Tell me you're a parent without telling me you're a parent

[TerribleTuna]

I'll go...

I've watched the same animated film every day for 2 weeks 🙃

I spend too much time on Mumsnet whilst hiding in the toilet....

Needing a wee for 2 hours without being able to get to the loo is classic mum.

We have piles of ‘special’ sticks, stones and shells at the front door.

I have grabbed the hand of the random lady next to me at lights. It was the red man and she was just going to walk and I just reacted and she didn’t look very impressed that I’d saved her….

I’ve also smacked DHs hand away from the stove when he tried to taste what I was cooking. Together with a loud “No. Hot. HOT.”

And sung along really loudly to I’m a little teapot in the car when it was playing on the CD player only to realise that the toddler is already at nursery.

£50 transfer - "Don't spend it all on beer this evening"

I skip round the supermarket when I’m on my own like it’s a day at a spa. It’s actually a treat.

@Chasingaftermidnight

I read the Julia Donaldson books so often I’m surprised when I open other books and they aren’t written in rhyming couplets.

Me too! It takes me a while to stop reading any other books not in that style. More difficult than I would have ever expected!

Something about me attempting to have a bath alone makes everyone else in the house suddenly need a poo. And that includes my husband.

On my desk at work I have a stone that’s been painted with nail varnish as a paperweight

I'm never not tired

Sitting in the car in the dark garage when I arrive home has become 'me' time

I drink tea from a travel mug in the house

"No The sun is not up yet!"

We don't talk about Bruno

Oh no no

I regularly throw away stacks of valuable artworks made by a leading proponent of the Beautiful Pickshers School.

These are mostly highly experimental portraits of my family with varying numbers of eyes, no legs, and lugubrious expressions.

The artist works extremely fast, often producing several works in the time it takes me to load the dishwasher. Each work must be subject to the critical opinion: "it's lovely" before I can do anything else.

I'm currently laying in the dark on a bedroom floor wondering if the light from my phone is too bright.

@mathanxiety

Sometimes when I close my eyes I can still hear songs from The Lion King 2.

Brilliant 😂😂😂

I could win Mastermind with my specialist knowledge of Thomas the Tank Engine.

I go to bed at 9pm because it’s the only way I can get enough sleep.

I have a packet of paper straws and a box of Peppa Pig plasters in my handbag.

@AreWeThereYetMummy

I'm currently laying in the dark on a bedroom floor wondering if the light from my phone is too bright.

Felt this one in my soul

I have a favourite pup from Paw Patrol.

I’d like to personally thank the inventor of the buggy board.

I often tell the (9yo) children in my class to sit on their ‘botty’ or get a ‘wipey’ for their nose.

I haven’t slept without a small limpet in the crook of my arm for over six months (I wonder whose birth that might coincide with, DD2?).

It is not unusual in our house to be summoned to inspect and rate someone else’s poo.

I have an array of artwork on the fridge that I daren’t get rid of in case it gets back to preschool that I binned it.

@AreWeThereYetMummy

I'm currently laying in the dark on a bedroom floor wondering if the light from my phone is too bright.

Every night.

I haven't slept more than a 2 hour block in three years.

@AreWeThereYetMummy

I'm currently laying in the dark on a bedroom floor wondering if the light from my phone is too bright.

Yup. And either you fall asleep there and your DH has to wake you up to actually go to bed, or you push though that only to hear a voice saying “Mummy?” every time you move.

@KitBumbleB

I have a favourite episode of Peppa Pig

Is it the whistling one? If so, me too.

I buy biscuits and treats in quantities of at least 2 when on offer, and hide the extra on the top shelf until the first bought item has been consumed/ravaged.

I currently cannot find either of the tv remote controls in my house

When it goes quiet upstairs I fear the worst.....