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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Toddler pack lunch in cafes

548 replies

Casheeeew · 07/02/2022 14:51

I eat a about 3 cafes near me regularly, but only once per week, occasionally twice. I have always taken my son (18months) a full packed lunch, and I buy myself lunch and a coffee.

Its never occured to me to question this until today. Is he too old to be having home brought food?

They do have a kids menu but I prefer him to have a selection of things to pick at that I know he'll like.

Aibu - or if not, how long before he's too old?

OP posts:
JustBlethering · 07/02/2022 20:18

@User1367349

Going against the grain here, but I’m willing to bet most of the people on here don’t have under 2s. Only on mumsnet will you get berated for this. Everyone I know with under 2s brings food. Possibly they buy some too (although allergies make this basically impossible for us). Cafes are half empty and grateful for the custom.
I have a 14 month old (and a 5yo).
SpaghettiArmsMurderer · 07/02/2022 20:22

@User1367349

Going against the grain here, but I’m willing to bet most of the people on here don’t have under 2s. Only on mumsnet will you get berated for this. Everyone I know with under 2s brings food. Possibly they buy some too (although allergies make this basically impossible for us). Cafes are half empty and grateful for the custom.
I didn’t realise having an under 2 gave you free licence to be a CF
withlotsoflove · 07/02/2022 20:23

Aha! 6 pages so far.
Just knew this’d take off! 😂

ButtockUp · 07/02/2022 20:24

I know... why don't we all pack a picnic hamper and schlepp off to our nearest Costa/Pret/Nero/Indy cafe and just buy a small cappuccino to secure a table for two hours?

Bonkers yes, but unless you have a weaning baby/toddler then you really shouldn't be taking your own food.

SazCat · 07/02/2022 20:39

I'd say up to 12 months this is OK. After that, the odd snacky bit maybe but I'd be buying them something from the cafe too. Most do fruit, toast, cakes, something surely!

We took DD on holiday at 14 months and I ordered her either a childs meal /starter/side dish each time we went out for a meal. Granted sometimes they were big portions, but she loved getting stuck in. Oh and occasionally she had chips, nothing wrong with that surely if it's not all the time?!

User1367349 · 07/02/2022 20:47

Like I said… only on mumsnet 😂

User1367349 · 07/02/2022 20:50

Also, what parallel universe is everyone in where cafes are full right now?

RandomQuest · 07/02/2022 20:53

@User1367349

Also, what parallel universe is everyone in where cafes are full right now?
They all are where I live. Queues round the block for the good ones at weekends. Maybe it’s your area 🤷‍♀️
User1367349 · 07/02/2022 20:57

@RandomQuest and on a random Wednesday middle of the day?

Thesearmsofmine · 07/02/2022 21:02

@User1367349

Also, what parallel universe is everyone in where cafes are full right now?
The cafes in my town are always busy. Different people depending on the cafe hut yes always busy even midweek.
BrambleRoses · 07/02/2022 21:03

I have a one year old and while I have given him a ride cake or baby biscuit to gnaw on in cafes while I talk to friends I haven’t given him a packed lunch!

Lifeisaminestrone · 07/02/2022 21:03

I get very annoyed when i see people do this! I particularly hate it when they have those healthy wotsits making a mess.
I always bought something for mine, or I’d buy a bigger portion (larger pizza say)/ add a side and share.
It’s particularly poor form when hospitality has been so impacted by covid.

Thesearmsofmine · 07/02/2022 21:03

OP just let him have a bit of yours if he still eats tiny amounts or ask for a very small portion of something , I’ve never taken food with me for mine even when weaning they would have a bit off my plate and gradually build up to their own meal.

RandomQuest · 07/02/2022 21:13

[quote User1367349]@RandomQuest and on a random Wednesday middle of the day?[/quote]
Yes definitely, always busy!

yourestandingonmyneck · 07/02/2022 21:15

I also don't really see it as a problem as long as I'm buying something.

My kids often don't want to eat at the same time as me. So I'll quite often order for myself; give them a snack or sandwich from the bag and if they don't eat it, fine, they can have it later.

It would be totally impractical and such a waste to buy them something that would have to then just get scraped into the bin.

MotherWol · 07/02/2022 21:20

I did this with both of mine; I live in a bit of London that’s more young people than families so it’s not that common for cafés to have a kids menu or child-friendly snacks on offer, and there’s no way I’d order a £5 cheese toastie for an 18 month old. Genuine lol at the idea of asking the staff in Pret to cut the crusts off for you. OP, maybe check with your local if it’s okay?

DappledThings · 07/02/2022 21:22

[quote User1367349]@RandomQuest and on a random Wednesday middle of the day?[/quote]
Couldn't get into one of our favourites on Tuesday last week, two groups already queueing outside so we went elsewhere and got the last table at the next place.

MissTrip82 · 07/02/2022 21:33

Interested in the comments that there’s nothing wrong as one person is buying a meal.

All those posters go out for dinner with another adult and take their own food because the other person is a paying customer?

AuntyJanet · 07/02/2022 21:35

DD is 18 months and we take snacks but will buy her something off the menu. There’s always something they can have, even if it’s just toast.

Nameandgamechange123 · 07/02/2022 21:36

I would totally do this and have seen many many other people doing it. As long as you are buying food and drink for yourself I think that's totally cool. It's really unrelaxing if you have a hungry child that doesn't really like anything on the menu. Defeats the object of going out. Soon your child will refuse to eat anything other than bought goods so id make the most!

PrivateHall · 07/02/2022 21:38

I see nothing wrong with this op to be honest, given you are buying a portion of food for yourself. I am actually sat with a cafe owner right now who says they are ok with it too! Your little one is still a baby really.

FudgeSundae · 07/02/2022 21:39

I have a baby and a 2 year old and we live a bus/car ride from the nearest city. When the baby needs feeding and changing, a cafe is the only place out of the cold with a loo. Thinking about my local Nero’s, they have a selection of HUGE and often stale cakes and pastries which are much too big for my toddler, some chocolate covered coffee beans (no), fizzy drinks, or massive paninis and toasties full of mayo which are like 600 calories each and my toddler wouldn’t touch. I get her a babycino and give her a rice cake or a banana from home. I always clear up properly afterwards, including yes crawling around on the floor with wet wipes if that’s what it takes. Those of you who think that’s CF, how do you feed your babies on a rainy day while keeping your toddler quiet??!

Woahthehorsey · 07/02/2022 21:40

I've honestly never thought it acceptable to do this. I've always fed them something off my plate or bought a slice of toast or a banana for them.

headintheproverbial · 07/02/2022 21:46

At 18 months I don't think they'd mind. If he won't like what they offer why not take him a few things from home but buy him water / milk, fruit and bread (eg) from the cafe.

Tee20x · 07/02/2022 21:54

This is weird. What's the difference between OP buying lunch for herself and sitting there with her son who doesn't eat?

Of course she can bring him packed lunch if he prefers that. Some kids just prefer specific things.

Whether she buys him something or not it's the same amount of space being taken up!

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