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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect people I know to read my book?

464 replies

bethc765 · 04/02/2022 15:32

In October I released my first book. It's something I've been working on for a long time and something I've dreamt of since I was little.

It's been really well received, got a brilliant critical reception and I've had excellent feedback from readers.

But not a single person apart from my DH has even bought it. I was out with a friend recently and we went into Waterstones and I pointed it out and she remarked "oh i didn't realise it was a proper book and in shops and stuff".

I have a signing event coming up in March and mentioned it in passing and my friends seemed perplexed as to why anyone would want a book signed by me.

I support my friends with their endeavours so I'm a little bit hurt that nobody I know has shown the slightest bit of interest in something that was really important to me. I'm not even asking them to read it- just pretend they have!

OP posts:
Lennon80 · 04/02/2022 17:14

*them

Newgirls · 04/02/2022 17:14

@Iamuhtredsonofuhtred

YANBU I bought my friends book and left her a rave review on Amazon and was super happy for her. I haven’t actually read it
This is what friends should do! Buy it, review it, give it away if you like!

Books are cheap especially fiction. Cost of a couple of coffees really

Silvershroud · 04/02/2022 17:15

Have you got a link to the book? Or was it self-published?

Mumoblue · 04/02/2022 17:16

That’s kind of rubbish! They’re not very supportive friends.

Congratulations on your book!

The only person I know who has written a book is my uncle, and that was an academic book about… taxes I think? I don’t understand his job. But I think I can be forgiven for not reading that! Grin

strawberriesarenot · 04/02/2022 17:17

@Silvershroud

Have you got a link to the book? Or was it self-published?
You'd be lucky to get self published into Waterstones.
Kanfuzed123 · 04/02/2022 17:17

What kind of book is it?

I’ve contributed to a few academic books, I’ve a copy for sentimental reasons but as I don’t get paid from it (shit I know) didn’t expect my friends, parents or husband to buy or read it, probably would have bores them to tears.

A novel or fiction I think is different

Arabellla · 04/02/2022 17:18

There are some shitty friends out there it seems.

I would totally buy a good friend’s book, especially one who has supported me.

VioletOcean · 04/02/2022 17:18

Maybe they’re not interested in the type of book. You can’t force people to read it!

bedheadedzombie · 04/02/2022 17:19

There is a big difference between supporting someones dreams and spending hours and hours reading a book.

One of my friends is a published author. I stopped reading after the first book because I think her writing is absolute shit. I won't be spending any more time on it. I do own all her books and have them displayed in my living room to make her happy Waste of my money if you ask me. Won't tell her that of course because I love her and I want her to keep going.

Wheelz46 · 04/02/2022 17:20

@MargaretThursday if that is the case, they haven't given us much to go on!

SpaghettiArmsMurderer · 04/02/2022 17:20

@SpaghettiArmsMurderer

Congratulations! But I think YABU. Just because they like you, doesn’t mean they are interested in your work. Is it fiction or non fiction? I would find it somehow cringy to read a fiction book by someone I know.
To be fair, I was burnt by reading a friend’s self-published book which was rubbish. But yours sounds like it could be better unless it’s romance
Costacoffeeplease · 04/02/2022 17:22

@BoredZelda gosh, I’m lucky I’m in the 5%

Tiredalwaystired · 04/02/2022 17:23

My sister in law wrote a soft porn novel that has sold extremely well. There is no way on gods earth I would ever read it - I know full well whose faces I would inadvertently put on the characters…

You’ve done a great thing and I’m sure all your friends are very proud of you but I wouldn’t take the not reading personally - it might really not be their thing.

IvanaTrumps · 04/02/2022 17:23

I find this all a little odd @bethc765

I'm in the process of trying to get published and network with a LOT of other authors, some I know in person, others just through online writing groups. All my close friends constantly ask if I've got a publishing deal yet.

What I've found is that the ones who are published (in the last year) are doing a HUGE amount of self-promotion as book shops were closed with Covid or not allowing signings.

My friends are active on Facebook and Twitter trying to promote their books. They say this is essential as publishers don't do much.

So, I find it really hard to accept that you have not shouted your book from the roof tops.

The friends I know ask everyone to read their book (some give away free copies) and write an Amazon review to get it up the rankings.

I've done that for several, last year.

I am wondering if you have posted to market your book and want people to know about it.

Can you tell us the title? Just out of interest? Please? :)

Rosenborg · 04/02/2022 17:24

What's the book? I'll read it ☺️

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 04/02/2022 17:25

Honestly, I think it depends on whether they are keen readers and/or writers themselves. If they're not into books, they probably don't have an clue what an achievement this is. It's a bit like when DH, who is seriously into carpentry, shows me an amazing joint he has just made. I mean, I'm happy he's happy, but to me it's just another lump of wood, whereas another carpenter would appreciate the effort and skill involved.

As a side issue, my mother had a number of short stories published, and I found it incredibly weird reading them, because the authorial voice was also my mother's voice. But I did at least give it a go.

IvanaTrumps · 04/02/2022 17:26

If you had a friend who was a plumber, would you expect them to redo your bathroom for free? If a friend was a chef, would you expect them to cater a party for you for free? Or an artist to paint a mural on your wall for free?

You won't get much plumbing or a refit of a bathroom for the cost of a book (£12 hardback?)

What a ridiculous comparison.

strawberriesarenot · 04/02/2022 17:26

Having worked in publishing for the last 30 years, have to say, that except to the author and the publisher other people's books have about the same charm as other people's sticky kids/dogs/holiday photos.

Friends and relations often kindly volunteer to read them, but being expected to go out and buy them is a bit much. And as I said earlier, you'd better check your contract, because you should have had gratis copies. Between 12 and 20, depending on hb or pb.

EmbarrassingHadrosaurus · 04/02/2022 17:29

I adore attending book launches by people I know in real life. It's a delight to see them getting the attention that they deserve and to be so caught up discussing their work with people who are genuinely interested in them and their processes. (NB: I mostly know non-fiction writers and can't recall attending a launch for fiction.)

CannibalQueen · 04/02/2022 17:30

YABU. Put it this way - if it were a genre I enjoyed and a lot that appealed, I would give it a go. If it were a genre I didn't like, then I would either read a little and lie to you or not read it at all and lie to you OR read it, not enjoy it, and point out all the ways that I thought it was bad. Take your pick.

Kite22 · 04/02/2022 17:30

Generally - YABU.
I know 2 people who earn their living as authors and I know two other people who have also had a book published. I haven't bought any of them, because
a) I don't read much anyway
b) none of them are the sort of book I would read

I know someone that sells pottery that she makes. I don't buy her pottery either. Not that I don't appreciate that she is talented, but that I don't want to spend mney, buying stuff I don't want

I know someone else who is a singer songwriter. I don't go to that many of their gigs either, even though I know they get a proportion of the door money and they would like a bigger crowd there.

I know someone else that does carving - you know what? I don't buy their stuff either

Ditto the jam makers and the people that sell honey from their bees and the people that make door wreaths at Christmas and the friend that started making jewellery.

Good luck to you in your career, but there is only so much people can expect friends to fork out for things they wouldn't otherwise be buying.

CannibalQueen · 04/02/2022 17:32

*Sorry, PLOT, not lot.

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 04/02/2022 17:34

@EmbarrassingHadrosaurus

I adore attending book launches by people I know in real life. It's a delight to see them getting the attention that they deserve and to be so caught up discussing their work with people who are genuinely interested in them and their processes. (NB: I mostly know non-fiction writers and can't recall attending a launch for fiction.)
Book launches are drunkenly awesome, and you should always accept an invitation to one. But never lie to an author about whether you have read the book, as some PPs are suggesting - you are guaranteed to get caught out because they will them bombard you with questions about it.

I know quite a few authors and find that, "I'm saving it for my holiday, so I can really enjoy it" is an effective lie line 😉

DrManhattan · 04/02/2022 17:34

Depends if you are coming across as a bit braggy?

Itsalmostanaccessory · 04/02/2022 17:35

@Kite22

Generally - YABU. I know 2 people who earn their living as authors and I know two other people who have also had a book published. I haven't bought any of them, because a) I don't read much anyway b) none of them are the sort of book I would read

I know someone that sells pottery that she makes. I don't buy her pottery either. Not that I don't appreciate that she is talented, but that I don't want to spend mney, buying stuff I don't want

I know someone else who is a singer songwriter. I don't go to that many of their gigs either, even though I know they get a proportion of the door money and they would like a bigger crowd there.

I know someone else that does carving - you know what? I don't buy their stuff either

Ditto the jam makers and the people that sell honey from their bees and the people that make door wreaths at Christmas and the friend that started making jewellery.

Good luck to you in your career, but there is only so much people can expect friends to fork out for things they wouldn't otherwise be buying.

This is a very good post.

The thing that you're doing is the really important thing in your life. To you, it would just be them spending £10 to support you. Why wont they do that?
But to them, you're one of 20 friends of theirs who has something like this going on. They just cant support you all that way. It isnt the big important thing in their life, just like none of their other friend's "things" are either.

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