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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what you’re doing awake post-midnight? Part 2: Insomnia Strikes Back

987 replies

5YearsLeft · 05/02/2022 11:24

Bit awkward to start this in the middle of the day, but I wanted to be able to link it on the old thread before it completely fills. Meanwhile, even though right now it’s not post-midnight, if you’re having a day-after hangover from insomnia, feel free to post. Whether it’s from poorly children or babies or pets or OHs, whether it’s grief or fear or anxiety or other losses, whether it’s work stress or home stress or just LIFE stress, we get it. You’re not yelling into the void; you’re sharing with people who have been stuck wide awake, too.

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Chichimcgee · 08/02/2022 01:01

I always run the washer at night.
Dryers terrify me though, I won’t even use one in the day. Something to do with the lint?
Not sure what the issue with a washer or dishwasher would be

JustSomething · 08/02/2022 01:08

[quote 5YearsLeft]@JustSomething While I know they want us to be careful about appliances, I do think a lot of those fires are caused by blocked ducts and full lint filters and blocked outflows and the like (and very old machines). So while I would be careful, don’t worry yourself too much. Do check all the filters, and maybe don’t run it when you’re not home, but a lot of people have to run these machines at night, and it’s fine. Please don’t torture yourself with extra worry. You already have so much you’re dealing with. And it sounds like you’re in a slump already, so you don’t need more. Maybe it is depression; the only real difference between a slump and depression is how long they last, it seems like. So the question is how long has every day seemed a little bit worse, and how long do you think you can keep facing it? If you’re not sure if the answer to the first part and then answer to the second part is, “I can’t face it much longer,” it might be time to ring the GP. And depression can be temporary. Taking medication for depression can be temporary. Situational depression is definitely a thing. When life is kicking you, who wouldn’t be struggling?!? So try to be gentle with yourself. Do not feel guilty! And don’t worry about how much of your house is depressed. It doesn’t matter whether 100% of your house is depressed; you’re allowed to get ill, and it’s an illness like any other that can happen to anyone. I hope maybe tomorrow, not that it’s all sunshine and rainbows, but maybe you have just one day off from more new small bad things happenings. We all need a day off to catch our breath sometimes. I have all my fingers crossed for you.[/quote]
Thanks 5 years. You see the thing that worries me is I've got no idea where the filters are. I'll try look into it tomorrow. If I remember. Or if I'm still bothered tom%rrow. I'm stuPid that way. Inconsistent.

Thanks for everything else you've written as well. You are right of course. I just want all problems to go away and for life to just be easy and light somehow. I wonder if that's possible at all. If nothing else there is always good old climate change to worry about.

5YearsLeft · 08/02/2022 01:20

@AllOfUsAreDead Ah, sorry to see you back! Hope the pills kick in and the pain lessens soon!!!

@JustSomething You’re not stupid! You’d know if the outflows and things were blocked as either the water wouldn’t be draining correctly or you’d have damp and mold. As for the filters, I do think @Chichimcgee is correct that I’m mostly thinking of lint in dryers, and that most fires are caused by tumble dryers that have full lint filters. But I would imagine that it’s the electric wires in either of them. As long as you keep them all in good kit, you should be okay. It’s so normal to just want life to be easy, to feel like problems are mounting and they just get bigger. I don’t know if it’s possible. Obviously, I’m not a good person to ask if the easy life is out there (the username is a dead, ha, giveaway), but the thing I’ve discovered about life is… if (as far as you know) you have more than five years to go, you’re doing absolute aces in my book, lol. So, climate change, politicians being raging arseholes, corporations being greedy so and so’s, I just can’t waste the time I do have letting it ruin what good days I have (since I don’t always have good days). And if your life is difficult right now, and I know so so many people on the thread have difficult lives right now you included, I recommend not letting the bigger worries inside your door (if it’s an option - I know for those with anxiety, it isn’t always). You already have it so tough without more. If you have five minutes without worries tomorrow… grab them. I can’t say anything about the rest of the day, maybe it will be awful, but if you have those five minutes, at least they’re something, and you deserve them and so much more.

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Coroico97 · 08/02/2022 01:23

@Tallisimo @Alleycat1 Hi both, got straight to sleep which was amazing but now awake with left outside of knee throbbing and busy leg. Ugh. I gave up with Naproxen but was taking them with Zapain which is codeine I think but did nothing. Yes had an MRI to see where problem lay. It showed bulging disc. Most sciatica sorts itself after 6-8 weeks. Mine didn’t. Have had two spinal injections - steroids - which eased pain for about 6 weeks each time. Idea is it may fix itself during this time. Have spoken to several people for whom this worked. Not me. Comes back with a vengeance. Now next step is a discectomy. Have had second MRI to check what’s what as last one six months ago. Surgery on 23rd. Thank god for medical insurance. Hope you not suffering too much. And a big warm hello to you @5YearsLeft.

JustSomething · 08/02/2022 01:26

[quote 5YearsLeft]@AllOfUsAreDead Ah, sorry to see you back! Hope the pills kick in and the pain lessens soon!!!

@JustSomething You’re not stupid! You’d know if the outflows and things were blocked as either the water wouldn’t be draining correctly or you’d have damp and mold. As for the filters, I do think @Chichimcgee is correct that I’m mostly thinking of lint in dryers, and that most fires are caused by tumble dryers that have full lint filters. But I would imagine that it’s the electric wires in either of them. As long as you keep them all in good kit, you should be okay. It’s so normal to just want life to be easy, to feel like problems are mounting and they just get bigger. I don’t know if it’s possible. Obviously, I’m not a good person to ask if the easy life is out there (the username is a dead, ha, giveaway), but the thing I’ve discovered about life is… if (as far as you know) you have more than five years to go, you’re doing absolute aces in my book, lol. So, climate change, politicians being raging arseholes, corporations being greedy so and so’s, I just can’t waste the time I do have letting it ruin what good days I have (since I don’t always have good days). And if your life is difficult right now, and I know so so many people on the thread have difficult lives right now you included, I recommend not letting the bigger worries inside your door (if it’s an option - I know for those with anxiety, it isn’t always). You already have it so tough without more. If you have five minutes without worries tomorrow… grab them. I can’t say anything about the rest of the day, maybe it will be awful, but if you have those five minutes, at least they’re something, and you deserve them and so much more.[/quote]
Yes. True. You are very wise. Thank you. :-)

Chichimcgee · 08/02/2022 01:34

Someone in the house has covid, not sure if I said before, sleep deprived brain! Because of the situation and the address being top secret we’re not allowed deliveries so can’t order food or takeaway or anything and because I’m not vaccinated I have to isolate for 7 days. Can’t ask anyone to drop anything off so I’m hoping that the staff member in tomorrow can pick up a click and collect order for me.
I feel so cheeky and horrible asking and we get free food here but being vegetarian/gluten free, asd and fussy it’s not ideal! I really don’t want to ask but I don’t know what else to do??

5YearsLeft · 08/02/2022 02:15

@Chichimcgee Oh gosh, you don’t need one more thing! But don’t feel like you’re being cheeky. Being gluten free and ASD aren’t things that are choices, I’m assuming vegetarian is not just for “fun” but something deeper too, and being fussy probably isn’t a choice either (if you mean your son); so don’t feel cheeky! You’re not trying to create any trouble. And I’m sure other people will need things too; you won’t be the only one! Sorry it’ll be a pain in the arse though.

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Chichimcgee · 08/02/2022 02:17

I think I’m just used to doing things myself so seems really rude to ask someone to collect my shopping!

5YearsLeft · 08/02/2022 02:34

I’m going to attempt closing my eyes again since I’m still feeling the swollen eyes and migraine-hungover (it’s an hour later here so 0330). I’ll definitely remember the ice this time @AllOfUsAreDead! If it knocks me out, I’ll check the thread in the morning and hopefully everyone will make it through the night (maybe sleeplessly, but hey, at least we make it).

If anyone needs something to watch, DH and I have gotten REALLY into these Harlan Coban adaptations on Netflix - Stay Close, Safe, and now The Stranger. Very twisty thrillers but no real “jump scares.”

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ChocolateDigestivesMmmm · 08/02/2022 02:51

@5YearsLeft Thanks for your kind words on the last thread (I was up with an ill toddler) and for starting this new thread. Sorry to see you're awake again and also hugs to all the people having a horrible time in their lives Thanks

I fell asleep at 8am after having "just a little lie down", hadn't had any dinner and woke up starving at midnight. Had food and now I'm awake, worrying about house stuff. Then feeling stupid about it, because it's very much first world problems and nowhere near in the same league as what other people are going through.

I'm kicking myself that we delayed buying a house and then the pandemic hit and house prices shot through the roof. We did move eventually, but to a much smaller house than what we could afford pre pandemic. I keep remembering about all those Rightmove adverts for lovely houses that were within our budget but now aren't, and wishing we'd just gone for it. Plus I'm crunching the numbers for all the work that needs done on the house and panicking about how to afford it. Then I was reading the thread on Kirsty Allsopp and all these people saying they'll never be able to afford their own home no matter what they do. So I realise my worries are petty and we were lucky to be able to buy at all.

Tallisimo · 08/02/2022 03:11

@Coroico97 sorry to see you back here, was hoping you were successfully sleeping. Bet you can’t wait for the op! I’m suffering from lower leg pains and buttock twinges which are keeping me wide awake and back on social media. I’ve had the sciatica sinceOctober, and it has got worse, spreading to both legs and with more and different manifestations of pain. Sounds as if asking for an MRI scan to try and pinpoint what is going on, and where, is not an unreasonable request!

hairymuffet · 08/02/2022 03:14

Have a uti, which started about 9pm.
Been up to toilet every 15 mins since.
Lying here with a hot water bottle Hmm

MostIneptThatEverStepped · 08/02/2022 03:27

Took my ADHD meds today and not even the tiniest bit sleepy 😬

Wallywobbles · 08/02/2022 03:27

4 am Check up

To ask what you’re doing awake post-midnight? Part 2: Insomnia Strikes Back
Tallisimo · 08/02/2022 03:40

@hairymuffet

Have a uti, which started about 9pm. Been up to toilet every 15 mins since. Lying here with a hot water bottle Hmm
Oh no! Have you got anything you can take?
autienotnaughty · 08/02/2022 03:42

Woke at 2 unable to sleep. Had a minor row with oh before bed which probably didn't help. Dc has learnt the if he says he needs a wee he gets to come in our en-suite for five so that's not helping.

Alleycat1 · 08/02/2022 04:14

Coroico97 Sorry that pill combination doesn't work for you. Hope you get some.relief soon.
Been awake since 4.30 ish. Partner and cat both dead to the world . Hmm

5YearsLeft · 08/02/2022 04:43

Oh well, it was a nice idea while it lasted. I think I got maybe an hour of sleep here and now I’m back up. Dammit.

@ChocolateDigestivesMmmm As always with the thread, glad to see you back and sorry to see you back! I’ve said this to someone else on the thread but… your worries are your worries, and you’re ALLOWED to have them. Don’t compound them by feeling guilty about them (that they’re first world problems, that others have it worse, etc). Because someone else can’t afford a house doesn’t make you awful for worrying about your current house or for feeling sad you didn’t make different decisions about buying a house; we all have feelings, and if yours are currently about your house, that’s where you are. On a stress inventory, buying a house is considered a life event that can cause “huge” stress, on the list with a divorce, a job change, loss of a family member, experiencing an illness, and several other things (obviously they all cause different stresses, but the point of the inventory is just to ascertain all the major stress points that the person has gone through in the last year).So it’s not surprising AND you’re not alone for feeling like this. While yes, it’s good to realize you were fortunate you could buy, don’t use it as a stick to beat yourself with, and to make it so you can’t feel your feelings. You’ll get through them naturally, when you’re ready, when the house isn’t looking quite so large in your stress. Good luck!

@hairymuffet Oh gosh, I know UTIs can be so painful and uncomfortable. No great words of advice; just solidarity, and I’ve been awake with one before. I hope the hot water bottle at least helps with the discomfort a little bit!

@MostIneptThatEverStepped Well… you can’t win them all? Though I do hope they at least help with your ADHD!! If they don’t AND they keep you awake, I think I’d probably be a bit angry, ha.

@Wallywobbles I see some lambs in there! Too cute. But also a bit funny because for a second I just went, “How many legs am I looking at??”

@autienotnaughty Oh no. As always, glad to see you here and sorry to see you up. Sorry to hear about the fight with your OH. It can make sleep feel so elusive, especially if you end up thinking about it, trying to figure out either how it happened or how to fix it. And it can be impossible to figure either one of those out when you’re running on no sleep at 4am. And that doesn’t sound great about DS either; I have NO idea how you tell him to go back to bed without risking him really needing a wee, but maybe someone else does. Or maybe if it’s been less than an hour, you can just assume he doesn’t need it?? I honestly don’t know for certain. What a palaver! Good luck!

@Alleycat1 Of course they are. It’s a well known fact that once you reach the 4am hour, if you’re still awake, that your partner and cat have probably sucked the sleep right out of you and are using it for themselves. Ha! The selfish wankers. I do hope they give it back, as it’s an annoying time to be awake; feels too late sometimes to get properly back to sleep but too early to be up. All my fingers crossed that maybe you’re still able to get a few hours of sleep, though that might be VERY wishful thinking.

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Invasionofthegutsnatchers · 08/02/2022 05:15

Been awake since 2am.

Getting up to go to the gym soon.

jowly · 08/02/2022 05:21

Morning all

Well I've managed 6 hours! This is a really rubbish time to wake up though .. ha, never happy! Too dark and too early to get up, too late to nod back off.

Sorry so many of you are uncomfortable for whatever reason.. chronic pain is so debilitating.. I am grateful I'm only tired.

5YearsLeft · 08/02/2022 05:30

@Invasionofthegutsnatchers Ah, sorry about the 2am wake up but good on for the dedication to get to the gym!!! I’m going to try lifting weights a cup of tea. Grin

@jowly Hey, six hours! It’s something! But agreed that it’s an absolutely rubbish time to wake up - just the wrong way in every direction. About to put the kettle in here, so at least it’s the right time for that.

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jowly · 08/02/2022 05:37

@5YearsLeft I'm debating whether to go and make a cup, but it'll wake the household ( dog will think it's great 🙄)

A few more weeks and it'll be lighter so much earlier, and these early mornings will be so much better.

5YearsLeft · 08/02/2022 06:14

@jowly I can’t wait until we’re in the new flat and I never have to worry about waking anyone up with the kettle. As it is, right now the housemate is in Portugal or I’d probably be trying to veeeery quietly and unsuccessfully run it. The move is now scheduled for 28 February so pretty soon. I’m trying to source cardboard boxes right now.

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autienotnaughty · 08/02/2022 07:00

@5YearsLeft thanks yes it's hard we only just have him toilet trained at night so just riding it out for now hoping he settles. Me and oh are ok just a silly squabble. Hope you are ok and caught some zzzzz.

catwomando · 08/02/2022 07:27

Morning. With a LOT of tossing and turning, I managed to sleep a few hours (yay!).

For all those with depression and worries keeping them awake - have you tried writing down whatever pops into your head in one and paper by the bed? Apparently it works for some.

Re depression and anxiety , the other thing that helped me was to do a bullet journal. Somehow the writing down and forward planning became ritualistic and put me back in control which helped a lot. Things like having a monthly plan, with not only birthdays, but tasks like 'post xxx birthday card' helped me to have a series of little successes which contributed to the positive (so important when drowning in negativity and a constant state of high alert). I could see any nice events coming up, even little things like phoning a friend, or coffee with someone nice. And if there were gaps or not enough knickers things I knew to add more.
The ability to see 'to do' lists with ticks on them helped a lot (I had tiny micro tasks in a lot of cases like 'put washing away', clean bathroom' 'have a walk' which were achievable ) , You can also brainstorm /vision what you want your life to look like post-depression and then work out a plan to,start to get there in small steps. Putting down a mind-map of thoughts, worries, barriers can be very helpful. It may be a crap idea for you, and sometimes medication is necessary as well, but it might help? A billet journal is only a notebook and nice pen but it can be ever so powerful.

I'm off now as have an early dr appointment to ask for HRT. Grin