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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How would you split the holiday?

211 replies

Mumstheword8 · 09/02/2022 18:17

So basically I have booked a holiday with my son (5), my dad and my dad's wife. We have got two rooms and also a free child place. How would you split the cost? Would you split per room so basically half the holiday each or per adult which is the holiday split into 3 as the child place was free?

OP posts:
Lalliella · 10/02/2022 08:18

Somewhere between 50/50 and 33/67 as the flight is free for the child but you have the same room as the couple. I’d say 40/60 would be fair.

WutheringHeights66 · 10/02/2022 08:20

I would simply work out what two of them cost and deduct that from the cost and pay the balance.

They simply cannot argue with that at all.

Suretobe · 10/02/2022 08:24

How much would the holiday cost for you and your child if your dad and his wife didn’t go?
Would your dad’s wife choose to go on this holiday or is she going with the flow?
In your shoes I’d make an offer based on estimation of cost split by flight, accommodation, food/drink and kids club/free things to do. Your dad and his wife might not care either way about how the split is done but I’m sure they’d appreciate your effort to be fair.

SockFluffInTheBath · 10/02/2022 08:26

@mightytights4

I'd look at what it would cost you each to book separately then apply the same share to the actual cost.

If I understand right it would cost the same if your dad and his wife or you and your DS booked separately because your DS would pay the same as an adult. That means you'd each have the same cost.

Say its £1000 for 2 people

Cost for you and your DS going alone £1000
Cost for your dad and his wife going alone £1000
Total cost if you all booked separately £2000
Share 50% each

If you're saying it is £1650 instead of £2000 then you're right that your dad and his wife pay less splitting 50% but so do you. I agree with other posters that a dad might be generous about it and not take the saving but I don't think they're being unreasonable splitting half each.

This. Going it alone would cost you a lot more. Having the extra adults on the booking and splitting it 50:50 gets you all a discount.
rookiemere · 10/02/2022 08:41

How are the finances split between your DF and DSM OP ? Maybe she feels she'd be the one subsidising everyone else and doesn't particularly want to go on holiday with her DSGS ( sorry) ?

Is it too late to cancel ? I feel if you're already falling out about finances it doesn't bode well for the trip. It might be better to have a face to face to discuss- you haven't said how much the price for two people is and if it would be more or less than if it's split by 3 .

CrimbleCrumble1 · 10/02/2022 09:02

What’s the total for the four of you? I think you should pay about 40% of the total.

timeisnotaline · 10/02/2022 09:17

Why is everyone assuming the op would book the same holiday on her own? Presumably like many competent adults she would look at the cost of a single adult + child and if it’s too much, say ok we will be holidaying somewhere else then. It’s not at all a given to say she’d be paying more if they weren’t coming, that would be a different scenario altogether.

Fairyliz · 10/02/2022 09:25

[quote toomuchlaundry]@Fairyliz why should parents pay for their adult DC holiday? What if their adult DC have much more money than them?[/quote]
@toomuchlaundry
Well the op mentions her and her dc but no partner so I am assuming she is a single parent paying rent/mortgage. Her dad is likely to be 30 years older so paid off mortgage?
DH and I are retired and living off pensions. Our adult children earn much more than our pensions pay out, but when you take off living costs we have more disposable income. Surely this will be the case in most families (especially single parent ones) unless the children are on extremely high salaries?

Frazzled2207 · 10/02/2022 09:29

Per room is fairest.
But it would be a nice gesture if your dad and his wife offered to pay two thirds.

Agree the free child place is a bit of a red herring, it makes the overall price cheaper for all.

We have just booked a hol with a free child place but it’s not really the case that one of the kids goes for “free” as it would not apply unless four were travelling

Scbchl · 10/02/2022 09:32

Whenever we go on hols with others we split cost an adult is one and a child is half, so split it 3.5 ways. So if its 3300 you pay 1414 and they pay 1886 and however they decide to split it between them is up to them.

toomuchlaundry · 10/02/2022 09:33

Not everyone owns their own house and have good pensions @Fairyliz

Single parents can be on massive salaries.

Not saying this is the case here.

DH and I are in a much better place financially than our parents, we wouldn’t expect them to pay for a family holiday, in fact we have paid for them to come on holiday with us

budgiegirl · 10/02/2022 09:35

I think the problem is that if it was my dad and his wife going away with her daughter and child it would be a completely different story! But because its me I think she's trying to get one over on me. She wouldn't do this to her own daughter I can tell you that

It may be true that she'd be different with her own daughter, but I really don't think this is a case of trying to get one over on you. After all, as several people have pointed out, it may be costing them more as a couple for their 'share' than it would if they had just booked their own room. I'm not sure that sounds fair.

OP have you checked the figures to see what it would cost 2 adults travelling on their own in one room? Perhaps ask them for that contribution and you pay the rest? Or just split in half so you all get some cost benefit from travelling together. But to ask them for 2/3 of the cost, when this may well be higher than booking separately doesn't seem very fair to me.

timeisnotaline · 10/02/2022 09:37

Absolutely @Fairyliz we have reasonably high salaries but my retired parents have far more disposable income, with no mortgage no childcare or school fees.

rookiemere · 10/02/2022 09:40

The default for any holiday split is that no one should be paying more than if they booked it separately.

Dividing it by 3 adults may mean DPs pay more if there's any additional costs for under occupancy. Dividing it by 4 means that OP shares the child free reduction, but as she wouldn't have got it without the others coming along, perhaps that's fair.

It's clear that the DSM does not want to subsidise OPs holiday- that's fair enough- and conversely OP doesn't want to subsidise DSMs - again fair enough.

I guess what I'm trying to say is it doesn't matter what other families do or who is better off, if it's based on a factual maths based split.

Needdoughnuts · 10/02/2022 09:55

Gosh. Why can't you all 'benefit'? Or do you want to 'benefit' more than your sm? Lovely way to start a holiday! Remember that you would always have paid for two adult prices without them so I can't see that paying half would be the end of the world. Stop thinking that they are 'benefitting'.
3/7 and 4/7 is fair and is the way to work out shares when various children are involved. (Child = 1 share, adult = 2). Ask them if they would consider that a good compromise.

Arabellla · 10/02/2022 10:36

Are you a single mum?

Your dad needs to stand up for you.

Original poster
Mumstheword8 · 10/02/2022 10:41

@Arabellla

Are you a single mum?

Your dad needs to stand up for you.

Yes single parent and my son is 5. Ridiculous we have to pay 2 full adult prices if I wanted to take him on my own isn't it.
OP posts:
LizzieMacQueen · 10/02/2022 10:43

Plenty have suggested a third option. Where you pay 1.5/3.5 of the cost, they pay 2/3.5 of the cost. Means your child is paying 50% of an adult cost. Seems fair especially as you would not get the 'free' space without 2 adults. Why not suggest that?

toomuchlaundry · 10/02/2022 10:47

@timeisnotaline you would have more disposable income if you didn’t pay school fees, they are not a standard living cost.

I hope there aren’t adult children out there expecting their parents who are just about surviving on a state pension and who don’t own property to pay for their family holiday.

Stompythedinosaur · 10/02/2022 10:51

Pay the flights per person and the accommodation per room.

Wnkingawalrus · 10/02/2022 10:52

Who suggested/organised the holiday? If it was genuinely the three of you and it just so happens the child’s place is free, with it being AI I would split 3 ways. If it was DD and partner joining onto a holiday you were thinking of I would say you need to pay more than 1/3.

timeisnotaline · 10/02/2022 10:52

[quote toomuchlaundry]@timeisnotaline you would have more disposable income if you didn’t pay school fees, they are not a standard living cost.

I hope there aren’t adult children out there expecting their parents who are just about surviving on a state pension and who don’t own property to pay for their family holiday.[/quote]
Fair, but school fees was just an example. I’m actually years off paying school fees, and they won’t cost any more than the childcare fees that we pay now to enable dh and I to both hold down good jobs.

thisdayistoolong · 10/02/2022 10:58

@Mumstheword8

It is an all inclusive package holiday and was booked on price per person with a free child place but somehow feel like I'm at wrong asking it to be split into 3 because of the free child place
Would you have got the free child place if it was just you and child going? You usually need at least two full paying adults to get this kind of offer?
thisdayistoolong · 10/02/2022 10:59

@Drivingish

So how much would it be if you booked on your own for you and your son and if they booked for the two of them without you? Would you get the free child place anyway if booking just for you (and son)?
This is a good starting point
melj1213 · 10/02/2022 10:59

I would split it 40/60 that way every adult is paying the same 30% pp and then the extra 10% covers the subsidy that will have been added to the overall cost to cover the "free" child place.

So if it was £2000 - the OP pays £800 and the parents pay £1200, each adult is paying £600 and then the £200 difference covers the subsidy for OPs son.

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