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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How would you split the holiday?

211 replies

Mumstheword8 · 09/02/2022 18:17

So basically I have booked a holiday with my son (5), my dad and my dad's wife. We have got two rooms and also a free child place. How would you split the cost? Would you split per room so basically half the holiday each or per adult which is the holiday split into 3 as the child place was free?

OP posts:
ThinWomansBrain · 10/02/2022 18:21

how much would it have been if you'd booked without your son?
would you have been charged a single supplement?

should give you an indication.
have fun when you get there, sounds a bit of a nightmare
personally I'd look into cancelling - or cancelling their bit if no-cost and let them rebook and see if they get it for 75% of the price for two adults.

budgiegirl · 10/02/2022 18:22

*Look at it this way. If you went with your mum and your DC, It would cost you the price of 1 adult ticket (as you said 2 adults means you get a free child place).

If you went with just your dad and your DC,, you'd be paying for 1 adult ticket*

Possibly true, but only if you were prepared to share a room with your dad and DC. So it's not really the same situation.

I dont even think id enjoy the holiday if my dad and his wife were expecting me to subsidise them

But the OP wouldn't be subsidising them, because she can't get a free child place without them.

ThinWomansBrain · 10/02/2022 18:28

If you went with just your dad and your DC,, you'd be paying for 1 adult ticket.

But given the 2 adults to qualify for a free child place, presumably that's one room, and you'd be expected to share a room with your DF?
Might be OK if you were with DM, but would you want to share with DF?

budgiegirl · 10/02/2022 18:28

personally I'd look into cancelling - or cancelling their bit if no-cost and let them rebook and see if they get it for 75% of the price for two adults

They'd most likely have to pay less for two adults than the OP is asking them to pay. A mock booking of one room, 2 adults, will probably show this.

If the holiday is split per room rather than per adult, everyone is better off than if they'd booked separately. But if the dad and wife have to pay 2/3s then it is likely that is costing them more than the usual price of two adults. In which case they are subsidising the OPs holiday.

SMabbutt · 10/02/2022 18:39

Look at whst it would cost if it was just you abd your child and alsobwhat it would have cost them if they went on their own. Then use that to work out the fair amount to pay. You shouldn't be financially penalised for going with 2 more adults and they shouldn't be expecting you to effectively subsidise their holiday.

Frazzled2207 · 10/02/2022 18:49

@SMabbutt

Look at whst it would cost if it was just you abd your child and alsobwhat it would have cost them if they went on their own. Then use that to work out the fair amount to pay. You shouldn't be financially penalised for going with 2 more adults and they shouldn't be expecting you to effectively subsidise their holiday.
Good point. Do this. In our case we only got a free child place because four of us were travelling. That probably isn’t always the case.
Purple777 · 10/02/2022 19:00

@SMabbutt

Look at whst it would cost if it was just you abd your child and alsobwhat it would have cost them if they went on their own. Then use that to work out the fair amount to pay. You shouldn't be financially penalised for going with 2 more adults and they shouldn't be expecting you to effectively subsidise their holiday.
But this doesn't work..... because OP isn't going away on her own. She could have done so knowing it would cost her more, but she didn't hook that holiday. She booked with her dad and his partner.

There are 3 adults being charged for, so each adult pays a third. The child place is free. OP should pay for a third of the total cost.

Zilla1 · 10/02/2022 19:15

I would offer half based on the two room and see what your DF offers. Happier all round. I'd forget the notion that you pay half and your DF and DSM-equivalent pay a quarter each as they are a couple having a single room between them.

melj1213 · 10/02/2022 20:12

The child place is free

It's never truly free though, they just up the adult prices by a fraction to subsidise the "free" child place.

That us why I would suggest a 40/60 split - each adult pays the same 30% and the extra 10% is paid by the OP to cover the subsidy for the "free" child place she would otherwise not have got.

JacquelineCarlyle · 10/02/2022 21:38

That seems rotten of them Op - you definitely shouldn't be paying half. Either pay for one adult or pay 40% as another poster suggested to cover an additional sum for your DC.

Midlifemusings · 10/02/2022 21:41

Did your mom pay for your holiday when you went with her? Op and others on here seem to think fathers are responsible to finance their adult children's holidays. Do you feel the same about mother's?

And children aren't free! The resorts basically include the cost for the child into the adult prices. So your father and step mother are already subsidizing the cost for your child if you split it between the 3 adults.

Did you invite them so you wouldn't have to pay for your child or do you actually want to spend time with them on holiday?

BarbaraofSeville · 11/02/2022 07:02

@melj1213

The child place is free

It's never truly free though, they just up the adult prices by a fraction to subsidise the "free" child place.

That us why I would suggest a 40/60 split - each adult pays the same 30% and the extra 10% is paid by the OP to cover the subsidy for the "free" child place she would otherwise not have got.

I agree with this. Holiday pricing is something of a black art and full of anomalies if you stray away from 'standard' bookings of a couple with or without 2DC.

Splitting 50/50 is unfair because that means you're paying adult price for your DS, but splitting into thirds and them paying twice as much as you probably is a little unfair to them because you're getting a free child place that you probably wouldn't qualify for on your own because they require 2 adults to book and the prices are set accordingly. But if they were better off than you and nice people, many would just do that for their adult DC.

So you paying 40% and them 60% is a good compromise as somewhere in the middle.

dudsville · 11/02/2022 07:07

They aren't getting the same as you for £800 each, they aren't getting a room each. You split the cost in half, per room.

BarbaraofSeville · 11/02/2022 07:41

But it's not just the room, they're getting a flight each, and food each, likely more than the OPs 5 YO will eat, and they're getting the AI alcohol.

50/50 means that the OP is paying part of adult portions and alcohol, even if it's agreed that the flight and bed should be split per person.

rookiemere · 11/02/2022 07:45

It's frustrating that OP hasn't come back with how much DF and DSM would pay by themselves if OP and DS wasn't going- that would be the natural split.

The default should be that no one subsidises anyone else, worked out as best as possible using the facts available.

Dammitthisisshit · 11/02/2022 07:54

OP said that she wouldn’t have got the free child place if it was just her and her DC going.

The problem OP is that without your DC there you’d still have had to pay more per person for you alone in a separate room - places charge a single person supplement. So you might have booked on a per person rate but that per person rate is for 2 people sharing a room, not to be in a room alone. So I’d look to see what it would be for a single traveller and compare it to the per person rate of those sharing a double room.

I think a fair amount will be about 60:40.

thisdayistoolong · 11/02/2022 08:05

@rookiemere

It's frustrating that OP hasn't come back with how much DF and DSM would pay by themselves if OP and DS wasn't going- that would be the natural split.

The default should be that no one subsidises anyone else, worked out as best as possible using the facts available.

Agree there wasn't enough initial information to fairly work it out. Best guess is the suggested 60/40 but with more info a scientific calculation could be made.
FunnyInjury · 11/02/2022 08:07

I’ve been on holidays like this with friends, not even family, and we’ve always split per person!

Myself and boyfriend paid for my dc last time as they were 16, but our part of the group booking ‘funded’ an extra free child place for some friends with 2 younger dc! (So they had a free child spot on their own booking and we added their other dc to our booking) No way would we have asked them to pay towards our 3 places!!

Your dads partner is bring cheeky to even suggest you pay extra!!

Quartz2208 · 11/02/2022 08:11

I would do a quick calculation on how much it would cost if you was just the two of you and two and them and see what it is it in relation to the 4 of you.

And take it from there

goodnightgrumble · 11/02/2022 08:15

Just say you can't afford it if that's the case and cancel, cut your losses with the deposit!

Winter2020 · 11/02/2022 09:04

I think it is complicated/ unclear as if you were in the room alone there might be a single adult supplement so I don't think it would simply cost a third each even without your child.

I think the simplest thing to do would be go back on the website and get a quote for only your dad and step mum to go on the exact same holiday (what it would cost them if neither you or your son was going) then suggest that is what they pay. Any other costs are to do with you and your son.

It is a shame your dad can't just be generous towards his child and grandchild though.

rookiemere · 11/02/2022 09:10

@Winter2020 - The issue of generosity is the sticking point here, I suspect.

Rightly or wrongly OP assumed she would get the full benefit of any child discount, but perhaps didn't realise this might uplift the adult cost.

Mumofsend · 11/02/2022 09:18

I don't know of any actual families where this would even be an argument because the normal thing would be to split by adults in this circumstance. If they are being pedantic about it though then I would offer a 40:60 split too.

budgiegirl · 11/02/2022 09:28

Myself and boyfriend paid for my dc last time as they were 16, but our part of the group booking ‘funded’ an extra free child place for some friends with 2 younger dc! (So they had a free child spot on their own booking and we added their other dc to our booking) No way would we have asked them to pay towards our 3 places!!

It's not really the same situation though, assuming you're a group of four adults? In your case the 2 free child places are covered by the four adults (two in each room) so there's no extras to pay such as single supplements. It's not cost you any extra to add the child to your booking than it would have to have just paid for your two adults and 2 teens. Would you have felt the same if it had increased the cost to you?

Chely · 11/02/2022 09:39

My dad would probably foot the bill for the lot