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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

When people visit your house do they take their shoes offf

476 replies

PlantMummy87 · 09/02/2022 18:19

Do you request people to take their shoes off when they come into your house?

I always take off my shoes whenever I enter someone's home as think it is rude not to as I think on the whole people like to keep their floors and carpets clean. However my FIL, my mum and my dad always keep their shoes on now when they visit ever since I had our baby, it's like as soon as they arrive they instantly want to see baby so just walk straight in and don't think they are causing any extra work cleaning for us. It's happened a lot now so it's not a one off that I can just brush off unfortunately. We have a tiny hallway which think might be part of the problem as don't have space for a chair or stall for someone to be able to sit on to take their shoes on and off on and can understand it might me harder for older people to bend over etc but they used to take their shoes off. When I was heavily pregnant I sat on the stairs but can't expect everyone to do this.

Downstairs is laminate flooring which I guess is easy to clean, but we also have rugs which they step on (which are hard to clean as wool), and upstairs is carpet. I do have a small carpet cleaner, but it's more for spot cleaning than entire areas of carpet and is a lot of hard work to do a large area. Plus I'm not really sure I want to have to clean all the floors, carpet and rugs every time people come to visit as have a newborn baby so don't have a lot of time to be dedicating to cleaning.

Recently our cat got really unwell resulting in lots of expensive vet visits, blood tests, stay at the vets, drip fluids as been so unwell, and now special food to help stomach recover etc. the vet thinks that it may have been something brought into the house perhaps via shoes as she is an indoor cat. It could well have been our shoes that brought something in, but we do take them off in the hallway and then they get put away and I clean the hallway floor daily.

We've spent the day disinfecting the whole house as baby who could easily catch a gastrointestinal upset so I want to be extra careful now, but even when he is a bit bigger and putting things in his mouth, crawling and walking I want to know things are clean for him in our home.

Do you think it is unreasonable to ask next time anyone comes around to ask if they can take their shoes off? I'm not really sure how to bring this up though and I don't want to cause drama especially with my FIL.
I'm thinking of putting a small foot stall next to the hallway just inside the living room (there isn't enough room to put it in the hallway) so people can take their shoes off on there and it's easier to keep clean. But it is made of wool so I'm a bit concerned that it might get dirty. Would it be better/ridiculous to get a collapsible ottoman and bring that out when people visiting and store away easily when not?

OP posts:
AllThingsServeTheBeam · 10/02/2022 17:10

[quote bandek]@PleasantBirthday
It was the bathroom bin thread. The hygiene threads are bloody hilarious. Maybe I'm not recalling it exactly right but I think this is what happened haha[/quote]
Most threads turn batshit. The hygiene ones especially so!

PleasantBirthday · 10/02/2022 17:11

I thought I was joking! Surely it's not possible!

Right, off to look for this!

2022success · 10/02/2022 17:12

Yes - if you don't take your shoes off, you don't come in my house.

PleasantBirthday · 10/02/2022 17:13

Don’t forget not to poo in the “en suite”. You might need a bag that too.

I think I've seen threads before where the ensuite and the downstairs toilet are both out of bounds for, you know, that kind of thing, but also the main bathroom is out of bounds to guests.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 10/02/2022 17:14

@PleasantBirthday

I thought I was joking! Surely it's not possible!

Right, off to look for this!

There is a thread in active right now about using a council estate park that has somehow gone on to bins and a poster has stated they wouldn't like someone to use their bathroom bin for tampons
RampantIvy · 10/02/2022 17:15

I just wondered if you lived in sketchers as they're comfy so could I suppose pass for slippers

Actually I wear slip on Skechers for slippers in the house, but I don't wear them outside. They are my indoor shoes.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 10/02/2022 17:16

@RampantIvy

I just wondered if you lived in sketchers as they're comfy so could I suppose pass for slippers

Actually I wear slip on Skechers for slippers in the house, but I don't wear them outside. They are my indoor shoes.

I have slip on sketchers by the back door for picking poo and putting the washing out. Are they called sliders?! They are comfy
BuddhaForMary · 10/02/2022 17:18

I have slip on sketchers by the back door for picking poo and putting the washing out. Are they called sliders?! They are comfy

I have these too. I only recently found out from DD11 that they're called sliders!

RampantIvy · 10/02/2022 17:34

Are sliders what we used to call flip flops (the ones without toe posts)?

My Skechers that I use for slippers are ballet style Bobs. Like these

Alonelonelylonersbadidea · 10/02/2022 17:41

In the same way that people find it 'shockingly bad manners' to ask people to take off shoes, I absolutely judge people who allow shoes on in their house (as dirty bastards) and ask people to take them off in mine. Yuk. Dirty bastards!!

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 10/02/2022 17:45

@RampantIvy

Are sliders what we used to call flip flops (the ones without toe posts)?

My Skechers that I use for slippers are ballet style Bobs. Like these

Yeah they're like fliptlops without the toe bit.

I like the pump sketchers. They're really easy to get on

EnglishMuffins · 10/02/2022 17:47

My ILs used to do this so I bought a sign and hung it non-discreetly in the hall which said “as little fingers touch our floor, leave your shoes at the door”, and it worked.
Shoes indoors is disgusting . The soles of your shoe contain billions of bacteria, e-coli, dog shit, sick spray, spit, pesticides… I don’t want that multiplying in my carpet and decreasing the longevity of my carpet, nor do I want my DC crawling and picking up all sorts from dirty floors.
It’s bad manners in my opinion, to not remove your shoes in someone else’s home, unless you’ve been specifically told it’s ok to leave them on.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 10/02/2022 17:48

@Alonelonelylonersbadidea

In the same way that people find it 'shockingly bad manners' to ask people to take off shoes, I absolutely judge people who allow shoes on in their house (as dirty bastards) and ask people to take them off in mine. Yuk. Dirty bastards!!
That's ok. I'm judging you back as being neurotic, anal and inhospitable Wink
FluffyFlower · 10/02/2022 18:00

I understand the divide and it is a matter of preference but I don't understand why it is inhospitable or rude to ask visitors to remove shoes/bring their own slippers/or make disposable shoes available to offer. There is always a way to ask politely, same goes with politeness to always ask if one can leave their shoes on or should they take them off. How is that different to asking/stating about dietary restrictions/preferences?! That idea with a sign is brilliant too!

Blossomtoes · 10/02/2022 18:05

@Alonelonelylonersbadidea

In the same way that people find it 'shockingly bad manners' to ask people to take off shoes, I absolutely judge people who allow shoes on in their house (as dirty bastards) and ask people to take them off in mine. Yuk. Dirty bastards!!
Oh do grow up. What people do in their own houses is bugger all to do with you.
Scianel · 10/02/2022 18:07

Tbh I don't think anything catastrophic would happen if someone wore shoes inside my house, I'm not crazy. But with carpet it's just a nicer thought knowing that shoes haven't been all over it. I like to walk barefoot, do yoga, sit on the floor sometimes etc so it's just psychologically a bit more pleasant.

I'm hoping to replace the carpet with engineered wood then I'll probably be less precious as I can mop. Although I'd prefer being saved the job.

SquirrelG · 10/02/2022 18:16

In the same way that people find it 'shockingly bad manners' to ask people to take off shoes, I absolutely judge people who allow shoes on in their house (as dirty bastards) and ask people to take them off in mine. Yuk. Dirty bastards!!

That's ok. I'm judging you back as being neurotic, anal and inhospitable

So do I, and thank goodness I don't know anyone like you in real life. I also find it interesting that I have managed to reach my 60s without ever having a serious illness, never having been in hospital, and rarely suffering from any illness at all - all the while wearing shoes in my house, along with my visitors. There really are some pathetically anal people on this type of thread.

SquirrelG · 10/02/2022 18:25

Off topic but some people equally think it is ok to walk in and throw their coat/bag on the table or kitchen counter rather than leave them in the hallway, or sit down on bed linen with their outdoor clothes on. This goes to the same camp as shoes at home for me!

That's just weird! Some of you really have sterile inhospitable sounding homes.

YellowAndGreenToBeSeen · 10/02/2022 19:25

I want any guest to be welcome and relaxed so I never ask people to take their shoes off and if asked, I tell them to go for whichever option makes them most comfortable. Unless they are wearing visibly muddy wellies or walking boots.

Carpets and floors clean easily enough.

I don’t wear shoes much at home (but don’t take them off the second I walk through the door) but this is for reasons of comfort - I wear Ugg boots as slippers. That said, I don’t wear gardening shoes (Crocs) in the house due to mud (see above!).

I would HATE being told or asked to remove my shoes as a visitor. I have extremely ugly feet, with a very pronounced bunion on one foot. I’m self conscious about it and would not be able to be barefoot or socked at someone’s house (apart from a couple of best mates places). Add to that, if I’m at an ‘evening’ or ‘event’ at someone’s house, my outfit will be just that, an outfit and would include my shoes. I’d feel daft in a skirt and tights with no shoes (bunion or not).

Yuckypretty · 10/02/2022 19:30

I really don't think a cat would get ill from people wearing shoes in your house.

onedayoranother · 10/02/2022 20:02

No. I have to say I've never come across this except in this country.

Tobchette · 10/02/2022 20:41

@PleasantBirthday
Thread moved on quickly but to answer your question yes he is neurotic about almost everything.
In summer he expects feet to be washed when entering the home. I sometimes put my foot down, excuse pun, about that one, if I don't think my feet are particularly sweaty. We don't even have carpets, just laminate.

I grew up in a house where people laid on their beds with shoes on. Next to the dog, cat, and house rabbit. I wanted to live in a cleaner home as an adult but guess I married someone much, much more extreme.

Staffy1 · 10/02/2022 20:44

Off topic but some people equally think it is ok to walk in and throw their coat/bag on the table or kitchen counter rather than leave them in the hallway, or sit down on bed linen with their outdoor clothes on. This goes to the same camp as shoes at home for me

Bet they are the same type that brush against the wallpaper.
Who knew Mrs Bucket was based on 50% of mumsnet.

CaraVanDam · 10/02/2022 20:50

Asking people to take their shoes off is totally unnecessary and offensive

DarleneSnell · 10/02/2022 20:51

No I never ask guests to remove shoes, I've always found it a bit precious. My mum is like Monica Gellar but she was always easygoing on it too, which has no doubt influenced me.

As a family we do remove our own shoes though. Carpets are light and kids would ruin them otherwise!