To ask if you are a 'housewife' with no children?

[crochetmonkey74]

I know the term housewife is outdated so first off apologies.
I've always wondered about this , I had a great aunt and uncle who never had children but she never worked. I've always been interested in how this would be (been a bit of a fantasy of mine)
Do any of you have this life ? What is it like?

Reading with interest.

I'm working part time alongside studying for a career change. But I am pretty sure I don't want to be employed again - in the sense of line management, strategising, leading and all that nonsense. I'm very good at it, but it takes far too much energy away from my real pleasures in life.

My new career is high demand, highly paid, and in IT. I'd easily be able to meet my financial contributions through consultancy and development on about ten hours a week. I've also been doing online stocks trading and it seems I have rather a knack for it - it's a side income of £20-50 per day (average over a year).

So we're discussing my going VERY part time when we have kids. Working ten hours a week, sending the kids to nursery from 18m. And the rest of my time free to entertain myself and run the household.

I hate running around stressed with life admin. I enjoy how relaxed I am socially without work dragging me down.

But the one thing putting me off is that people will assume that my lovely, high earning DH will be "keeping" me.

@thecatsthecats

You do that! Go as part time as you are able! It's wonderful having lots of free time and not being tied to full time work. I have been part time now for 15 years, (24 hours, WFH for 10,) and I LOVE it.

But the one thing putting me off is that people will assume that my lovely, high earning DH will be "keeping" me.

Just two words.

FUCK!

THEM!

Anyone who bashes you will only be doing it because they are jealous and bitter. Just smile sweetly, and say 'why would I work, when I can sit on my arse all day doing fuck-all, being kept by my husband?'

I'd love to stay at home, I'd not be bored at all. But it's the financial stability that would worry me. I'd be more than happy to be a 'housewife' if I knew I'd be ok if my relationship broke down. I'm so glad I went back to work after dc as I did get divorced and I've always been able to support myself financially, it gives me the security I need

I really wanted to be a stay at home mom!!!

I had two years off work after my daughter was born, mixture of mat leave, shielding and sick leave, the first 12 months were fab just not having to go to work but after that I needed work for my own sanity, so the last 12 months although it was great for my kids me been at home I lost the loving feeling for wanting to be a “housewife” and have written that dream off 😂😂😂

My kids have left home. I work full time and my husband does all the cooking, cleaning, washing, and walking the dog. He's quite well occupied. We are nowhere near retirement age. It works well for both of us.

Americans use "homemaker" which is generic enough to mean almost anything...

@JosephineDeBeauharnais

I know several women in this situation. They are childless by choice, married to high earning men and wouldn’t dream of doing any sort of work. They don’t volunteer, do charity work, fundraising, nothing. They also have cleaners and gardeners. What they do is shop, coffee, lunch, plan holidays, walk the dog. They’ve always got a home improvement project on the go, or are moving house. They seem to fill their time very nicely and have lovely, enviable lives.

Good God kill me now. I think anyone who would be satisfied with lifestyle doesn't need mental stimulation and is a bit thick

I know a young woman of 43 who gave up her career/ studies to marry a wealthy chap and basically just physically be around 24/7 for him , whether he's actually there or not . To me , she seems bored , listless ,has no interests in anything but shopping ,mainly for fashion and beauty treatments and therefore little conversation . She also drinks to excess most days . It doesn't seem to make either of them happy or healthy .

I would happily be a housewife with no children provided my husband didn't lord over me because he makes the money and provided money was no object so I could enjoy pursuing interests and meeting friends and volunteering

@shamalidacdak

Why so nasty?

I guess this is me - well, at least it was for eight years or so after my children left home ( I now run a food bank).
I loved it - I organised our busy lives, ran the house, walked the dogs, saw friends, volunteered at a local school and the local hospice, looked after my elderly father-in-law, baked for people etc etc. My husband has always seen us as a team, working together to have the life we want, and sharing the financial returns between us as my role in the team just happened to be ‘unpaid’.

For our grandmothers, working after marriage was often not possible. Employers would simply not accept Married Women because their priority should be Home Making. And for men, a wife who went out to work implied that a man was, shamefully, not earning enough to support her. Children whose mothers worked were pitied because there would be no home-cooked lunch for them, and no-one at home to welcome them with a proper tea...

I work part-time and use days off for organising house - washing, ironing, housework, shopping, exercise, dog walk. I do usually have time to have a bit of time to myself too. School-age children. I don't think it would ever be a full-time job as lots of people work full-time and organise the house.

@Abigail12345654321

Depends on the house! I’d love to have my partner at home full time. Can absolutely see how it would be a full time job.

Don't be so ridiculous.

I dont understand why some people think the only things you can do with your time are clean, care for small children or paid work. Honestly, if you only have a job because you lack the imagination to fill your time yourself, thats a lot more to be pitied than a housewife without small kids at home.

I have school aged dcs and a job. But I reckon I could easily fill my time if I didn't have work and school runs to do.

I'm not but I'd love to be a housewife. Realistically we could afford it but the security of having two incomes is too important. The extra disposable income also helps.

I did take a year off work a few years ago after leaving my career and kind of lived the housewife life. I was still contributing to the bills from savings but it was nice to get everything done during the day so my DH and I could do whatever we wanted in the evenings and weekends without worrying about jobs to be done. He mostly enjoyed it but admitted after I went back to work that while I was off he found himself racing to do things before I could out of guilt.

shamalidacdak
How nasty and judgemental.

@bellocchild

For our grandmothers, working after marriage was often not possible. Employers would simply not accept Married Women because their priority should be Home Making. And for men, a wife who went out to work implied that a man was, shamefully, not earning enough to support her. Children whose mothers worked were pitied because there would be no home-cooked lunch for them, and no-one at home to welcome them with a proper tea...

How far back are we going, here?! My grandmother is a doctor. So, no.

Exactly this, a job doesn’t define you as a person. I think this is an uncomfortable concept for many as their perceived identity and value as an individual is often tightly woven into their job. Each to their own but I have loads of interests and hobbies I’d love to pursue once I get a bit more free time on my hands.

I am miserable at work at the moment and this thread is making me question my life choices!

If my husband was happy to support me with no resentment, I think I'd do it.

Gardening
DIY
Crafts
Spend more time with my retired Mum - not just the cursory hi and bye that we manage when I am dropping my kids to her so I can work at a stupid job that I hate
Clean house
Adventurous meals (Charlie bigham I love your offerings but this is not a sustainable way for us to eat)
I'd be so fit and toned and healthy
I'd be there for every school pick up and drop off...

But this isn't really what the OP meant. This is just my life without work, still get to keep the kids!

My opinion on this isnt popular but my dh and I have a traditional marriage where I do work just 2 short shifts per week for pocket money. He is the main breadwinner. I look after the entire home needs, him and children. Which is full time on it's own but I wouldn't call it a job, it's my calling, I love looking after the children, home and making sure his needs are met. I'm not career focused. For me a job is a means to get money and live the life I want. I voluntarily run a toddler group at my local church which I love. I see friends for lunch and coffees. I feel very lucky and blessed with my life and would not change it. If we didnt have children I would do the same as I'm doing now. One not working isnt about being lazy or being financially dependent on a partner. It's about compromising money for being able to invest time in each other, if I worked ft we would not have much time together.

@thecatsthecats

Reading with interest.

I'm working part time alongside studying for a career change. But I am pretty sure I don't want to be employed again - in the sense of line management, strategising, leading and all that nonsense. I'm very good at it, but it takes far too much energy away from my real pleasures in life.

My new career is high demand, highly paid, and in IT. I'd easily be able to meet my financial contributions through consultancy and development on about ten hours a week. I've also been doing online stocks trading and it seems I have rather a knack for it - it's a side income of £20-50 per day (average over a year).

So we're discussing my going VERY part time when we have kids. Working ten hours a week, sending the kids to nursery from 18m. And the rest of my time free to entertain myself and run the household.

I hate running around stressed with life admin. I enjoy how relaxed I am socially without work dragging me down.

But the one thing putting me off is that people will assume that my lovely, high earning DH will be "keeping" me.

honestly why would you care? Those who mind don't matter and those who matter won't care.

@MeSanniesareBrannies It wasnt until 1973 that it became illegal to bar married women from a job.
Of course, plenty of employers did employ married women before that, but others didn't.

Before 1944 most jobs were barred to married women, although some very low paid jobs were open.

It depends how old your grandmother is.

I have two teenagers that are hardly ever at home, and I don't work. Dh has a full on job and our lifestyle is not conducive with two working.

My life is packed and busy and if anything I have to schedule in days off. I am doing a very part time degree in a subject I love, I care for animals one morning a week. I go to the gym, the spa and play tennis in the summer. I walk my dogs, see my friends for coffee and lunch and enjoy days out shopping, boating and some days just relaxing and reading by the fire.

I cook healthy meals every night, dh and I take it in turns and we have an organised and stress free life, with a clean comfortable welcoming home. I plan holidays, travel and fun stuff. I have never wanted to work, and don't have to, and there is no shame in choosing to live your life how you want. I have friends in a similar position, and we are all very happy and contented. I honestly don't know how on earth people work full time and run a house, look after dc - I admire them greatly as I don't think I could do it.