Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stay upstairs whilst DH gets kids ready for school because I have covid?

123 replies

waitinginthecar · 02/02/2022 08:12

DH is fuming at me because I've stayed in bedroom whilst he has been getting kids ready for school. I'm asymptomatic but snotty in the mornings. My reasoning is that I don't want to breathe covid over the kids. He's just called me a dick for not coming down to help, asking "are you ill?" My response is "no, but as I have covid I don't want to breathe it on the kids".
I haven't been able to isolate fully so have been around after school and teatime but I haven't been in their rooms so DH has been putting them to bed. AIBU to not go down and help this morning?

OP posts:
megletthesecond · 02/02/2022 09:22

Yanbu.

diddl · 02/02/2022 09:22

"He's just called me a dick for not coming down to help, asking "are you ill?""

Twat!

I'd start being ill.

SartresSoul · 02/02/2022 09:24

I’d think you were a dickhead too. I had covid in December and I carried on as normal in the house. Breastfeeding my youngest so had no choice but to be close to him. It isn’t a big deal for most people, children in particular. It’s like a mild cold, I have honestly had much worse colds.

marqueses · 02/02/2022 09:25

@MyGlassKeepsLeaking

YABU. It makes absolutely no sense to be around your kids for part of the day. Get up and help out.
While that may be true we need to know what aspect of normal getting children ready for school the Dh is incapable of doing, maybe there are ways he could change to do it better
Original poster
waitinginthecar · 02/02/2022 09:29

@SartresSoul

I’d think you were a dickhead too. I had covid in December and I carried on as normal in the house. Breastfeeding my youngest so had no choice but to be close to him. It isn’t a big deal for most people, children in particular. It’s like a mild cold, I have honestly had much worse colds.
My son nearly went to hospital last time so certainly wasn't mild for him, and he's 5.
OP posts:
ferrychristmas · 02/02/2022 09:31

I am in the same boat as you op , except with a dh who doesn't call me a dick- but he there is a lot of loud sighing.
First few days I was ill and he had to do it all - now I am feeling better I have done packed lunches this morning while they're all upstairs.

I am also keeping my distance from the rest of the family as much as possible , avoiding being in the same room and not going close. But it isimpossible to fully isolate, and I can absolutely see the value in reducing contact to the minimum possible- more time spent in contact = higher risk of transmission.

Hope you get well soon! And get the apology due to you soon. He should totally be able to get two kids ready for school.

busyeatingbiscuits · 02/02/2022 09:32

I imagine a lot of parents would like to get the kind of covid that leaves you feeling fine, but unable to participate in getting ready for school or bedtimes... Sign me up Wink

MummyMe87 · 02/02/2022 09:32

I mean he shouldn’t call you a dick, but I think you’re being dramatic.

Crack on with life whilst isolating in your home. I’ve had covid three times and never not got on with life except when I was feeling like shite 2nd time and I really was struggling.

StrawberryFever · 02/02/2022 09:33

Reading must of these responses it's clear why transmission is so high.

Of course it makes sense to limit contact wherever possible, yes it's not always possible with young children but where it is, do so. It's not just your children you're protecting of course, but everyone they come into daily contact with and their families - who may well be clinically vulnerable.

EarringsandLipstick · 02/02/2022 09:39

@busyeatingbiscuits

I imagine a lot of parents would like to get the kind of covid that leaves you feeling fine, but unable to participate in getting ready for school or bedtimes... Sign me up Wink
😂😂😂
Hellolittlestar · 02/02/2022 09:43

I’m sorry, but if you see them at other times and share the rooms, then “breathing Covid onto them specifically in the morning” is a lame excuse. Nothing wrong with you wanting your husband to get them ready, but be honest about it.

DearFrutti · 02/02/2022 09:43

YANBU
And your husband sounds a bit pathetic

Pembertonrd · 02/02/2022 09:49

Well your dh shouldn’t be calling you a dick.
Put a mask on and help.

IntermittentParps · 02/02/2022 09:52

@SartresSoul

I’d think you were a dickhead too. I had covid in December and I carried on as normal in the house. Breastfeeding my youngest so had no choice but to be close to him. It isn’t a big deal for most people, children in particular. It’s like a mild cold, I have honestly had much worse colds.
Aren't you a delight.
nitsandwormsdodger · 02/02/2022 09:54

I’m actually concerned that he spoke to you like that ?
Surely as soon as you tested positive you discussed the morning plan ? Why did it come as a shock that he was doing morning routine by himself
Does he normally call you names ?

Thirtytimesround · 02/02/2022 09:56

I think DH should be able to cope with getting thenkids ready for school on hisnown for a week. I’ve been doing it on mynown every day for years, it’s not that hard.

I’d wear a mask around them when you can in the evenings though if you’re serious about trying to limit your viral shed.

ImprobablePuffin · 02/02/2022 10:00

Can't help but think the covid is a red herring here. It doesn't matter, your husband shouldn't be talking to you like this no matter what.

Is he normally disrespectful and incapable of looking after his children or is this a new development?

MeSanniesareBrannies · 02/02/2022 10:05

Several people have asked what your normal routine is, OP. Is there a reason you’re not saying?

Either way, your husband shouldn’t be calling you names.

Littlehouseonthefairy · 02/02/2022 10:12

You haven't even got a cold. I think you are being dramatic.

Original poster
waitinginthecar · 02/02/2022 10:12

I do breakfast and make packed lunches and get uniform out 7-7:30, them I get ready. then husband comes down to ensure they get dressed, wash, teeth. I take them to school on way to work at 8:15

OP posts:
WonderfulYou · 02/02/2022 10:12

YANBU
Surely you don’t want your kids getting ill so you’d try and stay away from them as much as possible.

As they’ve got two parents then the non infectious one can do most of the work.

It’s the same whether you’ve got the flu, norovirus etc. You want reduce the risk of passing it on.

PurpleDaisies · 02/02/2022 10:18

@waitinginthecar

I do breakfast and make packed lunches and get uniform out 7-7:30, them I get ready. then husband comes down to ensure they get dressed, wash, teeth. I take them to school on way to work at 8:15
Surely you could make breakfast and packed lunches and do uniform without breathing all over the children? If you’re not unwell and that’s your normal routine, I’m not sure why you can’t do some of your usual but.
Sirzy · 02/02/2022 10:22

@waitinginthecar

I do breakfast and make packed lunches and get uniform out 7-7:30, them I get ready. then husband comes down to ensure they get dressed, wash, teeth. I take them to school on way to work at 8:15
Makes even less sense now then.

Surely your normal split involves you having little close contact anyway assuming it’s a given he is taking them to school.

If you where ill and needed to stay in bed it would be different but thankfully your not

toomuchlaundry · 02/02/2022 10:23

DH doesn’t seem to have to do anything practical as such in your usual routine, just remind DC to do things (although that can be a nightmare)

Packed lunches and uniform can be prepped the night before to make the morning easier

EezyOozy · 02/02/2022 10:30

If you are in contact with them at other points in the day, e.g. teatime and evening, then it's absurd that you won't come down and help in the morning.