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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

£60 school fine for absence even if documented abuse?

99 replies

Hadharra · 10/02/2022 16:45

Just out of curiosity. My son is only 3 but his father doesn't see him and only has indirect contact (court ordered). If my son were to be in school, I take him out for a two week holiday, would my ex partner (son's dad) also get a £60 fine if one were issued? Or could I offer to pay it myself? This kind of shit terrifies me!

OP posts:
SartresSoul · 10/02/2022 16:47

No you wouldn’t both get fined, only you would because you’re the RP and you took him out of school.

DdraigGoch · 10/02/2022 16:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Hadharra · 10/02/2022 16:47

@SartresSoul

No you wouldn’t both get fined, only you would because you’re the RP and you took him out of school.
So fines only go to parent the child resides with?
OP posts:
Original poster
Hadharra · 10/02/2022 16:48

@DdraigGoch

I'm missing something here, if he's only three he doesn't need to be in school, does he?
Hence the just out of curiosity bit. Abusive exes make you ponder on these things a lot.
OP posts:
BertieQueen · 10/02/2022 16:48

Taken my son out many times for a holiday over the years and only I have ever got the fine.

We are no contact but he has PR.

Original poster
Hadharra · 10/02/2022 16:49

@BertieQueen

Taken my son out many times for a holiday over the years and only I have ever got the fine.

We are no contact but he has PR.

I'm in same situation. OK thats good to know. These things make me feel sick even thinking about them.
OP posts:
BertieQueen · 10/02/2022 16:52

Flowers I use to feel like that but we have got round any problems that occurred easily enough.

I have never put him on any school records.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 10/02/2022 16:54

I think you'd be okay if you never put him on any school information - just sign him up as a lone parent :)

Please don't worry, schools with have protocols for situations like this!

RedCandyApple · 10/02/2022 17:21

Nope, my kids dad is absent and the school have never contacted him ever.

TankFlyBoss · 10/02/2022 17:30

Education welfare officer here. You won't be fined at all because at 3 your son is not of compulsory school age

McScreamysGhostPants · 10/02/2022 17:32

Where we live it's anybody that is down as emergency contacts AND a parent or resident cared. So both biological parents and potentially both step parents if they are listed as contacts.

So I only list the resident parent and then have my sister and mum as emergency contacts. I've only ever had one fine. You also can't be fixed until your kid is legally required to be in school so the first September after they turn five if I remember right. Also, in our area it's ten unauthorised half days per term that triggers a fine. So if we take the kids out we often do it just a few days before the end of term. Cheaper prices and no fine. But this all does vary depending on county .

SomeFuckingWizardry · 10/02/2022 18:41

@TankFlyBoss

Education welfare officer here. You won't be fined at all because at 3 your son is not of compulsory school age
I think she is only asking hypothetically in the context of if this scenario ever comes up and it were possible the ex also got a fine he might then know the child's school and be able to find them.
Headteacher415 · 11/02/2022 07:02

You may not need to declare father as having PR seek advice on that. School should not fine him under these circumstances as safeguarding more important than attendance penalties. It must be very very clear to them from the outset so that the person refering for a fine doesn't include this info (include it on the holiday request). However also I'd flag that your child is 3 and you are already expecting to be taking them out of school in two years time which isn't good!

tttigress · 11/02/2022 07:11

Interesting, so is a £60 fine just seen as "the part of doing business", if you want to take your child out of school for a holiday?

Original poster
Hadharra · 11/02/2022 07:53

@Headteacher415

You may not need to declare father as having PR seek advice on that. School should not fine him under these circumstances as safeguarding more important than attendance penalties. It must be very very clear to them from the outset so that the person refering for a fine doesn't include this info (include it on the holiday request). However also I'd flag that your child is 3 and you are already expecting to be taking them out of school in two years time which isn't good!
I was taken out of school for 5 weeks every year and have a bsc, two MSc and and a PhD. I also speak Spanish fluently and this was helped by going away to Spain twice a year to visit family who we couldn't afford to see in school holidays. Taking a 5 year old out of school for a couple of weeks to see his family and experience a different culture is going to be extremely beneficial to his upbringing, his identity and his language skills. Any teacher who thinks otherwise knows nothing about child development and education (which is what one of my MSc theses was based on) and needs to do some research (or not jump to immediate conclusions about why someone might be taking their child out of school).
OP posts:
Original poster
Hadharra · 11/02/2022 08:35

@tttigress

Interesting, so is a £60 fine just seen as "the part of doing business", if you want to take your child out of school for a holiday?
Pretty much. Though we would be visiting family in Spain and enriching his Spanish speaking skills but speaking to him only in Spanish! So definitely worth it
OP posts:
toomuchlaundry · 11/02/2022 08:47

So why can’t you go in the school holidays if you are staying with family?

Original poster
Hadharra · 11/02/2022 08:55

@toomuchlaundry

So why can’t you go in the school holidays if you are staying with family?
Visiting, not staying with. They don't have space for us to stay as they are already crowded in a tiny apartment. I'm a lone parent and have very little money. Flights and accommodation cost a fortune in the holidays. Depressing that anyone thinks a 5 year old being out of school for two weeks to visit their grandparents is going to hurt them in any way.
OP posts:
Goawayangryman · 11/02/2022 08:58

Neither of you will receive a fine because your child is below statutory school age.

Original poster
Hadharra · 11/02/2022 08:59

@Goawayangryman

Neither of you will receive a fine because your child is below statutory school age.
RTFT
OP posts:
Original poster
Hadharra · 11/02/2022 09:00

I'm talking about when my child goes to school at 5, obviously.

OP posts:
toomuchlaundry · 11/02/2022 09:02

Seems a shame you did all those qualifications and you are on a low income

Original poster
Hadharra · 11/02/2022 09:03

@toomuchlaundry

Seems a shame you did all those qualifications and you are on a low income
Yeah thanks for reminding me.
OP posts:
Im2022 · 11/02/2022 09:08

Why do idiots have to come on threads like this and try to be smartarses?

To make it easier to understand: OP is pondering what would happen if she took her child out of school for 2 weeks once the child is in school in the future. She’s well aware her child is 3.

Taking a 5-12 year old child out of school for 2 weeks isn’t going to ruin their education and set them off on a life of drink/drugs and unemployment.

I haven’t had to pay a fine yet, as our primary school was great, but am bracing to pay fines for dd in secondary school. Yes, it’s part of business now. I’m not going to pay extortionate prices for tickets to go and visit family. Only those who have relatives abroad seem to understand this.

BertieQueen · 11/02/2022 09:09

@toomuchlaundry

Seems a shame you did all those qualifications and you are on a low income
Really no need for such comments, did that really make you feel better? What a horrible person.