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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want to invite sibling a year younger?

105 replies

JaggedStone · 07/02/2022 16:43

Trying to sort out DD birthday (will be 7) in a couple of months and asking DD who she would like to invite and one girl has a sibling who is a year younger and I am sure the mum will ask if she can come? It’s likely to be a party at home due to finances so not a strict cap on numbers but obviously I’m then in charge of more girls.
I don’t particularly want the sibling to attend but am not sure what to say?
Surely it’s unfair for siblings to go to all parties when they haven’t been invited and they then get to go to double the parties.

OP posts:
BBCONEANDTWO · 07/02/2022 16:44

You could let her come but say the mum has to stay as well.

BurscoughBooths · 07/02/2022 16:45

Just say no

Chasingsquirrels · 07/02/2022 16:46

Of course it isn't unreasonable.
And would be bloody cheeky of the other parent to ask.
Paying for a sibling to attend an open soft play type place at the same time is one thing, but asking for an invite to a home party is another entirely.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 07/02/2022 16:46

Eh? Why would she ask for the sibling to come too? Just say no because you haven’t got room for another.

Toanewstart23 · 07/02/2022 16:48

Why don’t you just do a drop off?

I’m a single parent and for parties where he parents stayed, I HAD to bring my youngest or decline the invite

Dinosaursdontgrowontrees · 07/02/2022 16:50

I’m currently organising ds 6th birthday 4 people so far have asked if siblings are welcome. I find it so rude. I have 3 children I would never do this.

CrimbleCrumble1 · 07/02/2022 16:50

Just say sorry no you don’t have space. Is it a drop off party?

SpiderVersed · 07/02/2022 16:50

Of course you don’t have to have siblings as well.

Get your answer ready and practice it so you don’t feel flustered at the time. “No, that’s not convenient,” or “we’re not having siblings this year,” or whatever phrase you are comfortable with.

billy1966 · 07/02/2022 16:51

Only CF's do this.

It is not a school picnic, it is your childs birthday and by invitation only.

I would go off someone who asked.

Over the years there were times I was told to bring an extra sibling if it suited, but I would never dream of asking, ever.

MargaretThursday · 07/02/2022 16:51

Answer: "No, sorry I've only got enough stuff and space for the girls coming" (don't give numbers or she'll count them and say you have enough) "But don't worry, I'm not asking parents to stay."

Ileflottante · 07/02/2022 16:52

Sorry if this is harsh, but why are you getting upset about a situation that may not happen at a seven-year-old’s birthday party in two months time?

BorderlineHappy · 07/02/2022 16:52

Just put on the invite,no siblings allowed.

SheWolfOFFrancee · 07/02/2022 16:53

Make it clear on the invitation. I’ve had parties where I’m happy for siblings to stay and others where it’s just not convenient

So I say something like
“Siblings are welcome to attend but please let me know in advance for numbers of food”
Or
“Unfortunately we are unable to accommodate siblings at this party.”

Isonthecase · 07/02/2022 16:56

I don't understand why it's so rude to ask if siblings are invited if it's not clear? Just make it clear on the invite - due to numbers we won't be able to accommodate siblings at the party. Drama resolved.

Thehop · 07/02/2022 16:57

“Ooh can Alice come”

“Sadly not this time, it’s just for the older ones.”

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 07/02/2022 16:58

Expecting parents to stay... its a choice between people not coming or having a few siblings (obviously paying for themselves, no food and party bag)
Drop and go... no siblings required.

SheWoreYellow · 07/02/2022 16:59

Just say ‘no, we’re a bit tight for space’.

chilli1212 · 07/02/2022 16:59

Put on the invite that you are not able to accommodate siblings.

Chasingsquirrels · 07/02/2022 16:59

@Isonthecase

I don't understand why it's so rude to ask if siblings are invited if it's not clear? Just make it clear on the invite - due to numbers we won't be able to accommodate siblings at the party. Drama resolved.
Because the invite is to the named child, not to the siblings.
Toanewstart23 · 07/02/2022 17:00

@Dinosaursdontgrowontrees

I’m currently organising ds 6th birthday 4 people so far have asked if siblings are welcome. I find it so rude. I have 3 children I would never do this.
Are you expecting the parents to stay? Perhaps they are single parents
Sharrowgirl · 07/02/2022 17:00

I always hear about doing this but it’s never actually happened to me.

‘Sorry, I’m not doing siblings this time, I’ve organised it as a set number of DDs friends. It’s a drop off though so you don’t worry, you didn’t need to find childcare for sibling’

Chasingsquirrels · 07/02/2022 17:00

But then at 7, for a party at home, I'd not expect the parents to stay either.

Sharrowgirl · 07/02/2022 17:01

*so don’t worry you don’t need to find childcare for sibling

BruceAndNosh · 07/02/2022 17:02

@Isonthecase

I don't understand why it's so rude to ask if siblings are invited if it's not clear? Just make it clear on the invite - due to numbers we won't be able to accommodate siblings at the party. Drama resolved.
Because you are assuming the default position is Siblings are Welcome unless told otherwise. The polite thing is to assume No Siblings unless the invite says otherwise
Crazycrazylady · 07/02/2022 17:03

I'd just say you've said no to some
Siblings already so need to be consistent I'm not allowing them. I'm sure your understand as otherwise there could be more siblings around than pals ... tinkle laugh