To ask if you are a 'housewife' with no children?

[crochetmonkey74]

I know the term housewife is outdated so first off apologies.
I've always wondered about this , I had a great aunt and uncle who never had children but she never worked. I've always been interested in how this would be (been a bit of a fantasy of mine)
Do any of you have this life ? What is it like?

I think if you are genuinely happy with your own life choices you don’t generally feel the need to knock those of others.

How randomiser can’t see the astonishing irony in their posts, I have no idea 🤣

Who is saying even that though Madame? Why would you care even if they did?

No lots of people find their job meaningful and feel it gives them purpose. Lots of jobs in charities, in public services, youth services, teachers, church workers, some GPs.
I know from personal experience that helping kids who have been abused and neglected can feel like a vocation. Its not just the money.
And plenty of people have a passion to build a successful business. My friend runs her own business. It is never going to make big money but makes her a living. She is passionate about what she has achieved.

@CounsellorTroi

That’s a very simplistic argument. I guess you’d condone the life choices of criminals then, if you’re happy in your own.

I’m not a childless housewife, by the way. But I couldn’t care less how anyone, man or woman, lives their life. Why would I?

If you’re a scientist, good for you. Get on with it and stop wasting energy pontificating about other people’s marriages. Life is too short.

[quote MadameHeisenberg]@CounsellorTroi

That’s a very simplistic argument. I guess you’d condone the life choices of criminals then, if you’re happy in your own.[/quote]
Well I meant within reason. Not choices that are immoral/illegal.

I dont understand this, if you have no kids, what on earth do you do all day?

Err, who made you thread police?

@dworky

If running a household is 'doing nothing', why do people employ housekeepers?

Probably if you have a mansion but the average house doesn't take that much 'running '

@velvet24

I dont understand this, if you have no kids, what on earth do you do all day?

Do you think the same of women with school age or adult children?

Most people would never employ a housekeeper even if they could afford it as there simply would not be enough to do.

School age or adult kids no? Because there is still lots of running about, lifts, comings and goings, its a mad house here.

I don't get it sorry

I don’t mean to be the thread police, sorry. But, when all is said and done, we all know full well that people will live the way they want to live and nobody actually gives a toss. You only get one life, so live it your way. Everyone is different.

Do you really expect everyone to have the same outlook and motivations in life as you do? Good luck with that.

Im just genuinely curious what you can do all day that's all, after the cleaning and washing, I would love to know! I would be bored out of my mind that's all!

Yes, fine. But don’t tell people who make different choices (working for e.g.) that they can’t really be choosing and must obviously just be jealous (I’m not talking about you personally here).

@Monopolyiscrap

Most people would never employ a housekeeper even if they could afford it as there simply would not be enough to do.

You'd be surprised. Plenty of housekeeper jobs advertised in The Lady which my mum used to read. Just looked on line and they still are.

@velvet24

Im just genuinely curious what you can do all day that's all, after the cleaning and washing, I would love to know! I would be bored out of my mind that's all!

What are you planning on doing when you retire? That should give you an idea.

I was a "housewife" (term makes me chuckle though!) when between jobs for about two months. Loved it. I did loads of bike rides to 'train' for doing London-Brighton bike ride, cooked, gardened, got an organic veggie box of the "weird and wonderful" veg (such as salsify) and experimented with cooking them, saw friends at lunchtime, pottered about. It was lovely for a couple of months.

Now I just feel I'm constantly juggling a job, house, childcare, DIY, etc. And never feel a sense of flow or focus as I should always be doing multiple things at once. And constantly feel I should really be doing something else.

Multitasking is v over rated and exhausting imo...

People can be doing all sorts of things, velvet. Obviously! The only limit is you imagination / energy.

In my experience, women who don’t work are probably the last ones to be doing washing or housework. They have staff for that!

You know there are quite a few men who can afford not to work either. What can they possibly be doing all day?

Not childless but they’re late teens and I haven’t worked since pregnant with no1 nearly 20 years ago. I like my life but there are pros and cons to not working and looking after the house, garden, dog etc.

@MadameHeisenberg

I have never been defined by any job title nor viewed differently (by those who matter) for having or not having that role. I find it sad that there are women who ascribe this need to work

Do you find it sad that there are men who ascribe to this need to work, or is it just women who are ‘sad’?

Also, maybe you’ve never been defined by a job but there are many people (even women, shock horror!) who don’t just see work as a means to an end, it’s a passion, a calling, a raison d’être. For me this is certainly the case. I could easily work at weekends; I’m a scientist and I love what I do. I will never really retire, I will carry on until I die, in some way, shape or form.

I guess Marie Curie, Katalin Kariko, Sarah Gilbert, Fabiola Gianotti and the many, many women who have changed the world through devotion to their scientific work are equally ‘sad’ to you. This says far more about you than it does about them.

(Oh and DH and I are highly-paid ex-pats. I really could give up work tomorrow and live extremely comfortably off his salary alone, but I never will, for reasons outlined already).

This was what I actually said: I find it sad that there are women who ascribe this need to work for validation as feminism.

The way you quoted me implied something quite different, but I am sure you know that?

I was in a very highly paid field and I worked hard, but I knew/know that there are more important things than work. Obviously, I wouldn't ally my contribution to the working world in terms of Marie Curie et al, nor did I imply they were 'sad'.

However, if you would really work weekends (in addition to your normal working week) and so presumably sacrifice family/DH time, then that does indeed say a lot about you.

I do find it sad that anyone be they male or female, would say that their work was their raison d’être. I would infer from that a distinct lack in other areas of their lives. That was my point in saying I have never been defined or (perhaps, subsumed) by any of my job roles, or my career in general.

The statement - no one ever wished they had worked more on their deathbed, may be an old adage, but it is a truism for most people.

Maybe not you? That is fine, your choice entirely.

I did this for 3 years. Adult children left home. Left a job that had become very stressful. My husband works full time, and has always pulled his weight. I took on the bulk of running our home and he loved not having to fret about getting stuff done and the complications that go with trying to do things around 2 full time jobs.Far from being resentful, he was glad to be able to focus on his job and considered it a luxury to have me about.
We both have ageing parents who need a bit of help so I did most of that, plus the bits and bobs around the place that meant when he was off we could be doing interesting things together instead of catching up on chores. I walked the dog, met friends for coffee, did plenty of reading and a couple of free online courses. I helped out with a friend's children, and rode another friend's horse when she was too busy working to pay for it all. I was never bored!
I recently went back to work part time, in an industry that's crying out for staff, purely because it's a way of contributing. I enjoy that too. We're rich in the sense of being able to pay our bills, but otherwise our life is simple and reasonably frugal, and I can't deny that the money is nice to have as extra.
But I was never, ever bored!

velvet24
“I dont understand this, if you have no kids, what on earth do you do all day?”
I answered this on the first page,I write,I read ,I garden( in Summer) I walk the dog, I take courses. I see my friends and family.
Everything everyone does at the weekend I do through the whole week.

Strictly speaking, I'm a housewife. I no longer work and have a few years before I get a pension.

I know that the term 'housewife' is outdated but that's what I am. To be fair , my husband has taken early retirement so in effect , we're early retirees.

To actually live with a partner, who works, but you don't work is very rare. Generally done by the upper classes , I expect.