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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Toddler pack lunch in cafes

548 replies

Casheeeew · 07/02/2022 14:51

I eat a about 3 cafes near me regularly, but only once per week, occasionally twice. I have always taken my son (18months) a full packed lunch, and I buy myself lunch and a coffee.

Its never occured to me to question this until today. Is he too old to be having home brought food?

They do have a kids menu but I prefer him to have a selection of things to pick at that I know he'll like.

Aibu - or if not, how long before he's too old?

OP posts:
TheWaterNokk · 07/02/2022 18:28

God my kids lived on toast since they were big enough to sit in a high chair 😳 is this one of those “a ham sandwich is a treat akin to a slice of cake” threads?

CecilyP · 07/02/2022 18:29

There's nothing wrong with fish fingers and chips sometimes. If that was all the child ate it would be a different matter but once a week is nice. Mine used to have fish fingers or sausages and chips in a cafe at that age, with peas. He liked eating out.

Mine liked eating out too but had no interest in anything like that from the kids menu (maybe kid’s menu are more imaginative these days!). So he’d usually have something from the staters. But kids menus are probably aimed at 4 to 7 year olds so way too much food at 18 months- most of it would probably end up in the bin.

paintfairy · 07/02/2022 18:32

I don't think it's a problem? 18 months old isn't that old? And some kids might not really want to eat much at the time you are there. You are paying for food and drink and so it's not like you are not spending money. If it were my cafe I would honestly not give it a second thought.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 07/02/2022 18:32

But kids menus are probably aimed at 4 to 7 year olds so way too much food at 18 months- most of it would probably end up in the bin.

You can ask for toddler portions.

But cafés budget for kids wasting lots of food anyway :)

Clarefromwork · 07/02/2022 18:33

Don’t worry op, we are cf lock down mums still getting used to the novelty of being able to take our toddlers out for lunch.
Forgive us, our social etiquette may be a little off.

(I’m joking of course, before I get a load of aggy replies!!)

Veryverycalmnow · 07/02/2022 18:33

I must have spent so much money on food my DS won't touch, just to sneak food we'd brought with us under the table, haha. He's picky, but I like going to the cafe. Or give him something on the way and then buy him a bit of cake for pudding in the cafe.
I don't judge you for only just realising this. I think we were still doing it occasionally when he was 18 months to be honest.

3cats4poniesandababy · 07/02/2022 18:33

I always buy my son something or share mine with him. He is just a little younger than 18 months. I will often take some fruit with me but only if we are also eatinga main meal.

Longingforsunshine · 07/02/2022 18:34

At that age I used to share with DD. At the time she was dairy free but there is a chain cafe that does a lovely vegan toastie we would share and a vegan Crossaint. I would then take a piece of fruit for her and she would drink water while I had a coffee. Sometimes she even ate the whole toastie herself and I could have a non-vegan one Grin
I do take snacks and let DD eat them in a cafe if we are eating a main meal (think buy the sandwich but let her eat some crisps I have brought with me while we wait for it) she’s a big fan of a babychino now which is fab as they are free (in Costa anyway!)

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 07/02/2022 18:39

I think it's OK at 18 months. At 2 or 3 he'll be able to get something off kids menu. Have the cafe even said anything?

DappledThings · 07/02/2022 18:39

I still share with DD half the time and she's 4. Jacket potatoes are usually massive and the easiest thing for sharing. DS is nearly 6 and it's really in the last 6 months he's reliably eaten most of any lunch out.

Still not brought my own sandwiches to eat anywhere other than a park. But I do like the easy option and can't stand making a packed lunch. Lazy sharing wins over packed lunch effort every time!

Binfairy · 07/02/2022 18:48

Until last year, I worked in the cafe of a cultural venue. We had horrendous problems with parents doing this, and our managers expected us to challenge customers on this issue. The mess was unbelievable, (very few cleared up) and the worst was a group of parents bringing in a full size birthday cake and full Tupperware picnic. YABU.

VivX · 07/02/2022 18:55

Definitely YABU and a CF to bring your own food once baby is beyond baby food pouch/jar stage. A cafe's business is literally selling food to people sitting at their tables.

BoredZelda · 07/02/2022 19:12

There was rarely anything on a cafe menu my daughter would eat so we generally took food with us but would buy her a drink. If you are a full paying customer, I can’t see an issue with it. They have to clean the table whether there’s a toddler there or not and anyone who isn’t cleaning up the toddler part of the mess, whether they are paying for a meal for them or not, is taking the piss.

AgathaAllAlong · 07/02/2022 19:12

I have an extremely fussy child, I usually bring his packed lunch and also buy him something from the cafe. When he inevitably fails to eat the cafe food I give him his lunch I bought with me.

Cheeseontoastforlunch · 07/02/2022 19:14

At that age it’s not unreasonable. I’d bring extra bits/fruit and share my sandwich with him. Once he was about 2 he’d eat a whole adult sandwich so I never bought the kids lunch boxes! The boxes usually have half sandwich, crisps, biscuit, fruit if lucky and juice. He couldn’t have the juice or biscuit (allergies) so better off with full sized sandwich!

TrippinEdBalls · 07/02/2022 19:22

They have to clean the table whether there’s a toddler there or not and anyone who isn’t cleaning up the toddler part of the mess, whether they are paying for a meal for them or not, is taking the piss.

Even when people do their absolute best there's always more mess for the staff than from an adult. You need cleaning products and equipment to make that not true and although I always ask for a dustpan and brush in a cafe if my child has made a mess in my experience they never actually give you one, you get waved away!

pippinpuppy · 07/02/2022 19:29

I take my 2 year old food but he has 3 things he's anaphylactic to. I always ask what the cafe has to cater for him and they often say nothing, in which case he eats his own.
If they have something suitable I'd buy him food there.

Gwenhwyfar · 07/02/2022 19:30

@TrippinEdBalls

They have to clean the table whether there’s a toddler there or not and anyone who isn’t cleaning up the toddler part of the mess, whether they are paying for a meal for them or not, is taking the piss.

Even when people do their absolute best there's always more mess for the staff than from an adult. You need cleaning products and equipment to make that not true and although I always ask for a dustpan and brush in a cafe if my child has made a mess in my experience they never actually give you one, you get waved away!

Exactly. It's more mess than an adult and obviously more mess than a table for two just used by one person.
SparkleTwinkle101 · 07/02/2022 19:32

Oh! My DS is 2.5yrs and we still bring him a packed lunch as I know he'll eat it

Loti92 · 07/02/2022 19:34

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

HauntedPencil · 07/02/2022 19:36

I don't think it's awful if you are buying yourself a lunch - I'd probably order something like toast for mine and usually would have bits in my bag at that age - it's a bit ripe if you are just having coffee

An 18mo is still a bit young to eat a child's meal

IWasFunBeforeMum · 07/02/2022 19:43

I'm in the minority - I see nothing wrong with this. Some cafe portions won't suit and you not want to share. Unless the cafe says it's an issue to take your food then carry on!! Don't overthink it!

AmazingBouncingFerret · 07/02/2022 19:56

Doesn’t bother me at all.
As long as it is all put on the tray so it’s easier to clear up then crack on.

User1367349 · 07/02/2022 20:07

Going against the grain here, but I’m willing to bet most of the people on here don’t have under 2s. Only on mumsnet will you get berated for this. Everyone I know with under 2s brings food. Possibly they buy some too (although allergies make this basically impossible for us). Cafes are half empty and grateful for the custom.

HardbackWriter · 07/02/2022 20:10

@User1367349

Going against the grain here, but I’m willing to bet most of the people on here don’t have under 2s. Only on mumsnet will you get berated for this. Everyone I know with under 2s brings food. Possibly they buy some too (although allergies make this basically impossible for us). Cafes are half empty and grateful for the custom.
I have a three year old and a one year old and I have never taken my own food to a cafe for either of them.