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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Just out of interest - have many of you looked up old ex’s on social media

89 replies

Whohashiddenthebiscuits · 09/02/2022 17:09

No biggie just curious if I’m in the complete minority! DH & I were watching a programme last night in which the central character looks up an ex on Facebook and makes contact with them. Which started a conversation about looking up previous partners etc up on social media.

DH knows I’ve done that (I don’t think it’s a big deal and what many of us do.. I think, maybe this post will prove otherwise!) and his opinion was that it was ‘pretty weird and stalkery’ and he wouldn’t think to even look. He wouldn’t have it that this might just be normal curiousity and what many others might actually have done too!

(For the record, at one point or the other I’ve checked out ex boyfriends on Facebook & LinkedIn just to see how their lives & careers turned out, whether they seem to have got married etc. But just to be clear, I’ve only done this as a one off snoop which I think is a million miles away from regularly checking their social media which I do think falls into the stalkery bracket! The only ex I’ve ever sent a friends request too is my ex university boyfriend who is a good friend!)

OP posts:
IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 09/02/2022 17:10

Yep

XenoBitch · 09/02/2022 17:12

Most of mine are on my social media anyway. There are only a couple that I absolutely jettisoned from my life. I could not give a fuck how they are doing tbh.

SirChenjins · 09/02/2022 17:12

Often Grin I even keep in touch with a couple them, all very friendly and boring - we share stories of families, jobs etc.

loves2plan · 09/02/2022 17:14

Not ashamed to say I do sometimes 😂 either when they pop up as tagged in something or sometimes if they just pop into my head

LethargeMarg · 09/02/2022 17:14

Yes and annoyingly none of mine are anywhere on social media- very strange and frustrating for someone as nosy as me !! I wouldn't like the idea of DH doing this though

Chakraleaf · 09/02/2022 17:15

Yes, but only to be nosey and nothing else. Just intrigue. But there's no feeling of hate or love or anything.

BrennieGirl · 09/02/2022 17:18

Yes of course I have. I don't believe anyone who says they haven't.

MrsGHarrison87 · 09/02/2022 17:19

When I'm bored out of curiosity and I'm not really bothered about what I find.

AndAnotherNewOne · 09/02/2022 17:20

Yes. Not just old boyfriends, though. School and university friends as well. Just to see how they are. All people I liked, not interested in those I didn't.

Longdistance · 09/02/2022 17:23

One tried to friend me in fb, he got blocked (complete psycho). I see one post regularly on a local site, though I haven’t looked at his profile as I don’t care that much.

cuno · 09/02/2022 17:26

I don't have social media but my partner does and I once had the nerve to ask him to search Facebook for my ex from when I was 16 just so I could have a nose. Well he did and we both had a good nose! If I had social media I'd probably be a nosy cow, looking up random people and exes from my life, but not checking in on the same people regularly. I think it's quite normal.

NCforThis2022 · 09/02/2022 17:28

I keep in touch with a few. They're good people, and we were friends first. But there's one who wasn't so good, we weren't friends first, but we have mutual friends. His life seems to have become a bit of a car crash reality TV storyline. I have checked social media to watch the drama occasionally, just to remind myself that I had a very lucky escape.

ughwhatnow · 09/02/2022 17:32

Yes of course. What else is social media for? Grin

I'm FB-level friends with most of my exes anyway, but I do sometimes casually twitter-stalk another ex if his tweets pop up uninvited on my timeline. I don't follow him but he's a minor 'name' in his field and some celebs I follow re-tweet him (mostly when he makes the same old jokes he was making in the pub 25 years ago...) so I sometimes have a look at what he's up to then.

TedMullins · 09/02/2022 17:34

Yes! It’s weirder that he hasn’t!

Nomoreusernames1244 · 09/02/2022 17:34

Yep- i saw a name the other day which was the same as my first boyfriend at uni, hadn’t thought about him in years.

So had a quick google, he’s now some top private surgeon with loads of awards and honours.

However, while he was good looking and fit at uni, he now looks very much like Gollum.

No regrets 😂

RogersVideo · 09/02/2022 17:35

Yep I occasionally check and see what they are up to these days. I think it's perfectly normal to wonder what people you used to be close with went on to do.

LemonSwan · 09/02/2022 17:38

Yes about once every 6 months to a year to have a nosey.

I am friends with all my exs except one. His fbook makes me irritated as he always seems to do things the same time - buy a house, get a kitten, have a child etc. Its pretty weird.

Whohashiddenthebiscuits · 09/02/2022 17:42

@TedMullins, I agree! Even if you parted absolutely hating each other’s guts you’d have a nosey (in the hope that life perhaps hadn’t been all sunshine and kittens!)

OP posts:
Elphame · 09/02/2022 17:52

Of the 4 I could find, one has just been widowed, one was killed in an accident and the 3rd seems to be doing OK but I can only find him on Linked In.

He seems to be doing pretty well from the job role but I can't find any personal details at all.

The 4th has turned out exactly as I would have expected which is why I ditched him. He also hasn't aged well at all.

Georgeskitchen · 09/02/2022 18:04

Yes I found a couple of them ( just for a nosy) from 30+ years ago and none of them have aged well 😉

GTAlogic · 09/02/2022 18:07

Yea I've looked at old exes. Some I haven't found, others I've had a nosey and then blocked them! One has his own company based not far away from where I live, another is married with 3 dc and I feel so sorry for her and another has a photo of him climbing a mountain and nothing else. One ex went to prison for having indecent images on a work's laptop: I had a very lucky escape from him.

ChipButtyCurrySauce · 09/02/2022 18:12

I once looked up an ex on Facebook. 13 years on we're married with DC!

whiteworldgettingwhiter · 09/02/2022 18:13

I have. Of course!! I think it's normal...

qualitygirl · 09/02/2022 18:14

No need to look him up as I'm friends with him on Facebook still.(only have the one)

junglejane66 · 09/02/2022 18:16

I have and I've also sat outside their house in my car at night to try to and see a glimpse of them, does that make me weird?