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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mumsnetters bragging about how rich and important their husbands are

163 replies

RosieGuacamosie · 04/02/2022 16:17

Ready to be flamed Grin

AIBU to find this very cringe? I’ve seen it a couple of times where the OP has asked a job/income question aimed at members of mumsnet (and often clearly wanting answers from women/mums) and within two or three posts there’s women (I assume) rushing on to say “I earn 26p but DH is a top secret VIP and earns £7 million an hour!” Often it really isn’t relevant Confused

Obviously this has no impact on my life but I just find it odd and cringey that instead of being proud of their own achievements (whatever they may be) they’re rushing to boast about what a high roller hubby is.

Only adding this as I know I’ll be accused of being jealous but my husband to be is a high earner himself, I just don’t feel the need to constantly mention it!

OP posts:
GarlandsinGreece · 04/02/2022 18:27

@bindud, it’s definitely a function of where you live. I’m in the Connecticut suburbs, proximate to NYC, where there is usually an earnings disparity, but where I’m originally from (Lancashire) I’d say that it’s much more common for a man and a woman in a relationship to earn roughly the same.

pollygartertidywife · 04/02/2022 18:28

Sadly the women who feel the need to mention if think that they will be better regarded because they have bagged such a 'winner'

Some feel the need as a sort of justification for not bothering to use their brains and earn their own money /income for the family ..

.... and then there are the worst in my opinion . Those who seem to think that because their DH has climbed the heights of academia and general excellence in all things - that this means they have too...

It doesn't. You are what you are . You are not your partner ... and if you are a 'DP' and not a DW .. you are not even that ....

thepastisanothercountry · 04/02/2022 18:33

Because obviously I want the world to know that my DP paid more in tax last year than most people earn in a whole year.... the whole world needs to know he earns loads and loads... shed loads in fact and has 10 million in the bank but still struggles to keep me in the manner to which I've become accustomed so I have to go out to work myself to fill the family coffers.

That sort of thing OP Grin

5128gap · 04/02/2022 18:46

Some are living out their fantasties on line.
Some its true, they are really proud of it, can't believe their luck, and want a good old brag, but it's not socially acceptable in real life.
Some want to spark jealous responses, or failing that, responses they can say are jealous, because it gives them an extra thrill to have something other people want too.
A few may feel its relevant to the subject discussed, but I'd say they're a minority.

ilovemybeachhut · 04/02/2022 18:50

I don't believe have of the stuff I read on here especially when it comes to earnings.

CounsellorTroi · 04/02/2022 18:54

Personally I have not noticed bragging about DH’s earnings unless it’s in the context of DW being a high earner as well.

Chikapu · 04/02/2022 19:04

@SpaghettiArmsMurderer Nope, Ron Burgundy.

loveliesbleeding1 · 04/02/2022 19:21

I never discuss how much any of my Husbands make,ever.

6demandingchildren · 04/02/2022 19:28

Wish mine earned a decent wage, but he is OK in bed so can't grumble as he sleeps all night.

BasiliskStare · 04/02/2022 20:00

@6demandingchildren Grin

My Dh will only drink single malt - not blended whisky - You may call me Lady Grantham.

MatildaTheCat · 04/02/2022 20:14

I’m sure someone on here recently referred to her DH as Elite. I guess that’s a code for not earning anything but having a private income from a trust fund. As of now I vow to never again mention DH’s 0.1% stonking salary and allude only to his resources.

Obviously if you are aristocracy you have next to no income, huge debts and assets worth tens of millions. Then you can humble brag and be forced to open your home to the Great Unwashed for over-priced weddings.

thepastisanothercountry · 04/02/2022 20:16

@loveliesbleeding1 How many do you have? I'm assuming you're very high maintenance so need several very high earning husbands to keep you in the life style you rightly deserve Grin

InFiveMins · 04/02/2022 20:33

I cannot bear the "salary threads" on MN. They are so ridiculously over-exaggerated.

JennyForeigner · 04/02/2022 20:40

I wish my DH was still a high earner but alas, we simply couldn't find Clemency a tutor with a sufficiently high standard of mandarin.

Thank goodness for my little pittance (six figures + bonus). On the plus side, we do find we get so much more time skiing now we are technically early retired.

bungaloid · 04/02/2022 20:56

Is a partner's salary something to be proud of?

loveliesbleeding1 · 04/02/2022 20:59

thepastisanothercountry
Well,like my porsches,I keep one in the city and one in the country but I also have a couple in Dubai and one in the U.S. I find it terribly wearing actually.
I really need another high earner a little closer to home to keep track of them for me.

DrSbaitso · 04/02/2022 21:04

@Changedmane

Conversely, I am sensing both men and well off men in disguise on threads. They try to hide their identity but their wording and utter lack of comprehension of certain things female/working class is blindingly obvious. I spotted two on the Bank of England threads. To be fair, they could “just” have been Daily Mail journos.
They're everywhere, and an overtly feminine name is often a giveaway. A person who calls women "females" and complains that there's no excuse not to lose your baby weight in five minutes but there's so much pressure on men to be ripped, that there's nothing wrong with using the threat of rape as a deterrent in women's prisons, that women are 10000 times worse than men in every respect, and the name is MarilynFlowerGirl? Give me a break.
WonderfulYou · 04/02/2022 21:18

OP I get why you would say about your DP in this instance as everyone would have just jumped on saying that you are jealous or your DP is a low earner so you wouldn’t understand.

mjf981 · 04/02/2022 21:24

I work with a woman is has recently married a ‘high earner’ and is so smug about her ‘catch.’ In reality he is dull as dishwater. She tells me weekly what his salary is and how very important his role is. He has recently been headhunted to work in Singapore on a MUCH HIGHER salary than he is already on, can I believe it! She is desperate for me to ask how much, I can almost see the figure trying to burst out of her. I haven’t and won’t. I am giving it until mid next week before she tells me without being prompted.

On reflection I hope he takes the job. Then she will leave and I won’t have to listen to her anymore Grin

peedawg · 04/02/2022 21:26

@MmeD

I don’t have a husband. Or a husband to be.

😭

well you are doing better than the people who do Grin
forinborin · 04/02/2022 21:44

@Changedmane

Conversely, I am sensing both men and well off men in disguise on threads. They try to hide their identity but their wording and utter lack of comprehension of certain things female/working class is blindingly obvious. I spotted two on the Bank of England threads. To be fair, they could “just” have been Daily Mail journos.
Interesting, I read (and contributed to) the BoE thread but haven't noticed anyone blindingly obviosly male there.
CanofCant · 04/02/2022 21:49

YANBU, see also 'my son eats like a horse but he's so slim and plays county level rugby'.

5128gap · 04/02/2022 22:03

@CanofCant

YANBU, see also 'my son eats like a horse but he's so slim and plays county level rugby'.
And teen DD is a tall, slim and stunningly beautiful natural blonde.
DrSbaitso · 04/02/2022 22:07

@CanofCant

YANBU, see also 'my son eats like a horse but he's so slim and plays county level rugby'.
Isn't this quite common for teenage boys, though? Eat like horses but skinny as rails? And then they hit their 30s..
WalkingDownTheOnlyRoad · 04/02/2022 22:10

@bungaloid

Is a partner's salary something to be proud of?
Only if your own trust fund pays it. As, of course, if, ahem, my own trust fund paid my DH’s salary, I would never mention that fact. So déclassé.