in the North. It was ALWAYS raining. There is just... more.... rain! And it was cold. And life just felt less exciting.

I would never want to move out of London for the North. No way.

Wild horses wouldn't drag me up to Manchester or any part of England that way. Not in a million years.

The only thing is, I can see why your DH thinks like he does. It's a very hard decision.

The alternative is to rent out your DH's Dad's property and use the rent to pay some of your rent maybe?

Then he's not wasting the property and it keeps his options open and yours for a bit longer while you think about it.

And if you do want to leave and go to Manchester, I'd suggest renting up there first for 6 months, just to check you do want to move. Nothing worse than buying a house and then deciding you can't live in that place...

I would have a compromise, in that I would think about renting the Manchester property out and use the income from that to supplement your life in London. You could even put part of it away for a deposit on another place in the future.

Then you have an income and equity building up in the house in Manchester.

You don't have to make any decision straight away do you? I'm sorry but I have to disagree with those talking down London. It's a fabulous city for youngsters so much to do and so many opportunities.

Live your best life Hackney Girl, walking in Victoria Park on a Sunday is beautiful and it doesn't rain as much as it does up north 😉

Hello @Blossomtoes

London has more museums obviously, some of them greatly inferior to those in other cities. A West End play is exactly the same whether you see it in London or another city.

It absolutely is not! A film, probably (depending on the auditorium) but not a theatrical production. And even ignoring that London has every West End show on every night in ... the West End! And hundreds of other theatrical events that are, to be honest, often much more innovative and of much more interest to theatre lovers than West End shows. (That's before we start thinking about galleries and museums.)

If you want to do battle with London I would not suggest choosing this as your battleground!

London is a global city beyond compare.
I'd say you can count on the fingers of one hand the cities worldwide that can hold a candle to London in terms of history, culture, everything like that. (Hint:Manchester is not one of them).

But the question is whether those things are worth paying probably £1k a month extra for to the OP and her family.

I love London, grew up there, would love to afford to move back. DH and I have looked into it, and the salaries we would need to have a comparable quality of life in London are jaw dropping.
I personally prefer to live 3 hours away and just visit a few times a year.

Manchester is a great, vibrant city in its own right. It's not London, but in the OP's situation it has a lot going for it.

@Daphodils

Hello *@Blossomtoes*

London has more museums obviously, some of them greatly inferior to those in other cities. A West End play is exactly the same whether you see it in London or another city.

It absolutely is not! A film, probably (depending on the auditorium) but not a theatrical production. And even ignoring that London has every West End show on every night in ... the West End! And hundreds of other theatrical events that are, to be honest, often much more innovative and of much more interest to theatre lovers than West End shows. (That's before we start thinking about galleries and museums.)

If you want to do battle with London I would not suggest choosing this as your battleground!

Yup. Also the touring casts of many musicals are not as high calibre as the West End ones.

It absolutely is not!

I think you’ll find it is. The only variation is the venue. Same words, same cast, same scenery, same costumes. Of course the price of drinks in the interval is about half.

I’ve already acknowledged that London is superior in quantity.

@Talk4000 So you lived in a different Northern town for 3 years. One place in "The North"
And based on this you have written off the whole of the North (it's a very large and diverse place you know...)
You have also specifically written of Manchester despite seemingly never living there....
It's a bit like someone saying The South is dreadful as one ubiquitous whole.