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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

not wanted on his facebook.......

82 replies

aquamarine2 · 11/02/2022 10:12

I was with my partner the other evening and as usual he was on facebook. I made the comment that he seemed to have many women 'friends' on this site but wondered why I wasnt one of them. He turned to me and said " I dont want you on my facebook". I am really upset by this, not because I want to be on there, but rather his response. I dont know why this has got me so much but it really has.

OP posts:
PearPickingPorky · 11/02/2022 10:14

It depends on his reason.

Did you ask him why?

Theredtoyphone · 11/02/2022 10:17

Did he give an explanation?

Calling someone a partner suggests a relationship as opposed to just dating to me.. how long have you been together?

Original poster
aquamarine2 · 11/02/2022 10:17

He just said he didnt. Period.

OP posts:
Original poster
aquamarine2 · 11/02/2022 10:19

15 years

OP posts:
GiantSpider · 11/02/2022 10:19

He doesn't sound very nice.

AllOfUsAreDead · 11/02/2022 10:21

He doesn't want you on there because then his other women might realise he's not single.

Opaljewel · 11/02/2022 10:23

Your reply should be "That's fine. I don't want you in my life then. "15 years and you get that? Dodgy as hell.

cheekychaplin · 11/02/2022 10:24

After 15 years together you should have a good idea of whether or not this is the man for you. Based on his blunt response I would say he doesn't give a toss about you or how you feel, but the bigger picture may not be the same.

BatshitBanshee · 11/02/2022 10:24

@AllOfUsAreDead

He doesn't want you on there because then his other women might realise he's not single.
Yes, this. And after 15 years?? Get rid OP.
Gowithme · 11/02/2022 10:29

I thought you were going to say 5 months - 15 years?? He wants the world to think he's single. Fuck that shit.

Anniegetyourgun76 · 11/02/2022 10:30

Whatever his reason is it won't be good 💐

T00Ts · 11/02/2022 10:31

Well he sounds shit and shady.

Shoxfordian · 11/02/2022 10:32

15 years?!

I’m guessing this isn’t the only bright red flag

ClawedButler · 11/02/2022 10:34

Fine if he has a lot of female friends. But NOT fine at all to block you out. If they're just friends, why hide it? Does he have a different persona on Facebook where he's single?

If he's just super private, then why be needlessly nasty. And why be super private with his partner of 15 years, and not private with a bunch of randos online.

OmgIThinkILikeYou · 11/02/2022 10:35

Are you not friends on it or has he not got you as his 'in a relationships status?

The first I would be really pissed off, the second wouldn't bother me. 10 years with dp and think it still says single on mine. I'm not a fb sharer, there's no mention of my actual life/kid/dp anywhere on my fb

ilovemybeachhut · 11/02/2022 10:37

If a friend confided this to you about her partner you would prpbably be asking 'tbh why are you with him?'
Any dc? mortgaged / renting? What ties are there?

GreggsDoVitalWork · 11/02/2022 10:40

If he doesn’t want you “on his Facebook” after 15 years he’s hiding stuff. Literally no other reason.

It may not be super terrible stuff, but it’s obviously weird.

Original poster
aquamarine2 · 11/02/2022 10:41

status single. He doesnt want me as his friend on FB. No kids. house mine.

OP posts:
MinnieGirl · 11/02/2022 10:44

Throw him out.
He’s taking the piss….

Teaforme123 · 11/02/2022 10:46

He's absolutely taking the piss! Get rid don't put up with that shit! He's pretending he's single and hiding stuff from you, that's not ok!

Ohsugarhoneyicetea · 11/02/2022 10:50

If you were on it you would be able to see what he is up to, and he doesn't want you to know what he is up to. How do you feel about that?

Ponoka7 · 11/02/2022 10:50

He's at least getting wank fodder on there. I'm not on my bf FB, but I'm happy with that because I don't agree with/like some of his friends sense of humour and the rest is football chatter. He barely uses his though.

Peanut82 · 11/02/2022 10:50

You've been together 15 years and he won't add you on social media? Red flags all over this one OP!
Have you met his family/friends? Do they know he's not single?

thenewduchessoflapland · 11/02/2022 10:50

15 years together,you're not on his SM,he's listed as single and has lots of female FB friends?

I wouldn't be surprised if he's currently or has cheated on you and is planning to do so again.

That absolutely shouldn't wash with anyone.He seems like a dick.

Do you live together?

Thisfridaysadhdaccount · 11/02/2022 10:51

15 yrs????

What people put up with on this site never fails to shock me.