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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stay upstairs whilst DH gets kids ready for school because I have covid?

123 replies

waitinginthecar · 02/02/2022 08:12

DH is fuming at me because I've stayed in bedroom whilst he has been getting kids ready for school. I'm asymptomatic but snotty in the mornings. My reasoning is that I don't want to breathe covid over the kids. He's just called me a dick for not coming down to help, asking "are you ill?" My response is "no, but as I have covid I don't want to breathe it on the kids".
I haven't been able to isolate fully so have been around after school and teatime but I haven't been in their rooms so DH has been putting them to bed. AIBU to not go down and help this morning?

OP posts:
IntermittentParps · 02/02/2022 08:38

I can't get past 'He's just called me a dick'.
I can't imagine my DP calling me that (or vice versa).

Satingreenshutters · 02/02/2022 08:39

Get up the fuck.

Hugasauras · 02/02/2022 08:41

I think it's a bit pointless if you're around them the rest of the time really. Do you usually both do it or is it just him? If it's usually solely you then I would just let him crack on anyway GrinBut if it's always a joint thing then I'd help out - there's prob stuff that can be done that doesn't require you to be right up close? If you were ill then that's different entirely of course.

diddl · 02/02/2022 08:41

Oh woman, know your place.

The mighty ma isn't coping & you must help.

ChangingLife · 02/02/2022 09:01

Honestly? Why is he not able to get the kids ready for school in his own?
Is he that incompetent?

MinglingFlamingo · 02/02/2022 09:03

Why do I get the feeling that DH has got covid. DW is doing all the running around especially in the mornings

DurhamDurham · 02/02/2022 09:03

He definitely shouldn't have called you a dick but you really can't claim to isolate on a morning then spend after after school around your children. Covid doesn't work like that Grin

Sweetpea84 · 02/02/2022 09:04

I’ve got Covid full on ill and I still get kids ready for school, shove them out the car at the gate as can’t get out of car. Feed them dinner and do baths etc. My husband starts early so still have to carry on.

ChangingLife · 02/02/2022 09:04

@Theunamedcat

It's two children not a pack of raptors

who normally does it?

Well I imagine it’s the OP who normally does it. Otherwise why in earth would her DH struggle so much?

And you’re right. We are talking about 2 children, not raptors . Surely their own father should be able to get them ready for school wo help.

So why isn’t he?
And why are some many PP saying that the OP should go and help him? If I was at his place, I’d be ashamed to be seen so incapable that I couldn’t cope with my own kids to do something as basic as that.

SeeminglyOblivious · 02/02/2022 09:06

Everyone loves a trier op but you're either isolating or not!

I'd be pissed off if this was DH.

ChangingLife · 02/02/2022 09:07

I can also see the whole gang of ‘I have it worse than you and I’m still doing X, Y and Z, so why can’t you?’ Is out in force.

Whether anyone how has Covid is still getting yo to get the dcs ready is not here nor there.

In the OP’s case, her DH is taking the dcs to school. Why is it that he seems incapable to get them ready himself? It’s not that hard.

Thatsplentyjack · 02/02/2022 09:08

🤣 seems a bit pointless

Original poster
waitinginthecar · 02/02/2022 09:08

I suppose I'm just trying to limit my contact where possible. So DH is working around teatime so I have to be around preparing and serving tea. My youngest was very unwell when he had covid 15 months ago so just want to reduce his viral load as much as possible. Whilst DH was on school run (I normally do), I went down and did all the morning chores.

OP posts:
Hapoydayz · 02/02/2022 09:08

Do you both usually get them ready together or is it just normally you and he doesn't want to step up?

Original poster
waitinginthecar · 02/02/2022 09:09

I simply cannot fully isolate from the children as DH has to work (from home).

OP posts:
mindutopia · 02/02/2022 09:12

Honestly, I think that sounds fine and sensible (and you should probably rest a bit, asymptomatic or not). We kept dc at home when dh had COVID (at request of school and nursery to self-isolate if household contacts if possible). I was wfh anyway. I got dc up and ready in the am, and dh slept a bit longer and got up to shuffle to the sofa and keep an eye on them so they didn't kill themselves while I worked.

At the moment, half our school is out with COVID and half the teachers. Reception only has 3 students in the whole class! I wouldn't begrudge anyone having a lie in and limiting contact, especially if you are continuing to send your dc to school.

MrsSkylerWhite · 02/02/2022 09:13

There’s no such thing as “not fully isolating”

You are or you aren’t.

Original poster
waitinginthecar · 02/02/2022 09:14

@MrsSkylerWhite

There’s no such thing as “not fully isolating”

You are or you aren’t.

...as in, I'm not shutting myself upstairs in my bedroom for 5 days.
OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 02/02/2022 09:15

What’s your normal morning routine for getting the children ready?

Fatmax22 · 02/02/2022 09:16

You're being daft. You are in contact with them sometimes so there is no point avoiding them at other times.

WindyState · 02/02/2022 09:16

Pretty pointless to isolate a little bit.

MrsSkylerWhite · 02/02/2022 09:17

In which case there’s no point stating upstairs at any time of day. Don’t think coronaviruses are any more active in the morning than they are at tea time 🤷‍♀️

Blackbird2020 · 02/02/2022 09:17

Seems like your problem is not really about who should do what, who is, or isn’t, capable., who should wear a mask etc….

It’s about communication.

Did you say all this to your DH? He’s then either onboard with the plan, or not. And if not, you can have a sensible conversation together about why and how to compromise.

Not name-calling.

I think you have bigger problems than who’s in the right about your strategy of not exposing your kids to Covid.

Ponoka7 · 02/02/2022 09:20

@Sweetpea84
"I’ve got Covid full on ill and I still get kids ready for school, shove them out the car at the gate as can’t get out of car. Feed them dinner and do baths etc."

Makes you wonder why someone without Covid can't do the same.

OP you are right to not overexpose them. There's no reason why he can't manage the children he has.

MyGlassKeepsLeaking · 02/02/2022 09:21

YABU. It makes absolutely no sense to be around your kids for part of the day. Get up and help out.