To think MN is full of really stupid advice/ideas?

[StupidAdvice]

For starters:

"Kick him out and change the locks" (you mostly can't just do this - especially not if you jointly own the property).

"You're his common law wife so you are entitled to half of everything" (no, no, no).

"You're entitled to stay in the family home if you separate" (maybe, but probably not).

"Keep all the evidence of him cheating because you'll need it when you negotiate a settlement" (no you won't, and you're wasting your time: the law doesn't care who cheated or why or when).

"Just take the kids and leave him" (it's mostly not that easy).

There's lots of brilliant advice too, obviously - but AIBU to want to bang my head on the desk when people repeatedly trot out a pile of bollocks as if it were fact?

Common-law wife is mentioned on most threads about living together unmarried, but usually only by a tiny minority of posters. Other posters are always on hand to point out that there is no such thing in England.

On the "medical advice", it's the ADHD thing that makes me roll my eyes
If anyone (especially a child) does something in the least odd you can guarantee it'll be dragged in, often in the first few posts, even if the OP's explained that they're NT

@Puzzledandpissedoff

On the "medical advice", it's the ADHD thing that makes me roll my eyes If anyone (especially a child) does something in the least odd you can guarantee it'll be dragged in, often in the first few posts, even if the OP's explained that they're NT

Yep along with autism, Dementia, Narcissism.

Yep along with autism, Dementia, Narcissism

And, according to MN, narcissism is a catch-all diagnosis, not a normal personality trait that we all have to some extent.

(Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a diagnosis, but it is not common and involves more than 'being a bit self-absorbed', which is all that it takes for MN to label you a Narc).

@MaryPoppinPills

You forgot - "get an hours free legal advice". If everywhere offered that no work would ever get done.

And also this only works for the most straightforward of issues....

Any complexity, nah.

My favourite is go low /no contact on the flimsiest of reasons... Friend being 5 mins late😂

Of course it is, on AIBU anyway, it attracts all manner of trolls, idiots and non-experts as there is a very wide user base, and some people come in here when threads have been picked up in tabloids. But there is also a lot of good advice, particularly on the specialist boards and sometimes even on AIBU.

@MiddleEasternMummy

😂😂 some of these are hilarious. I agree how ridiculous it is to take in ironing to make extra money but even more ridiculous is taking in a lodger . I mean who the hell wants a stranger in their house around their children 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

Hell would feeze over before I took in a lodger around kids. But I do know plenty of childless people who have lodgers to make ends meet. So maybe people who say this don't have kids?

There's so many armchair experts on here claiming to be this that or the other because who can tell?
The Covid topic is wild with people banging on confidently about whatever they believe in.
I might ask for advice on here about a tv programme or how to get a stain out of something. But that's about it. And I have found the Litter Tray topic most helpful for all things feline.

It's the 'could it be early onset dementia / autism' response to posts about someone being an absolute dick.

Then there's the 'justers'

No money? Just get a credit card!

DH being a tool? Just leave him

Cash flow problem? Just look down the side of the couch / take in ironing / get a lodger / sell all your possessions on eBay

Mum on the school run being arsey? Just say 'did you mean to be so rude?' Bonus points for head tilt & tinkly laugh

MIL being a bit overbearing? Just go no-contact. You have a DH problem, not a MIL problem

Awful boss? Just walk out & get a new job

Terrible neighbours? Just move

Because life is that easy.

Hell would feeze over before I took in a lodger around kids. But I do know plenty of childless people who have lodgers to make ends meet. So maybe people who say this don't have kids?

A friend of mine was widowed very young, and took in lodgers so that she didn't have to move her kids out of their home and traumatise them further. The lodgers were mainly really nice mature students; quite a few ended up as friends. They didn't have unsupervised access to her DC. Magically, all the kids survived unscathed, despite sharing a house with someone who wasn't a blood relative. And they grew up in a lovely house with a garden, with memories of their father all around them, instead of having to downsize radically.

@Sparklingbrook

There's so many armchair experts on here claiming to be this that or the other because who can tell? The Covid topic is wild with people banging on confidently about whatever they believe in. I might ask for advice on here about a tv programme or how to get a stain out of something. But that's about it. And I have found the Litter Tray topic most helpful for all things feline.

Yes the Covid board is crazy 🤣🤣

Mumsnet is not a scientific journal. Posters are literally asking for the public's opinions. Ofcourse people will get is wrong sometime. It's not like everyone you know in real life is a genius.

@x2boys if anyone relies on the Covid board on here for factual up to date pandemic information I would worry for them.

Apparently you aren't allowed to give your own experience either as that's not data and doesn't count. Bonkers.

What I am concerned about is why anyone would want to take everything they read on a public forum as fact.

@Dotell

What I am concerned about is why anyone would want to take everything they read on a public forum as fact.

You can't save people from themselves. There's all the threads whining about how the Daily Mail have pinched a thread from here. Such surprise and foot stamping.

@pictish

MN is full of people offering strident advice they’d never follow themselves.

oh wow, yes, this is so true. I've often thought "but would YOU actually leave"

Some of the advice here is rubbish but some is a lot better than what I get from my friends/family!

There's been lots of threads basically asking people to predict the future lately. Like we all have a fully functioning crystal ball.

Yep, any child being a normal, say, four year old - 'have you had them assessed for ADHD, autism etc'. Bonkers.

There are some posters who seem to delight in being contrary. One classic was OP fed up with balls coming into her garden. She was told that not returning immediately was child abuse and that she should turn her fence into a ladder so the kids could climb over.

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow

Hell would feeze over before I took in a lodger around kids. But I do know plenty of childless people who have lodgers to make ends meet. So maybe people who say this don't have kids?

A friend of mine was widowed very young, and took in lodgers so that she didn't have to move her kids out of their home and traumatise them further. The lodgers were mainly really nice mature students; quite a few ended up as friends. They didn't have unsupervised access to her DC. Magically, all the kids survived unscathed, despite sharing a house with someone who wasn't a blood relative. And they grew up in a lovely house with a garden, with memories of their father all around them, instead of having to downsize radically.

That was my experience as a child, our lodgers were two lovely young women, we were never alone in the house with them until we were old enough to be in the house on our own anyway (and I think they’d moved out by then anyway). It kept us in our house at a difficult time financially. They were great and bought us Christmas presents so as kids we were fans!

oh wow, yes, this is so true. I've often thought "but would YOU actually leave"

I think there are a lot of posters with shit lives and shit relationships who - probably subconsciously - want to break up other people's relationships too. Misery loves company.

There are also people who have suffered abuse/domestic violence, and who understandably see the worst in any situation involving shouting or swearing.

I don't know any couples IRL who never shout at each other and never occasionally swear during arguments. But, if a MNetter posts after a blow up with her DP, and there has been any shouting/swearing, she will be told she is being abused. Of course, shouting and swearing can be abusive, but it doesn't follow that a partner who is shouty once every 6 months, when you're having a ding-dong about who the fuck let the cat eat the Sunday roast again, is abusive.

The number of people who say “just move” or “I’d just move” is trolling levels imo.

Even pretty well off people don’t just move houses Willy nilly.

My pet hate on here though is when you get a 35 page thread asking for advice, like “my kitchen light has stopped working” and then on page 36 you get someone saying “have you tried changing the bulb?”
I get not wanting to read 35 pages, but the assumption that no-one on those pages would have suggested that is a special kind of arrogance.

The ones that often have me cringing are those where the poster writes out the full wording of a text/email/letter that they think the OP should send. Often an email that should be sent to a line manager/HR department/person in authority, and nearly always completely inappropriate or so badly written that it would go straight in the bin.