DS Last one picked in PE

[GoldenLightNights]

AIBU to contact the teacher with regards to this:

DS is 9, he’s a wonderful child, great at all things science and maths related but not so much at sports. He plays football outside of school for one of the lower ability teams and sort of enjoys it, he isn’t forced to play or anything like that.

Anyway today at school he had PE, we’ve never had any issues before but today for some reason the teacher let two boys pick teams and my son was the last to be picked. He is quite upset especially as one of the boys doing the picking is a close friend.
Anyway I find the idea of letting other children pick teams horrendous and if not my son some child will be picked last. I actually thought this method of choosing teams was done away with years ago!
I want to contact the teacher to ask if he would consider adopting a new approach to team selection. My husband says I’m jumping the gun and to wait to see if it happens again…… so what do you think?
He was properly upset this evening 😢

[quote worriedatthemoment]@WiddlinDiddlin when you go for a job if you don't get it you know others have been picked over you ??
If same kid every week then yes it needs to change but this was once and I would wait and see how teacher deals with it next time before speaking up
But even in lessons they sometimes say pick a partner or a group of three etc its not just sport [/quote]
Yes.. because a politely worded letter 'we regret to inform you that your application has not been successful blah blah blah'...

Is EXACTLY the same experience as being lined up in front of your class or year group and effectively told you're hated/disgusting/awful etc...

But thanks for confirming you really DON'T get it...

That's horrible. What was the teacher doing when all this nastiness was going on?

That was to nottsure

And yes I am aware this has happened to the OP's kid just once - but ensuring it doesn't happen again would be sensible.

@Nottsure

This happened to dd recently , she had just joined high school. Was last to be picked then one girl started shouting at the others that she would HAVE to pick dd then but why couldn’t they ‘volunteer’ to pick her instead and it all got a bit unpleasant and dd had walked off back into school and refused to go back to the lesson. Dd has disabilities and had come home upset then the school had phoned to let us know about the incident

It really really upset me 😞

Good on her for walking off but that’s so bad. This is another reason why it should be scrapped. Why anyone would argue to keep this is place I don’t know.

I was always picked last because I was rubbish at sport. It didn’t bother me, it was a logical decision. You can’t be good at everything.

Well said @WiddlinDiddlin

Quite a few "sporty" commenters here who are failing to grasp the basic point.

Sorry to hear this OP. It sounds like the school are stuck in the past with respect to games. I bet they're using the more recent teaching ideas with maths and literacy..

I think teachers are taught not to use this method of team picking anymore...but in my DCs junior school they outsourced PE teaching to a holiday club provider and it was clear that they were pretty clueless on ways to ensure all the kids enjoyed pe whatever their abilities.

Can we crop the 'its OK because the children who are bad at maths, reading, academic stuff need a place to shine' It is nonsense.

In my long experience, children who have difficulties in academic areas also often have difficulties in sports, lots of learning difficulties have a physical aspect as well. So for these children its double/triple humiliation to have their lack of sporting ability publically drawn attention to by 'team picking'.

Also having other children pick for anything is a flawed system, they often just pick their friends, so it is the unpopular children repeatedly humiliated as well as the unsporty. This kind of exclusion and humiliation of others happens enough in the playground between children, it doesn't need to spill over into lessons.

It is very outdated teaching practice, and anyone using it needs to have some retraining and rethink their methods. Therefore it needs to be pointed out to a staff member that this is going on.

I too was always picked last because I was rubbish. It didn't bother me because I'm not sporty.

Its not about being good either its about who is friends with who and he's probably more upset about the friendship element. This probably happens in playgrounds constantly every break and lunch time.

I would just comment on all the things he's awesome at and leave it at that. Try and find out if their are issues with friendship groups.

'drop' not 'crop'

@GoldenLightNights, DH and DS both work in sport. They both think this is a spectacularly crap way of picking teams – and worse, there is absolutely no need for it, there are loads of more equitable ways of picking teams which don't require anyone to feel bullied or even negative about sport.

Of course we can't all be good at sport, but the emphasis should be on encouragement and enjoyment not on performance.

Depending on how approachable the PE teacher is, DS (who works mainly with primary age DCs) says your idea is very good – to politely suggest that there are better ways of selecting teams than letting the children do it.

My point is in the real world someone needs to be last, someone needs to be slowest, someone needs to be less able in a particular field than the next. Accepting that is a valuable life lesson unless you walk around with your head stuck up your postgraduate educated arse avoiding reality

It just shows that you don't get it at all, @AnEpisodeOfEastenders and have very little grasp of real life. Maybe watch less EastEnders. As others have said, in the real world adults do not regularly have their weaknesses pointed out in a public space in front of others, and bullying does not teach resilience.

I mean you wouldn't start a maths lesson by getting a couple of kids to stand up and point out who they thought was worse at maths, would You?

@worriedatthemoment
No, you're right that in all subjects/life in general there are those who seemingly do well and others that struggle. I don't have personal experience of this and neither do my kids but just reading this thread made me think about it. To be honest my first reaction was that it was a bit over the top, and even now I don't believe it needs mentioning to the school unless it becomes a routine thing.
I believe that team and group work is important and can teach children lots of skills but I suppose it both promotes and requires a level of emotional intelligence on the part of all members. When the objective is a competition rather than a project or experience then it is more complex. The more skilled members have to accept the abilities of other members knowing that this will put them at a disadvantage. This is difficult for adults, et alone children.
I'm not saying ban team sports, just that I appreciate that it's a difficult learning experience, especially for those who find them difficult.

@Freebus

I mean you wouldn't start a maths lesson by getting a couple of kids to stand up and point out who they thought was worse at maths, would You?

This is the equivalent. Not maths tests

Any takers…

@AmyDudley, very eloquently put, and very good points.

@MarshaBradyo so when the teacher reads out the scores is that not the same as your basically working out who is last are you not

[quote worriedatthemoment]@MarshaBradyo so when the teacher reads out the scores is that not the same as your basically working out who is last are you not [/quote]
This is equivalent to coming last in a race v first, or not scoring any goals v scoring five

Dc know already if they are good

They don’t need the team picking part. I can’t work out why people want it to stay so much.

[quote worriedatthemoment]@MarshaBradyo so when the teacher reads out the scores is that not the same as your basically working out who is last are you not [/quote]
Teachers don’t do this anymore or at least very rarely.

@WiddlinDiddlin what you mean is i don't agree with you
I do get it i was that kid but it happens in other subjects and in the playground so we also have to teach our kids how to deal with it
Many on here say its not equivalent to having results read out in maths and being last , but it simply is

@Peaseblossum22 my two have only just left school and it was done regularly

@MarshaBradyo because if used right it can work as next week the kids picked last could be the choosers and kids do this all the time when playing
I agree if same are always last its not good but if the pickers are different all the time then it should mic it up
In lessons you are told pick a partner at times or a group to work with and there is often a kid left stood on own or two forced together as all others have picked friends , that the same and it still happens

The issue here, isn't the process of assigning teams, it's how the children behave when doing so. Shouting, jeering, rolling eyes, whispering etc? That's the behaviour that needs to be managed and stamped out by the teacher, not the actual methodology. DS's PE teacher would have any children who behaved like that in detention for a month if they were so unkind to another pupil.

DS's school assign teams this way sometimes, not always, but sometimes, and the children who are picked towards the end, or last, are still 'high fived' and embraced into the team when they do join them. Because everyone in the respective teams knows that firstly, it's vile behaviour to make people feel unwanted, but secondly, if you want your team to win the event, you need everyone engaged, motivated and wanting to do their best, whatever their best may look like. If the child picked last feels angry, upset and embarrassed, they're not likely to run for the ball, or try and catch the ball or whatever, they'll be trying to hide at the side of the pitch which impacts the whole team. DS has frequently come home had said how brilliantly 'X' played today, or 'Y' scored a goal, when these are children that aren't traditionally strong at sport, because they had the full support and encouragement of the rest of the team.

For those who think sporty kids get to shine at Sports Day, that is not always the case. My son's school has the non competitive Sports Day and kids have to do things like walk around playing field for 1 point for house. (secondary) Each house has to have a team and 1 team member has to do something eg run, ride a bike, balance beam etc. My son noticed even though he is by far the fastest runner in his house he was never allowed to run instead Teacher made him do the balance beam. In PE lessons he often has to play 5 a side dodge ball and even though he is usually last person to be caught he is always on the loosing side because Teacher puts him with 4 kids who are not good at dodging. He used to get upset when he was younger, but now laughs at Teacher as he has got used to it and has told his Teacher in school you can fix it so I am always on the loosing side but out of school he is very often on winning side because he plays sport at county level for one team sport and swims for town too and plays in 2 other team sports.