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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How would you split the holiday?

211 replies

Mumstheword8 · 09/02/2022 18:17

So basically I have booked a holiday with my son (5), my dad and my dad's wife. We have got two rooms and also a free child place. How would you split the cost? Would you split per room so basically half the holiday each or per adult which is the holiday split into 3 as the child place was free?

OP posts:
Tiana4 · 10/02/2022 11:12

@Mumstheword8
That's good you've texted your Dad

It doesn't bode well that SM is getting snippy about money & trying it on before you even go... Is it too late to cancel without losing too much?

If they end up failing to pay their fair share (I think you'd be better doing 40:60 split but Splitting 3 ways isn't unreasonable given they pushed to ask to come on holiday with DS and you & that child has free place) , then I'd want to say something before we went

"Dad you asked to come on holiday with your DGS and me. You've not paid your fair share and I can't afford to subsidise you and SM. It's charged for 3 adults and the child is free, you want me to pay part of your costs which I can't afford and hadn't expected at all. I could have gone on holiday with my Mum , she pays her way- or with friends instead.
So please have a think, as I won't want to be put in this position again. Love Mumstheword"

Fairyliz · 10/02/2022 11:16

@toomuchlaundry

Not everyone owns their own house and have good pensions *@Fairyliz*

Single parents can be on massive salaries.

Not saying this is the case here.

DH and I are in a much better place financially than our parents, we wouldn’t expect them to pay for a family holiday, in fact we have paid for them to come on holiday with us

@toomuchlaundry Yes single parents can be on massive salaries but I imagine if they are they are very likely to come from families where parents were high earning professionals, rather than families where parents were on minimum wage and are now surviving on state pensions. I’m glad you have treated your parents though. Hoping my DC progress and treat me before I’m too old to go on holiday. Grin
Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 10/02/2022 11:19

I hope your df has your back op. My df sold me down the river when sm said to...

toomuchlaundry · 10/02/2022 11:21

@Tiana4 I don't think she can say that, as I think she is paying less whether she pays a third or half, than she would if she had just gone on holiday with DS. They are subsidising her holiday

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 10/02/2022 11:32

It should definitely be split a lot closer to 1/3 each than 1/2 per room (as your SM suggests) as it’s AI. Her way might work if you were self catering in a villa or similar, but the AI prices for adults assume a fair amount of alcohol being consumer, which is a big part of the price.

A child is going to cost a fraction of an adult in terms of what they consume, and the child place is free. Maybe offer to pay 40% to allow for the mark up on the adult places.

CrimbleCrumble1 · 10/02/2022 11:37

Check the holiday invoice and pay your share.

AnotherEmma · 10/02/2022 12:20

@Mumstheword8

I think the problem is that if it was my dad and his wife going away with her daughter and child it would be a completely different story! But because its me I think she's trying to get one over on me. She wouldn't do this to her own daughter I can tell you that.
If that's how you feel about her, and how you think she feels about you, you shouldn't be going on holiday with her. Cancel.
toomuchlaundry · 10/02/2022 13:34

@AnotherEmma I agree with you, or at least have separate accommodation so you can have some time apart, it doesn’t sound as if it is going to be an amicable holiday

Ikeptgoing · 10/02/2022 13:35

[quote toomuchlaundry]@Tiana4 I don't think she can say that, as I think she is paying less whether she pays a third or half, than she would if she had just gone on holiday with DS. They are subsidising her holiday[/quote]
DF and SM are not subsidising OPs holiday. That's not true at all. It's all inclusive so by far the larger costs of holiday are the adults hence why child goes free.
It should be shared 40:60 or 1/3 each. I think SM is pulling a fast one and wouldn't agree to go on holiday with them again after this. As they are expecting OP to subsidise their holiday costs. The child is free. It's charged at 3 adults so splits 3 ways or near to that. They are going to reap what they sow.

As PP said earlier, of SM is being this graspy about money before holiday has started, it doesn't bode well.

Ikeptgoing · 10/02/2022 13:36

Is the holiday soon @Mumstheword8 ?

As it doesn't bode well already, are you sure you want to go as cancellation fees at this stage might not be that bad.

CrimbleCrumble1 · 10/02/2022 13:40

Does you DF and SM get the free child’s place as they are two adults and then you’re booked as a single person? Will your room definitely have a bed for your DC?

DogsAndGin · 10/02/2022 13:53

Hmmm tricky! If you wanted to take a girlfriend along to even up the num of people per room, would this result in any extra costs?

If they’ve paid separately for their own 2 seats on a flight, 2x baggage, and 2x meals, and 2x transfers, why would they now need to pay 66% of the overall cost of two rooms? They are taking up one room, which they could book separately if they wish and pay that contract between themselves and the hotel. From what you’re saying, that would be the same price as your stay at the hotel. And that’s that.

However - If the flights and food are included in the price of the room, then yes, it is not ‘free’ to have two people in the room vs one. Indeed, if you brought a gf along, it wouldn’t be for free, and your ‘room’ would increase in price.

Hmum0fthree · 10/02/2022 13:57

@Mumstheword8

It is an all inclusive package holiday and was booked on price per person with a free child place but somehow feel like I'm at wrong asking it to be split into 3 because of the free child place
You literally said it yourself, ignore the wife Hmm
Original poster
Mumstheword8 · 10/02/2022 14:14

@Ikeptgoing

Is the holiday soon *@Mumstheword8* ?

As it doesn't bode well already, are you sure you want to go as cancellation fees at this stage might not be that bad.

The holiday isn't until September 😴 I'm already fed up!!
OP posts:
CrimbleCrumble1 · 10/02/2022 14:17

How much is the total cost and how much is your room costing? Are they changing a single room supplement?

ForeverSingle881 · 10/02/2022 14:23

Honestly why are you going on holiday with such an awful person? You don't owe her or your dad anything just because you went on holiday with your mum. You're an adult, annual leave is precious, you get to decide what to do with it. Just like he got to decide to marry a cunt. Cancel and leave them to it, if she's doing this now, she is going to be 100 times worse on holiday, when you’re trapped in all inclusive hell with her.

Montecristocount · 10/02/2022 14:23

Is the flight free for the child? If so definitely don’t split 50:50. Maybe try and apportion flight and room costs and pay one seat on the flight and half the accommodation?

Ikeptgoing · 10/02/2022 14:43

The holiday isn't until September 😴 I'm already fed up!!

😩😩
You should be looking forward to it. Something tells me Dad and step mum aren't that relaxing to be around

What's the cancellation fee like?

I'd wait a couple days for dad to respond but also check the booking cancellation fee - it might only be a couple £100 as it's 6 months away still.

It'll cost you at least an extra £500 to go with them let alone what else SM decides you need to pay more for...

If you're already fed up and getting the sense that SM is going to pick at you and make this a stressful holiday, can you gentle fish (without saying why) with your mum if she and her partner would go on holiday with you and pay 1/3 each if they were coming?

As You might be able to change their booking it into your mum and her partners' name if you'd rather go with them for a minimal charge.

Justkeeppedaling · 10/02/2022 14:47

@PicaK

Well the child place isn't really free - the cost is built in isn't it? I'd offer 40%
This.
toomuchlaundry · 10/02/2022 14:51

Do you usually get on with the SM?

rookiemere · 10/02/2022 14:56

OP you haven't answered what the cost would be if they went alone. It may have gone up a little bit since you booked it, but check that and things may be much clearer.

flirtygirl · 10/02/2022 16:19

Just cancel it. Tell them it got cancelled. Lots of holidays are still getting cancelled. Rebook somewhere else without them.

All this quibbling is absolutely pointless.

Bookworm20 · 10/02/2022 17:45

Look at it this way. If you went with your mum and your DC, It would cost you the price of 1 adult ticket (as you said 2 adults means you get a free child place).

If you went with just your dad and your DC,, you'd be paying for 1 adult ticket.

The fact your dad is bringing his wife should then not mean that you foot the bill for that! As essentiially that is what she is asking you to do.

The child place is free. Each adult pays the adult price. End of.

Branleuse · 10/02/2022 17:56

@BaronessBomburst

Cancel the booking and go with your mum instead.
Thats what id do tbh. I dont even think id enjoy the holiday if my dad and his wife were expecting me to subsidise them
Gizlotsmum · 10/02/2022 18:10

Having read more I think I would do 40:60 split so they pay 30% each and you pay 30% for you and the extra 10% for your son…

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