£60 school fine for absence even if documented abuse?

[Hadharra]

Just out of curiosity. My son is only 3 but his father doesn't see him and only has indirect contact (court ordered). If my son were to be in school, I take him out for a two week holiday, would my ex partner (son's dad) also get a £60 fine if one were issued? Or could I offer to pay it myself? This kind of shit terrifies me!

Just don’t put him on any of the school paperwork, and then he will never know.

Also, just tell the school that your child is going to be educated elsewhere doing intensive language focused work for the time you are away. You are allowed to take kids out of school for education elsewhere, and speaking as a parent to bilingual children, I understand just how valuable to the language development spending time in the relevant country can be.

One thing to be careful of though, is that if you just disappear with your kids for two weeks, there are some schools that will threaten to take your child off the roll. Although one school did try this with a friend of mine, until she pointed out that the school was undersubscribed and the classes were not full, so she would just reapply and get put straight back in. She told him that they might want to save themselves the paperwork (and ultimately the school did nothing).

I know, it's just a comment on the internet but honestly I'm having a shit day, trying to do my best, trying to stay afloat and keep my child happy and healthy. That comment was like a kick in the gut.

@Headteacher415
However also I'd flag that your child is 3 and you are already expecting to be taking them out of school in two years time which isn't good!

You're pretty narrow minded then.

2 weeks out of school at primary age for good reasons, visiting family, new experiences is usually beneficial.
I allowed my ds to fly to Egypt with his dgf, I took my dd on a narrow boat holiday.
The things dc learn are often not taught in the classroom.
My dd on a narrow boat learned physics at the locks, geography and history on the route, nature from the canal bank, English by writing notes each day and maths every night in the pub adding up our bill!
And she got physical exercise all day.

Thank you Bertie. That was a really hurtful comment. Especially to a lone parent who is trying to keep her head above water. I'm trying.

@toomuchlaundry

Seems a shame you did all those qualifications and you are on a low income

How unnecessary

@Hadharra

I know, it's just a comment on the internet but honestly I'm having a shit day, trying to do my best, trying to stay afloat and keep my child happy and healthy. That comment was like a kick in the gut.

Ignore. There are so many pp's on here obsessed with qualifications and wages. Live in the present. Quality of life is so important. There's nothing fun about being stuck in a classroom following a shit curriculum when you could be learning a new language, experiencing a different culture, smell, taste and the heat of the sun and the amazing light. When Van Gogh went to Provence his paintings changed because of the sun.

Can I just add, yes I have done a lot of study. Did I do it for money? No. Is my thesis being used to help end violence against women and girls? Yes. It is. So yeah I might be on a low income but my god it feels good to know that I am helping to prevent women from being abused like I was. Not everyone does everything for money. I studied out of passion.

@Hadharra

Thank you Bertie. That was a really hurtful comment. Especially to a lone parent who is trying to keep her head above water. I'm trying.

Honestly I’m exactly the same my lovely it’s hard out there but it will get easier.

Ignore comments like that and any others, don’t give them the attention they want. Sad women sitting behind her screen because really she is unhappy with herself.

@BertieQueen your last comment was like a hug across the Internet. Thank you!

I had 50% attendance throughout my first 4 years of primary school due to repeated tonsillitis - so nothing as beneficial as seeing family members, or learning new cultures and languages, I was simply too unwell to be in school and thankfully still did very at well at school and was the highest achiever in my school when I left in year 11. So a few weeks out school at primary age is unlikely to detrimental to a child's education and its really unfair to be judging the OP for this. The fact is that school holidays are extortionate, and for a lot of families that means their only option is to go during term time because even with the fine it is far, far cheaper than waiting for school holidays. My mum is a teacher which meant I never got to experience a holiday with her, ever. I was lucky that my dad could take me on holiday occasionally and so I did experience some holidays abroad but had he not been involved I never would have had those experiences and I would have missed out on some really educational experiences that actually benefitted me in various ways.

Good on you for being a great mum and a smart one too.

@toomuchlaundry

Seems a shame you did all those qualifications and you are on a low income

What is wrong with you? What a horrible mean comment.

@toomuchlaundry Christ, what a delight you are. How awful of you to say such a nasty comment needlessly.

[quote DaimDillyDoo]@toomuchlaundry Christ, what a delight you are. How awful of you to say such a nasty comment needlessly. [/quote]
Actual bullying

It's honestly like something my abusive ex partner would have said to me.

If he has pr you will need his permission or a court order to leave the country

@Theunamedcat

If he has pr you will need his permission or a court order to leave the country

I already have a court order 😊

I took my daughter out to go to Disney for a fortnight and her dad didn’t get a fine. Its a £60 fine per adult in the household and her dad isn’t part of the household. I got abuse on here for taking her out for 2 weeks in year 6 before her sats. I took her out because she’d gone through a year of tutoring and spent her summer revising and doing 11 plus exams, and had already been placed in the top girls school in the country. And she’s got an engraved shield sat on the mantle piece for having the highest sats results ever achieved in her school, despite everyone on here guaranteeing me she was going to do shite 🖕

@Hadharra

I'm talking about when my child goes to school at 5, obviously.

Ouch

?

Argh mumsnet isn't letting me quote other replies properly.

@Im2022

Why do idiots have to come on threads like this and try to be smartarses?

To make it easier to understand: OP is pondering what would happen if she took her child out of school for 2 weeks once the child is in school in the future. She’s well aware her child is 3.

Taking a 5-12 year old child out of school for 2 weeks isn’t going to ruin their education and set them off on a life of drink/drugs and unemployment.

I haven’t had to pay a fine yet, as our primary school was great, but am bracing to pay fines for dd in secondary school. Yes, it’s part of business now. I’m not going to pay extortionate prices for tickets to go and visit family. Only those who have relatives abroad seem to understand this.

I disagree.

As you're setting a bad example to your children that you are above the rules, and can break them for your own convenience...

I had family abroad growing up / still do. We either visited less frequently, they visited us, or we paid the travel cost.

E.g. it's the same type of parents who thinks it's okay to block someone's else driveway when picking/dropping off their children, as its "only" 5 minutes and they "can't" park further away.

I'm just on another thread, the government has brainwashed the majority into believing that missing days at primary is going to affect progress at 16. It's just bollocks, the children that fail to progress have poor attendance not because of occasional holidays but because of chronic neglect. Parents that don't care if they are in or out of school. (And I'm not talking about any SN or medical issue as that is different)

[quote Pembertonrd]@Headteacher415
However also I'd flag that your child is 3 and you are already expecting to be taking them out of school in two years time which isn't good!

You're pretty narrow minded then.

2 weeks out of school at primary age for good reasons, visiting family, new experiences is usually beneficial.
I allowed my ds to fly to Egypt with his dgf, I took my dd on a narrow boat holiday.
The things dc learn are often not taught in the classroom.
My dd on a narrow boat learned physics at the locks, geography and history on the route, nature from the canal bank, English by writing notes each day and maths every night in the pub adding up our bill!
And she got physical exercise all day.[/quote]
You're just making excuses/trying to justify the rule breaking....

Sorry what is this about parking and driveways @cococookiecream