To ask if you are a 'housewife' with no children?

[crochetmonkey74]

I know the term housewife is outdated so first off apologies.
I've always wondered about this , I had a great aunt and uncle who never had children but she never worked. I've always been interested in how this would be (been a bit of a fantasy of mine)
Do any of you have this life ? What is it like?

Lots of people are financially independent and have chosen not to work

Lots of people? Really? I don't think I know any women under the age of about 50 who are entirely financially independent without working.

I know the occasional man who has made enough before 50, but it is pretty rare.

You clearly know people from much wealthier backgrounds than me!

I think there is a difference between exclusively managing your house/enjoying your hobbies, and using some of your time to make a wider contribution, for example by volunteering. While I respect the right for people to live as they please, I must admit I would have less respect for a decision to make no contribution to the world outside of one's own home and relationship. The ability to not have to work is a great privilege, and I would think less of someone who didn't use any of their limitless free time to contribute to society in some way.

Yes, me too, though I know others disagree

I don't qualify as my kids are in their 20's now but I don't work. They both live at home, dh works from home so I'm still making lunch for everyone, dinner, washing.. I do however have a lot of free time in which I shop or see friends, but am very aware when my kids move out I'll have a lot of time on my hands!

Remember that quite often (always?) it's want the working partner wants too.
My ex hated doing any chores around the house, he'd far rather have seen more patients at work.
So, as long as he didn't have to worry about making dinner or buying toilet roll, he was perfectly happy to share his earnings.
He couldn't care less if I spent 5 of my 6 hours doing my hobby, as long as he didn't have to think at all outside of work.
It was win win.

Sheer laziness when no kids involved, there's only so much housework and cooking you can do. I highly doubt they are working theor arses off cooking amd cleaning all week, week in week out!

Someone sounds envious!

What a nasty post - if people don't want to work, and they don't have to, what is it to do with you what they do with their days? If they want to do nothing all day every day, how does it affect you?

@MissMaple82

Sheer laziness when no kids involved, there's only so much housework and cooking you can do. I highly doubt they are working theor arses off cooking amd cleaning all week, week in week out!

Why? Why is it that much more work coming and cleaning for four rather than two if you don’t work?

@PeeAche

I could definitely sit at home all day while my DH went out to work. But he would need to earn enough that I never felt bored.

I'd have so many hobbies. And I'd meet other women like me for long lunches. I'd talk for hours about tedious bullshit like my outfit. And eat cake. But I'd be slim, because that would be the only thing I'd focus on.

I'd probably have Instagram and Pinterest.

I would do all the things I never have time to do. I would take baths. There is no way I couldn't fill my time if I had enough money.

Alas, I am not child free and I work full time. When I take a shower, I clean the tiles while I'm in there. I don't even know how to single task anymore.

Yes! And when I am on the toilet I clean the bits of the bathroom I can reach - sink/floor

Sheer laziness when no kids involved, there's only so much housework and cooking you can do. I highly doubt they are working theor arses off cooking amd cleaning all week, week in week out!

I feel quite sorry for people who really can't fill their days with things to do and the only things they think people who don't work is cook and clean.

I was a housewife for about a year before having kids. DH was offered a job in a location that was ten times our combined income but there was no work for me there. We had planned to have children soon and I wanted to be a sahm at least until they started school so we figured why not take this opportunity.

I absolutely adored it. Both DH and I hate cleaning so we had a cleaner come in regularly. I do love to cook though so we enjoyed three home cooked meals a day and I got to try out so many recipes I'd never had the time for before. DH really loved the fact that he didn't have to do any life admin; all the bills were taken care of, groceries bought and meals sorted, laundry done etc during the week. This left us free during the weekend to just have fun together.

Was I bored during the week? absolutely not! Aside from cooking and looking after our home my days were filled with reading, pursuing various hobbies, going to the gym, taking up a new sport and meeting up with friends. I also started learning a new language.

Did DH resent me not working? No! He loved being able to provide the life I was living and he could see how much he was benefiting from having a happy, relaxed wife. We also put various insurances in place so that if for any reason he couldn't work then we would be covered.

This mainly worked because we both saw the money he earned as our money and had equal access to it. His salary would come into a joint account and I would manage and transfer it into various accounts for bills, mortgage, savings etc. We also agreed upon an equal amount of fun money to be transferred into our private accounts each time he got paid.

If things had gone south I wouldn't have been too worried as I had access to all our savings as well as being married and jointly owning our home and investment properties. I also have a degree in a field which would make finding a job possible even after a break of a few years.

I really enjoyed being a housewife and now adore being a sahm. My youngest will be starting school in a year so I've started doing a Masters in case I want to go back to work then. DH is happy with whatever I decide to do so I guess I'll just have to see how I feel about it then.

However, I'd just like to clarify that this is only something you should consider if you have a rock solid marriage, equal access to all income and a partner who respects and supports your decisions.

@Imyourvenus

I just can’t fathom why anyone would want this. I’d be bored shitless.

I work 1.5 days a week. Now dc is at school I should in theory have loads of free time but I'm so busy. Housework, visiting my dad, walking my dog. I also go yoga once a week and I'm a governor in a school. I literally never have a minute and wonder how full time workers with kids do it.!

Why? Why is it that much more work coming and cleaning for four rather than two if you don’t work?

It's not really sheer numbers. I agree that a house with four adults shouldn't be much more work than one with two, and indeed most people are saying they think someone with grown-up children falls into this category. But there's an absolutely huge, huge increase in the amount of housework that's needed from the adults in a household with young children. Though I still think that it's disingenuous to say that the housework alone would be a full-time job - people are normally also caring for the children in that scenario.

To be clear I don't think there's anything wrong with not working in this situation - it wouldn't be for me but that's nothing to do with other people's life choices! - but I do think it's silly to pretend that in this situation anyone is just so busy and overwhelmed with the housework and that it's the equivalent of a job. Someone in that position has huge amounts of leisure time - good for them!

I am a SAHM but have 3 dc, two with significant disability, so I'm not who this thread is about.

However, I think running a house takes up a surprising amount of time. I organise thr mortgage, bills, dentist/doctors appointments, MOT/car repairs, house maintenance, food shopping, cooking, and clothes washing.

When we both worked we did all that stuff in the evenings and weekends and it was such a waste of precious leisure time!

I also have a range of fabulous hobbies which I could easily give over another 10 hours a week to if I didn't have kids.

However, I think running a house takes up a surprising amount of time. I organise thr mortgage, bills, dentist/doctors appointments, MOT/car repairs, house maintenance, food shopping, cooking, and clothes washing.

Everyone knows how long it takes and what needs to be done to run a house. We all do it, whatever our employment, domestic or financial situations.

Obviously if you have caring duties or equivalent on top of that, you'll have more to do and more stress. But we all have to do food shopping, mortgage, dentist appointments etc. I don't know why these tasks we all need to get done somehow always get listed as if anyone isn't aware.

So many non working people volunteer, I think people criticising forget these people. Those lazy non workers are the ones who listen to your children read, provide activities for your children at school, amuse your children out of school, take them on camps. People who man helplines and support you if you lose your job, are bereaved, feel suicidal. People who help rehabilitate offenders. People who pluck you out of the sea if you get into difficulties... I could go on. I know some people volunteer and work, but many don't, yet still provide vital services.

So many negative accusations. Lazy, unimaginative, boring, unproductive.

And yet, time and again, we are being encouraged to slow down, relax, take time to think, time to one-self, meditate, self care. All these things are beneficial for health and wellbeing.

If you are able, there is absolutely nothing wrong, with doing nothing.

@SusannaQueen

So many non working people volunteer, I think people criticising forget these people. Those lazy non workers are the ones who listen to your children read, provide activities for your children at school, amuse your children out of school, take them on camps. People who man helplines and support you if you lose your job, are bereaved, feel suicidal. People who help rehabilitate offenders. People who pluck you out of the sea if you get into difficulties... I could go on. I know some people volunteer and work, but many don't, yet still provide vital services.

People who work or are retired are the most likely to volunteer. Someone of working age not in paid employment is less likely to volunteer.

@Monopolyiscrap The 35-49 age group is the most active in terms of volunteering

[quote MeSanniesareBrannies]@Monopolyiscrap The 35-49 age group is the most active in terms of volunteering[/quote]
Interesting. Definitely not the case in the place where I volunteer.

@BigWoollyJumpers

So many negative accusations. Lazy, unimaginative, boring, unproductive.

And yet, time and again, we are being encouraged to slow down, relax, take time to think, time to one-self, meditate, self care. All these things are beneficial for health and wellbeing.

If you are able, there is absolutely nothing wrong, with doing nothing.

I agree. As a society we make such a big virtue of being busy and on the go the whole time. I also think children are growing up not knowing how to use free time because their after school hours are so crammed full of scheduled activities.

The Department for Digital, Culture, Media and Sport recently conducted a survey to reveal the volunteer rates in the UK and how they compared to previous years.

65-74-year old’s are the most frequent volunteers29% of 65-74-year old’s volunteer once a month

The least likely group to volunteer were 25-34-year old’s.

Women were found to be more likely to have taken part in regular volunteering than men, with 41% having volunteered monthly at some stage, compared to 36% of men.

www.thirdsectorprotect.co.uk/blog/volunteering-statistics/

People who work or are retired are the most likely to volunteer. Someone of working age not in paid employment is less likely to volunteer.

Not in my experience.

*@Monopolyiscrap The 35-49 age group is the most active in terms of volunteering

Yes. I'm 52, but certainly don't consider that retirement age (in fact I'm planning on going back to work). But most of the people I volunteer with are younger than me. My DD also volunteers and she is 16. DH also volunteers and he is younger than me.

@BingosMum

I was a housewife for about a year before having kids. DH was offered a job in a location that was ten times our combined income but there was no work for me there. We had planned to have children soon and I wanted to be a sahm at least until they started school so we figured why not take this opportunity.

I absolutely adored it. Both DH and I hate cleaning so we had a cleaner come in regularly. I do love to cook though so we enjoyed three home cooked meals a day and I got to try out so many recipes I'd never had the time for before. DH really loved the fact that he didn't have to do any life admin; all the bills were taken care of, groceries bought and meals sorted, laundry done etc during the week. This left us free during the weekend to just have fun together.

Was I bored during the week? absolutely not! Aside from cooking and looking after our home my days were filled with reading, pursuing various hobbies, going to the gym, taking up a new sport and meeting up with friends. I also started learning a new language.

Did DH resent me not working? No! He loved being able to provide the life I was living and he could see how much he was benefiting from having a happy, relaxed wife. We also put various insurances in place so that if for any reason he couldn't work then we would be covered.

This mainly worked because we both saw the money he earned as our money and had equal access to it. His salary would come into a joint account and I would manage and transfer it into various accounts for bills, mortgage, savings etc. We also agreed upon an equal amount of fun money to be transferred into our private accounts each time he got paid.

If things had gone south I wouldn't have been too worried as I had access to all our savings as well as being married and jointly owning our home and investment properties. I also have a degree in a field which would make finding a job possible even after a break of a few years.

I really enjoyed being a housewife and now adore being a sahm. My youngest will be starting school in a year so I've started doing a Masters in case I want to go back to work then. DH is happy with whatever I decide to do so I guess I'll just have to see how I feel about it then.

However, I'd just like to clarify that this is only something you should consider if you have a rock solid marriage, equal access to all income and a partner who respects and supports your decisions.

Agree 100%. Sad how some people can't appreciate that this is possible as not every situation is the same.
My DH says how he loves working and providing for us. His DM worked and he has memories of her being constantly stressed. She did retire at 50 and widowed she manages just fine filling her days. Like others have said, if you have no imagination, then that's when you'll get bored. Some men would hate it and I have a sahm friend who's husband is resentful of her still being at home as the kids are now teens. It has to be a mutual agreement in a loving and secure marriage.

I've had a lovely life for the past 8 years. My name is on the house, on all investments.

I have my breakfast in bed, leisurely get ready then do whatever takes my fancy. At different times, I've done voluntary work and various courses in topics in which I have an interest and think I've enjoyed them all the more for having no other pressures.

When not doing these things, I see friends for lunch. I take myself off to galleries or museums or simply pack a picnic and go to explore an area or place I fancy. I have plenty of time to read, shop, try new recipes or just have an afternoon nap if if I'm feeling tired.

It really is lovely and beats a daily grind as a clerk or admin assistant. If I'd had a burning desire, a vocation, to be a doctor or a teacher or something like that, then I would have done so but to give up my life, my own time, for something that wouldn't make a penny worth of difference to me or the world...absolutely not!

[quote Monopolyiscrap]The Department for Digital, Culture, Media and Sport recently conducted a survey to reveal the volunteer rates in the UK and how they compared to previous years.

65-74-year old’s are the most frequent volunteers29% of 65-74-year old’s volunteer once a month

The least likely group to volunteer were 25-34-year old’s.

Women were found to be more likely to have taken part in regular volunteering than men, with 41% having volunteered monthly at some stage, compared to 36% of men.

www.thirdsectorprotect.co.uk/blog/volunteering-statistics/[/quote]
“In 2020/21, 64 percent of people aged between
65 and 74 volunteered at least once in England,
compared with 53 percent of over 75s.Throughout this time period, the 35-49 age group has been the most active in terms of volunteering.”

From Statista, as opposed to an insurance broker. So, yes, older people volunteer. However, so do you get people, currently at higher rates. And, based on the stats, prior to that it was a pretty close run thing between those age groups. And, as there are circa 5 million more 35-49 year olds than there are 65-79 year olds, that also means more of the former group volunteer (and have historically volunteered) in terms of actual numbers.