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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To stay upstairs whilst DH gets kids ready for school because I have covid?

123 replies

waitinginthecar · 02/02/2022 08:12

DH is fuming at me because I've stayed in bedroom whilst he has been getting kids ready for school. I'm asymptomatic but snotty in the mornings. My reasoning is that I don't want to breathe covid over the kids. He's just called me a dick for not coming down to help, asking "are you ill?" My response is "no, but as I have covid I don't want to breathe it on the kids".
I haven't been able to isolate fully so have been around after school and teatime but I haven't been in their rooms so DH has been putting them to bed. AIBU to not go down and help this morning?

OP posts:

Hb12 · 02/02/2022 14:12

@Sweetpea84, do you mean you are driving your kids to school with covid? Pretty sure you shouldn't be doing that.

OP it makes sense to limit your kids' exposure to the bug. Your husband sounds a little incapable and very rude. Calling you a dick? Not on.

fairycakes1234 · 02/02/2022 14:15

Sorry but if you are around them then you should get them ready, just wear a mask, unless you are isolating fully then you should help....methinks you are being a bit lazy :)

JustLyra · 02/02/2022 14:16

@fairycakes1234

Sorry but if you are around them then you should get them ready, just wear a mask, unless you are isolating fully then you should help....methinks you are being a bit lazy :)

As opposed to the husband who is so lazy he can't deal with his own kids for the morning...

diddl · 02/02/2022 14:19

@Darkstar4855

Covid is airborne so if you’re going downstairs before them and getting lunches, uniforms etc ready then you’re leaving the air full of covid for them anyway. So I think you are being a bit unreasonable.

Looks like Dad needs to take over for a while then!

Yuckypretty · 02/02/2022 14:19

I think isolating within a house hold is pointless.

TheWaterNokk · 02/02/2022 14:21

I feel like if I man was asymptomatic and isolating there would be more posters rolling their eyes. I mean with a variant this mild and children so young I feel like I’d be telling my husband to get a grip if he pulled this.

ineedsun · 02/02/2022 14:25

@SartresSoul

I’d think you were a dickhead too. I had covid in December and I carried on as normal in the house. Breastfeeding my youngest so had no choice but to be close to him. It isn’t a big deal for most people, children in particular. It’s like a mild cold, I have honestly had much worse colds.

Well done for your superior skills in not being as badly affected by covid as some other people. OP already explained her son had been very unwell with it previously.

londonrach · 02/02/2022 14:28

Wear a mask...tbh it's impossible to isolate within a family situation. I'm with your husband here unless you were I'll put a mask on and help

Hb12 · 02/02/2022 14:32

Can he genuinely not cope?!

JustLyra · 02/02/2022 14:34

The number of people missing the point about minimising exposure to a child who was very ill when they had covid is quite spectacular on this one.

I mean, not as bad as the OP’s husband missing that point, but still something.

gannett · 02/02/2022 14:41

@TheWaterNokk

There was a recent thread about a man with mild Covid who didn't want to drive a six-hour round trip to pick his fiancee up, and the consensus was LTB.

I would be very unsympathetic to a partner with mild Covid who was picking and choosing when they needed to self-isolate at their own convenience.

mumof2exhausted · 02/02/2022 14:41

@Theunamedcat

It's two children not a pack of raptors

who normally does it?

I am using this next time my husband says he needs help with the kids!

5keletor · 02/02/2022 14:49

It sounds like you want out of helping in the morning tbh, snotty or not, you'll "breathe covid" on them at other times, so I can see why he finds the excuse annoying.

fairycakes1234 · 02/02/2022 14:51

@JustLyra Did i miss a bit where she said her husband was lazy? She asked shoyuld she go down and help and the answer is yes as fair as im concerned? Shes asking advice, we're giving it. Why is the husband lazy cause he wants a hand? How do you konw how long he is working for and if he has to go out to work in the morning or if he is overworked? No, of course he has to be lazy

fairycakes1234 · 02/02/2022 14:52

@TheWaterNokk

Id be the same!!

ChangingLife · 02/02/2022 14:55

*I would be very unsympathetic to a partner with mild Covid who was picking and choosing when they needed to self-isolate at their own convenience.8

I would be very unsympathetic to a partner who couldn't cope iwth something as simple as the school run. I mean it's not rocket science is it?

And one that also couldn't understand why I wanted to reduce contact as much as possible seeing that the 5yo had been so poorly the first time he got covid....

Note that the OP isn't choosing what she is or isn't doing too. The stuff she does is because she has NO CHOICE in dealing with the dcs. NOt because she chose to be involved....

JustLyra · 02/02/2022 14:58

[quote fairycakes1234]@JustLyra Did i miss a bit where she said her husband was lazy? She asked shoyuld she go down and help and the answer is yes as fair as im concerned? Shes asking advice, we're giving it. Why is the husband lazy cause he wants a hand? How do you konw how long he is working for and if he has to go out to work in the morning or if he is overworked? No, of course he has to be lazy[/quote]
I didn’t say she did. I was disagreeing with your stance that only she was lazy. Tends to happen Ona discussion forums.

He’s lazy because he’s prioritising wanting a hand over his child’s health.
It’s hardly rocket science getting two kids ready in the morning.

She’s trying to minimise their child’s exposure to an illness that made him very unwell - that’s not lazy. It’s responsible parenting

JustLyra · 02/02/2022 15:00

@ChangingLife

*I would be very unsympathetic to a partner with mild Covid who was picking and choosing when they needed to self-isolate at their own convenience.8

I would be very unsympathetic to a partner who couldn't cope iwth something as simple as the school run. I mean it's not rocket science is it?

And one that also couldn't understand why I wanted to reduce contact as much as possible seeing that the 5yo had been so poorly the first time he got covid....

Note that the OP isn't choosing what she is or isn't doing too. The stuff she does is because she has NO CHOICE in dealing with the dcs. NOt because she chose to be involved....

This.

The lack of understanding why a responsible parent would want to minimise their child’s exposure to something that made them so ill they were almost hospitalised is quite bizarre.

AnneElliott · 02/02/2022 15:08

I'm going to take a guess that you've done the school run for both kids on your own before? As if so he's being a twat to need help for something you can do perfectly well.

Sirzy · 02/02/2022 15:11

But the tasks the OP has said she isn’t doing aren’t ones that involve close contact with the children so it makes even less sense.

You can make packed lunches and breakfast without the children even being in the same room!

Hankunamatata · 02/02/2022 15:15

Are you picking them up from school and then taking care of them afterschool then yabu

alfreddo87 · 02/02/2022 15:33

Not really surprising that your husband called you a dick when you're behaving like one.

WTF475878237NC · 02/02/2022 16:44

Based on your updates YADNBU and he's extremely rude.

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