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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

£60 school fine for absence even if documented abuse?

99 replies

Hadharra · 10/02/2022 16:45

Just out of curiosity. My son is only 3 but his father doesn't see him and only has indirect contact (court ordered). If my son were to be in school, I take him out for a two week holiday, would my ex partner (son's dad) also get a £60 fine if one were issued? Or could I offer to pay it myself? This kind of shit terrifies me!

OP posts:
KevinTheKoala · 11/02/2022 14:57

@JuergenSchwarzwald not if she couldn't afford to take them in school holidays though.

FirstAconite · 11/02/2022 15:04

@JuergenSchwarzwald

My DC ended up working in NY because I'd taken them there on a term time holiday and it made such an impact on them

no doubt it would have made an equal impact if you had taken them in the summer holidays, too.

Couldn't have afforded to go in school holidays so not really...
FirstAconite · 11/02/2022 15:05

@CocoCookieCream

Lol, everyone trying to justify their rule breaking...

If you can't afford a foreign holiday outside school term, then you shouldn't go on one.

Grin Nice.
Original poster
Hadharra · 11/02/2022 15:18

Honestly, I just wanted to know about fines. I have fallen in to the trap of random strangers giving me legal advice, moral and unnecessary advice/opinions and I'm not here for it. Leaving now.

OP posts:
FirstAconite · 11/02/2022 15:24

Ignore them OP, lots of us understand what you were asking and aren't judging you remotely Flowers

collieresponder88 · 12/02/2022 10:25

Op I think you need to stop worrying about something that will never happen ! It's really very rare that anyone gets a fine. A friend of mine took her daughter out of school at the start of year 7 and she has t been to school now for 3 years. Not one single person had contacted my friend to ask anything !!!

BamberGascoine · 12/02/2022 10:45

Sorry haven’t read the full thread so apologies if this has been covered. I work in a school, firstly your child will be fine having an annual holiday throughout primary, probably early secondary. Especially as you sound lime the type of parent to work with the school and fill any gaps etc.

The thing I wanted to say is - not asking for info, just for you to ponder- if the court order did not remove his parental responsibility and he was to approach the school he would be entitled to access to reports, attendance etc.

So if he has no parental responsibility my advice is to inform the school on acceptance of the place, providing evidence. That way tou can be sure everyone is clear from the start. Like PP have said if you don’t put his details on the paperwork they won’t be able to contact him. But you need to think about him contacting THEM.

If he does still have PR then I don’t have any advice but all I would say is speak to the school, particularly the designated safeguarding lead.

Sounds like you are doing a brilliant job, I am in over thinker too, the scenario’s I have built up in my head- that usually never cone to fruition- are countless!! 💐 for you

RedCandyApple · 12/02/2022 11:04

The op doesn’t need to tell him what school the child is at if he only has indirect contact so how on Earth will he contact them. Seriously op, ignore these mad comments! My daughter is in year 6 now ex on bc no contact with him and school have NEVER contacted him and he has never contacted them!

Im2022 · 12/02/2022 21:10

@CocoCookieCream

So you think I park across driveways and yellow lines just because I take my children out of school for holidays to visit family? You gleaned all of that from my one comment huh?

Well, seeing as we’re doing this, let me see…I bet you’re the type of person who’s a pathetic loner with no friends and you pick on people online because your own life is so shit. No personal attack here, I’m just gleaning that from your “holier than thou” posts. Makes you sound like a total dick.

Awalkintime · 12/02/2022 21:25

Flights and accommodation cost no more if you look and shop around. Use your research skills you seem to have plenty of them and you will find they don't cost more at all.

BertieQueen · 12/02/2022 22:06

@Awalkintime

Flights and accommodation cost no more if you look and shop around. Use your research skills you seem to have plenty of them and you will find they don't cost more at all.
Totally disagree the prices are majorly different in the school holidays for flights and accommodation. Currently researching holidays for this year and they are triple the price or more for school holidays dates.

Also your last sentence…really? Hmm

FurryAntiWaxer · 12/02/2022 22:11

@Ducksurprise

I'm just on another thread, the government has brainwashed the majority into believing that missing days at primary is going to affect progress at 16. It's just bollocks, the children that fail to progress have poor attendance not because of occasional holidays but because of chronic neglect. Parents that don't care if they are in or out of school. (And I'm not talking about any SN or medical issue as that is different)
Most countries don't fine people for taking short breaks from school. Sure, if there is chronic truancy or long-term illness the school will need to work out a strategy, and if there is neglect social services are involved. But fining people for taking a few days off to take a child to a wedding or visit relatives! Outrageous. Schools don't own children.
Awalkintime · 12/02/2022 22:29

BertieQueen
If you want a quickly booked package through a company then of course you will pay above the odds. If you want a reasonably priced holiday then they are there if you know how. As someone who can never have a holiday unless it is during school holidays, I have never paid above the odds for a break.

My last sentence is in response to all the education the OP has so surely is very skilled at research given the extensive list of letters after her name.

Awalkintime · 12/02/2022 22:42

BertieQueen
Also you are looking too close to the time you want to go. This will mean you will pay above the odds. If you look for Easter breaks next year booking around about now it will be cheap. If you wait until early 2023 to book it will cost you much more.

Im2022 · 13/02/2022 09:00

My last sentence is in response to all the education the OP has so surely is very skilled at research given the extensive list of letters after her name.

Wtf is wrong with some people? Yes, extensive academic research in the field of education or science is so similar to searching for hotels and flights on the internet isn’t it? 🤣🙄🙄

Let’s give you a badge for finding cheap holidays during school breaks…good on you 👏.👏.👏.

Awalkintime · 13/02/2022 16:19

Im2022
Thank you, I'll wear it with pride. It really isn't difficult to find but if you can't be bothered looking then yes, you will get stung. That doesn't mean it is an excuse to take kids out of school because you can't be arsed to look for a good deal. Especially someone who claims to know how to research extensively.

What is wrong with me? ASD.

BamberGascoine · 13/02/2022 18:48

@RedCandyApple I’m not sure if this is aimed at me? I can tell you that NRP can and do find their children’s schools. Within the last 2 months I have had contact from a NRP who lives the other end of the country from their children, the child at school is now in their last year, an older sibling went through our school and all of this time there has been no contact. That parent has PR so now has access to all of the same information as the RP.

Another parent clearly found out the area their children were living in and contacted a couple of schools. We already knew from the RP that PR had been withdrawn, that parent has not, nor will receive any information. There are also several children with a no contact parent who we have never heard from. Everyone’s situation is different. Your experience is limited to your own whereas I am speaking from a different range of experience, it doesn’t mean it is wrong. OP can listen to who she wants to, or not.

Im2022 · 13/02/2022 22:20

What is wrong with me? ASD.

Don’t blame your smug attitude on autism. It’s no excuse. Working in academic research isn’t the same as sitting on a computer searching for flights and hotel.

Even with searching, flight prices always peak during holidays; don’t be so patronising to people who have been travelling for years telling them they don’t peak. Some flights can’t be booked a year in advance, even 9 months earlier, the prices peak during holidays for certain countries. I. Know. This. Because my eldest is 14 years old and I’ve got 9/10 years experience. As do others on this thread.

But you enjoy that badge. 🙄.

Awalkintime · 14/02/2022 08:15

Im2022
I'm not blaming my attitude on anything, you asked what was wrong with me, I answered. I was answering your question.

have lots of experience too as someone who is limited to booking during holiday time as a teacher I have never paid above the odds always about 1/4 of what it normally is. I already said they peaked if you don't time it correctly. I will enjoy that badge thank you!

CoffeeLover99 · 14/02/2022 11:48

End of the day, there are either:

  1. Parents who think they are above the rules, and think a holiday justifies truancy.
  1. Parents who obey the law, and set a good example for their children.
rocksonrocks · 14/02/2022 12:29

@toomuchlaundry

Seems a shame you did all those qualifications and you are on a low income
Did you mean to be so nasty?
gogohm · 14/02/2022 12:55

@Hadharra

Removing your child from school affects the rest of the class - when they are very small less so but it's simply not fair to expect the teachers to help your child catch up because you took a term time holiday. I managed to get mine through all of schooling only missing 3 days, once for musical reasons to sing in a cathedral with their church choir and 2 days for a wedding. No child should be missing school for planned trips except in exceptional circumstances, they get 6 weeks holidays

Original poster
Hadharra · 14/02/2022 13:25

[quote gogohm]@Hadharra

Removing your child from school affects the rest of the class - when they are very small less so but it's simply not fair to expect the teachers to help your child catch up because you took a term time holiday. I managed to get mine through all of schooling only missing 3 days, once for musical reasons to sing in a cathedral with their church choir and 2 days for a wedding. No child should be missing school for planned trips except in exceptional circumstances, they get 6 weeks holidays[/quote]
You are all boring me now.

OP posts:
Goawayangryman · 17/02/2022 20:34

So much rudeness on this thread.

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