AIBU about changes to DPs stag

[Mizanined]

Name changed for this in case the people involved are on here! :D

So DPs stag do before our August wedding is planned for Easter, his two best men booked a dozen of them in an AirBnB at the seaside for a weekend, about an hour from where most of our group (bar one couple G and B) live and grew up.

About two years ago G moved away up to Newcastle to be with his gf B who is from there. Just after the booking was made B messaged the best men asking if the venue could be moved as seaside town was a long way for G to travel, and hard for him to get home from quickly if needed (they have an 18mo DS). DP wasn't really bothered as hes just looking forward to having everyone together in one place for the first time in ages, and is keen to just drink and play video games etc. As a group theyre not massively into big nights out etc so in the end the best men agreed to move it. However the only comparable accom. available was in the next town along from us, where the boys all went to college and where DP currently works.

In the last week B has started messaging our main group chat; it transpires her and the baby are also going to drive down and stay somewhere locally for the weekend. Bit weird but fine! One of the best men who lives in the stag town even offered her his house to stay in for free for the weekend (he lives alone).

B has now messaged the group saying she has booked a place for herself - essentially the annex of the place the boys are staying! It is seprarate to their cottage but sharing a driveway and possibly even an entrance! She has now somehow got herself added to the boys group chat and is heavily pushing to be involved in events, including asking if their meal on the Saturday can be moved forward so she and baby can come (which would involve moving the one big outdoor activity they have booked), and oh if I'm coming we may as well invite Mizaninded and all the other girls as well!

Understandably the best men are getting a bit pissed off. DP to his credit is trying to be nice and just saying its fine, why not just turn it into a big group holiday etc but this just doesnt sit right with me for a few reasons:

• The moving the venue to be easier for G is bollox because its barely 40 minutes difference
• The new cottage does look lovely BUT its only the next town over from our home - seaside town would at least have been somewhere new to explore, opportunity for pubs / eating out etc but now if they want a pub etc it will basically the local places DP goes to all the time so won't be particularly special for him - AND to cap it off the new cottage is literally in the shadow of DPs work so it won't exactly feel like a holiday!
• The boys won't exactly be taking cocaine and partying with strippers etc but a gf and baby just through the wall will totally change the dynamic!
• Now starting to feel guilty about my own hen, which is about 3 weeks later and involves a beach weekend in a foreign country. Most of the guys gfs / wives etc are coming to this and the guys are all sucking up plans to solo parent etc for that weekend without complaint.

I guess I'm just feeling gutted for DP that this event, which is supposed to be special for him, has basically been completely taken over and am also a bit pissed off with B. I know its nothing to do with me really but AIBU?

I wasn't even this invested in my own wedding tbh... hoping you can make sure all goes to plan and B fucks off!

I'm in bed ill with Covid and this is distracting me. Sorry you're going through this but it's doing me the world of good.

Ooh this thread is helping the day 5 Covid isolation boredom no end.

Snap @ScrumptiousBears! Can't believe I posted the exact same thing! I guess there's lots of us in bed ill with Covid atm. I hope it's not too bad, I'm feeling worse than I expected (it was supposed to be mild, "just a cold", was it not?), but beginning to feel better.

I am so invested in this right now 🤣

@FirstTimeSecondTime

I feel sorry for your dh

Almost as sorry as I feel for her bloke, what a future he's got to look forward to!

@ThatDreamSheep

I am so invested in this right now 🤣

Bloody hell me too 😂

Well I'm glad someone is having a full and frank exchange of ideas because you and your DP haven't gone 'woah now, you've completely over stepped the mark' much earlier before it ever got this far.

B sounds like she has some serious issues, I mean - changing someone else’s stag do dinner to 3 hours earlier with an extra guest and high chair 😅😅
Sounds like G needs to sort this out or maybe just not come at all as his gf is absolutely nuts…

So she was ok leaving G at home with the baby while she came on your hen? 🙄

A full and frank exchange of ideas for fucks sake 😂 glad someone has finally stepped up!

Haha knew G would end up not going because B is a batshit bitch.

Kind of hope it does end up in the daily mail, then she might find out and see how nuts she is.

How are G and B not embarrassed about this insane behaviour! And arguing about it when challenged. I almost don’t believe it…

@Pallisers

I'm gobsmacked at her crashing a stag weekend but having a toddler crash it too brings it to a while other level.

If she's scheduled to come to the hen party is she panning on inflicting the 18 month old on that party too?

What the hell! If this was a TV show I would be enjoying the drama- get your bridesmaids to send you the screenshots of them telling her straight

@Orchid876

Snap *@ScrumptiousBears*! Can't believe I posted the exact same thing! I guess there's lots of us in bed ill with Covid atm. I hope it's not too bad, I'm feeling worse than I expected (it was supposed to be mild, "just a cold", was it not?), but beginning to feel better.

I've definitely not just got a cold. I feel terrible. This afternoon I couldn't even sleep through the joint pain. Now I'm wide awake but hurt still. Hope it doesn't last too long for us.

How annoying though if G no longer comes and the locations been changed purely for him! He needs to put his foot down with B and tell her straight aswell

If ever there was justification for elopement that time is now.

OK so BM1 has text the following update – apparently he told his gf to temporarily remove me from the hen chat as he didn’t want B kicking off at me. To be fair both hen and stag chats were originally meant to be “secret” from me and DP until the events anyway

• B essentially complained how unfair everyone was being, and seems to have flounced and now no longer wants ANYTHING TO DO WITH ANY OF THE BOYS EVER AGAIN. She is not going to stay at the annex or go to the meal or activity but instead is going to spend the weekend with G’s parents, who still live in our home town, 10 mins away from stag cottage. Still not great situation but not a lot anyone can do as she is free to go where she likes

• G is coming to the stag after all and has apologized profusely for B’s behaviour. Apparently as the annex cannot be cancelled or refunded, he is going to swallow the cost but it basically means the guys will have a bit more space to spread out, and I imagine is him trying to make up for all the fuckery. BM1 admits the possibility of B “spontaneously” turning up to the annex however as I’m guessing it will still be booked under her name

• B says she is still coming on my hen party and doesn’t get why this might be an issue?! Dealing with this is going to be a fun job for me / my bridesmaids

• BM2 phoned the restaurant who said “a woman” had phoned to amend the booking – annoyingly they are now fully booked at 8pm but just means they need to find a new restaurant which isn’t a big deal

• Most importantly(?) of all G has asked to video call both BMs, my DP and their other friend on Monday night (when B is at work) for a "man chat"

Don’t know what to think about any of this TBH. Just checked WhatsApp and she still has me blocked. DP has gone upstairs muttering about “crazy women” and is currently playing guitar to the cat lol. He hates conflict in any form so this sort of stuff is a complete nightmare for him. Thanks everyone for comments as this has all actually been weirdly stressful

Apart from going on here, what did you actually do Mizanined?

I mean what did you do to B to make her so mad at you?

I can't get over she amended the restaurant booking without checking with anyone 🤯

Surely no one is this pushy!

@UneFoisAuChalet

Someone needs to tell her to back off. No more politeness- just a straight up fuck off this isn’t about you.

However, I feel sorry for her. I have a friend who is similarly insecure and controlling of her partner and every occasion, every moment where he is not where she wants him to be (work or home) is a fraught and stressful time for her. I can’t imagine living my life worrying about everything my partner says or does when I’m not around. It sounds so tiring and depressing and despite all the efforts the guy usually leaves.

Any sympathy should be for her poor partner having to live with this idiot. It sometimes seems on MN that whatever unreasonable things women do they always get the sympathy!

While no one can keep B from turning up are G’s parents in a position to keep an eye on her and try and ensure that she doesn’t do what we all know she is going to do that weekend?

@MerryMarigold why did she have to have done anything? B is clearly off her rocker.