To move because dh inherited property?

[bowmejen3]

So I'm born and bred in Hackney. Met my husband here who is originally from south Manchester in one of the largest council estates In Europe apparently.

We've been married 10 years and have two children. (4 and 2 months)

We rent privately and was looking forward to getting on the shared ownership scheme this year! 4 year old settled in nursery waiting for reception etc! However DH has been very stressed and with rising living costs. We have not got much to spare each month after saving for our deposit.

Now here is my aibu.
Dh father recently died and left his house (ex council but bought) to dh. It has no mortgage left.

Dh thinks this is the best thing ever as we could move there (3 bed semi detached, big garden, driveway, extra room for washing etc)
Be mortgage free, near his family and have essentially more disposable income to enjoy life, holidays, other ventures etc.

I know I know it sounds perfect on paper... but I always envisioned raising my children in London but dh claims we are actually being selfish because potentially they will never be able to afford to live near us in the future and we may only ever own 25 percent of a flat!
And the area he is from has not got a great reputation...

I believe he could sell the house for around £240,000 (from Rightmove) and put it down for a deposit on a house in London!

Dh thinks I'm being ridiculous to want to not be mortgage free just for the sake of "London" and being snobby towards his childhood area? (Which I'm not)

Aibu?

Lived in both London and Manchester both have scummy and amazing areas.

Personally I would prefer mortgage free in a bigger property. The great thing about Wythenshawe is that it's on the tram and it's next to Altrincham and Hale so there will be gentrification as people will be priced out of those areas (London prices)

I'm team DH, you couldnt pay me to live in london... a day trip there is hell enough.

Not only does london seem awful from my bias outside perspective (of someone who grew up on a 'council estate up north' but with sunshine, actual space and money left over to afford other nice things etc... + tonnes of beautiful history, arcitecture and tourist things, not only London has those lol) but also it finacially stupid.

I can never wrap my head around why someone would ever live in a shoe box somewhere that cost everything they have and to forever worry about money... hell, the garden of eden would commision prices as ridiculous as london.

I am also East London born and bred, living in a shared ownership property the other side of Vicky Park from Hackney, hi neighbour :-)
Why does the choice have to be shared ownership in Hackney or live in the inherited house? Surely there are multiple other options in between the two? My thoughts

• I don't think I could live in a property inherited from a relative, I would always think of it as "their" home.
• You obviously don't like the area it's in, so don't live there.
• London is an amazing place to grow up! So much for kids to see and do, it's multicultural, everything is easily accessed, great transport links within london and out of it.
• You said DH complains that you will only ever own 25% of a shared ownership, but if you sold that house and used it as a deposit you would be buying way more than 25%. Depending on your salaries combined with the house sale, you might not even need shared ownership.
• If it was me, I would sell the house and use the money towards a property either where you are or further east (Wanstead? Snaresbrook?).

He might find it upsetting to move into a parent's house.

Can you all go and stay there at half term to see how it goes, and perhaps at Easter. Then decide?

I grew up in Wythenshawe and my mum still lives there. Try it out. There's great employment opportunities for your children at the airport, hospitals and city centre. I had no problems. Graduated from university and have a good job now.

Personally I would prefer mortgage free in a bigger property. The great thing about Wythenshawe is that it's on the tram and it's next to Altrincham and Hale so there will be gentrification as people will be priced out of those areas (London prices)

this^

We've been mortgage free for almost 20 years now thanks to a quirk of fate (not inheritance)

It's transformative in life style terms and not something to be given up lightly. We've had a lovely lifestyle with generous disposable income and rock solid security. We can help our dc through University and are looking at semi-retirement by mid 50s.

I agree with previous suggestions to sell the house and buy somewhere acceptable to both of you with zero or v small mortgage.

Same background as you OP, I did move out eventually (only half hour away) but I'm with you on this, especially now. I would stay put, or even move out slightly.

Like you say born and raised, you know how great it can be and not think everything is scary and dirty. I have visited Manchester many times mainly around the centre and enjoyed it. So maybe entertain the idea and go visit because you never know, you might like it.

Flyinggeese1234

Christ I only meant the people who came and covered over the hate messages sounded like good people

I'm with team DH. I worked in Wythenshawe for 4 years and there are some fabulous people there. Yes, some bits aren't great, but that's the same anywhere.

When your DH grew up, the tram didn't go to the Airport so the only way to get into Manchester was by bus. The route in goes through the most grotty bits (or they were in the 1990s) and most of the kids I taught were scared of the Moss Side gangs. The tram goes a different way and is fine.

I relocated to Devon for love and work. The love has endured and the job has morphed into other good work but I am sick of living in a shit hole with stupid people, crap rural broadband, no culture and no public transport. As soon as I can persuade DH, I'm off back to Manchester. My grown up DDs didn't want to go to uni in Manchester but both absolutely love the place now and would happily come with me.

Personally I would want to be within striking distance of a Metrolink stop, but that's because I lived a 5 minute walk from one. It's really convenient for getting into the city. It's also really cheap, especially when compared to the terrible bus in Devon. You can wheel prams/buggies straight on.

OP, you won't know until you try. Why not give it a couple of years in DH's house? You'll be saving money on rent. Treat it as a gap-2-years. Try to be open minded and see what you can find out about the place. Get the house how you like it - then it would be easier to sell. At the end of the 2 years, get it valued and make your decision.

I would go to Manchester in the house for a year or so and save up whatever you would be paying in rent. Once you have a nice little nest egg behind you and the asset of a house, I'd sell the house and move to a nicer, more long term area in either London or Manc. You may feel more open to being up north once you've experienced it and found a nicer area you prefer. ATM I imagine it feels like a foreign country!

But one thing to keep in mind. It can be very lonely to move to a different city where one person has ties and the other doesn't.

To a waaayyyy lesser extent, I moved from a big city to a small town about 40 minutes away by car (crap bus and train links to city). DH knows everyone. We can't go our for drinks or food shopping without bumping into someone he either went to school with, someone who he played sports with or knew his siblings growing up. It's very odd for me and I often feel like a spare part when he gets chatting to someone. I have made my own links there now but I'm still regarded as a newbie.

I imagine moving across the country to their home town would be even more isolating to begin with which can make it difficult to enjoy the area.

Lived in both and brought children up in London, and it was and is wonderful!

I think most of the people saying they would never bring their children up there have no idea of what living in London with children actually looks like, just how much there is to do and see (and for free), how good the schools are (look at the results), the opportunities when they are older.

I wouldn't contemplate living in the other house. I would sell it and put the money towards buying where you both agree is the best place to live.

But to those who say they wouldn't raise their children in London, why?

The rate of stabbings alone is terrifying. Im a converted city dweller and I love where I am. The idea of raising kids in the countryside fills me with horror, even though I grew up in a rural area. But London? Nope.

@SartresSoul haha no I don’t. However I grew up and live in a council flat now and it’s not the end of the world. Surely it can’t be the end of the world living on a council estate mortgage free???

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing

Flyinggeese1234

Christ I only meant the people who came and covered over the hate messages sounded like good people

OK I definitely agree with you there. I just gave no idea what that has to do with moving to Wythenshawe!

I personally would whack the Manchester house on the market, and while that is selling sort out between you where you want to live.

I'd pop a few grand in a personal pension for each of you. (It will instantly grow with tax relief, and has time to grow quite a bit to be there for you before your state and other pensions kick in later, when you may well need it).

I'd put aside a few thousand for emergency expenses, if you don't currently have a pot.

Then I'd use the majority as a deposit on a nice house somewhere you fancy near good schools. I personally would take out a decent sized mortgage on a 10 year fixed rate, as it looks as if hefty inflation is coming along, which could quickly erode the true value of the mortgage outstanding.

But that's me. You need to talk to your husband, do some research (could be great fun!) and decide where you both want to live. I'd say extend your search area, both of you. 😊

Sorry op but I would be with your husband on this one. But then I moved away from london because it was better for my family so I am biased.

YANBU - the greatest gift I gave my children was bringing them up in London. But reversing what someone else said, you couldn’t pay me enough to move to Manchester!

@ElaineMarieBenes what do you feel they’ve gained by growing up in London?

Not being goady, just a genuine question.

Sorry just seen another. I grew up in london. The area was growing rapidly, services stretched, expensive to live, green spaces disappearing, schools oversubscribed, violent crime on the rise - kids being stabbed left right and centre - including someone I knew. I go and visit my mum there still occasionally and I have not regretted moving once. I have a 4 year old and it wasn't where I wanted her to grow up too.

No brainier. Manchester house. London isn't that special. Isn't worth the house prices.

@Blossomtoes

It’s silly to not take advantage of crazy low mortgage rates!!

Crazy low mortgage rates that are only going one way. Shocking advice when you have the opportunity to be mortgage free.

You can fix for the life of the mortgage at 3.5%. That's an absolute bargain, and very secure indeed. We don't know how much borrowing power they have, but repayments on a loan of £200k would be £1,000 a month over 25 years. With their deposit they can easily buy a three-bed terrace in London for that, and have the advantage of London salaries and raising their kids in London. I'd definitely go for that.

Manchester’s a great city too! Sell it and buy somewhere you like better

The reasons I am glad I no longer live in London despite growing up there...

• everything is more expensive there except maybe buses
• traffic
• being able to breathe
• space

Good schools... exist out of London. Museums... exist out of London. Theatre... exists and is cheaper. Public transport... exists. We have airports. Zoos. Countryside. Diversity...

I know lots of people who love it there. Good for them. But its not the only place on the Country.

I'm sure some of you would hate the occasional agricultural smells and lack of Eurostar for example (that is one thing that can't be replicated.. direct quick access to the Continent.). And there is less high flying jobs here.

To me - I wouldn't move to Manchester as whenever I've been there the people were unfriendly and scathing about me as a Londoner, a few years back though!

Having said that my sister and a close friend lived there for a while before moving down south and a friend from school lives in Yorkshire with her DH no kids.

I'd go for a house mortgage free or smaller mortgage either just outside London like eg Bedford or Manchester area - don't know the outskirts too much.

DB lives in Hackney and it's nice on paper, actually quite pretty but it's noisy and you're very much cheek by jowl with rougher areas. They're planning to move, would love to stay but need jackpot to afford the house they want there.

and yes, stay away from shared ownership - used to work for solicitor and he warned people off them where he could, total rip off.