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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Inspired by another thread. Is accent mocking ever OK ?

259 replies

toddymummy · 01/02/2022 11:43

This one has always bothered me. Being from mixed European heritage, but not having an accent myself- I have found myself the subject of accent/ gesture mocking many times.

It doesn't happen as much anymore as it used to,say 10-15 years ago, but it does occasionally happen.

Is it ever OK ? People mock all kinds of accents- Irish, Scottish, Welsh, French, Italian, German.

It really bugs me, especially if it's done repeatedly and especially if it's done at work.

AIBU ?

OP posts:
SpongebobsPants · 01/02/2022 17:02

I have had my Belfast accent mocked a lot over the years. People asking me to say phrases then laughing uproariously and mimicking my words in a very exaggerated way. I soon caught on to this and refused to be the entertainment! This has only ever happened in England. I used to visit friends and family there quite frequently. On the other hand plenty of English people went out of their way to say they liked my accent, so it wasn't all bad!

I don't think it's ever ok to mock anyone's accent. It's rude and demeaning.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 01/02/2022 17:03

I have a black country accent. Not particularly broad. Someone I work with used to rip the piss out of it but got the hump when I told him to fuck off. He complained to HR so I put in a grievance for him bullying me.

Kanaloa · 01/02/2022 17:21

@headintheproverbial

OP - in what way don't you 'have an accent yourself'. Do you think that somehow YOUR accent is ground zero, the standard by which the rest of us are judged?!
I hear this all the time though. People always tell me ‘ooh you have an accent’ and I say yes well we all do and they’ll say ‘no I haven’t got an accent.’

I generally assume anyone who says this is quite ignorant and poorly traveled with little understanding of other cultures, a typically small minded type of person who thinks they are ‘the norm’ and everyone who is different from them is weird and defective.

Either that or they’re just a bit stupid really. Because if you were from London and got dropped in the middle of India, you would be the ‘one with an accent.’ Obviously. Anyone over the age of 5/6 who doesn’t understand that is either wilfully obtuse or unfortunately unintelligent.

Runnerduck34 · 01/02/2022 17:21

Not at all acceptable to mock someone's accent.
Has happened to me on occasions ( estuary english!) People who do it are generally trying to make you feel small or stupid and passing it off as a joke.

TheHaka · 01/02/2022 17:28

I love to do an accent, but wouldn’t do it in front of the person. Although if I come across someone on holiday who speaks in broken English, I do the same back. My H goes mad, but at least they understand me far better than they do him.

mbosnz · 01/02/2022 17:33

@SpongebobsPants

I have had my Belfast accent mocked a lot over the years. People asking me to say phrases then laughing uproariously and mimicking my words in a very exaggerated way. I soon caught on to this and refused to be the entertainment! This has only ever happened in England. I used to visit friends and family there quite frequently. On the other hand plenty of English people went out of their way to say they liked my accent, so it wasn't all bad!

I don't think it's ever ok to mock anyone's accent. It's rude and demeaning.

I couldn't believe it, when at a party with a mate from Derry, who kept on having people come up to him, asking him to say specific phrases, and to mimic him. He was very patient. I was less so, by about the fourth drunken sheila.
OneTC · 01/02/2022 17:42

I generally assume anyone who says this is quite ignorant and poorly traveled with little understanding of other cultures, a typically small minded type of person who thinks they are ‘the norm’ and everyone who is different from them is weird and defective.

Someone British thinking like that in Germany is obviously being dim. A Geordie thinking a Londoner has an accent when they're sitting somewhere by the Tyne doesn't seem unreasonable though?

StoneofDestiny · 01/02/2022 17:42

I'm Glaswegian - a pretty distinctive accent. If it's a dick doing it they just make themselves look ridiculous - usually trying in some high pitched 'och aye the noo Jimmy' that nobody ever said in Glasgow or Scotland.

If it's 'friendly fire' joking about - no bother.

IncompleteSenten · 01/02/2022 17:45

I don't think mocking people is ever ok
It's mean and spiteful.

Kanaloa · 01/02/2022 17:45

@oneTC

I’m not talking about someone saying ‘oh that person has a London accent’ but about people who will insist that they themselves do not have an accent at all, just everyone else has one. I think it betrays an incredible level of small mindedness to imply you are the standard of normality and anyone different is an outlier.

MysteriesOfTheOrganism · 01/02/2022 17:48

People we are very close should have earned our trust, and have permission to laugh at our quirks and mannerisms, because we know it's not meant unkindly. (True in a healthy relationship, anyway - and always allowing for people who are sensitive because of their history). Anybody else - no, it's rude and unacceptable.

toddymummy · 01/02/2022 17:48

I don't have a ' foreign ' European accent, is what I meant.

OP posts:
SirChenjins · 01/02/2022 17:49

@OneTC

I generally assume anyone who says this is quite ignorant and poorly traveled with little understanding of other cultures, a typically small minded type of person who thinks they are ‘the norm’ and everyone who is different from them is weird and defective.

Someone British thinking like that in Germany is obviously being dim. A Geordie thinking a Londoner has an accent when they're sitting somewhere by the Tyne doesn't seem unreasonable though?

But presumably the Geordie wouldn't think they haven't got an accent?

There seems to be a prevailing accent (here in Scotland it's Glaswegian, or Edinburgh to a lesser degree, and in England it's a SE accent, providing it's not estuary - no idea about other countries) by which everyone else is measured against as having 'an accent' - even though that's patently not true.

OneTC · 01/02/2022 17:56

No what I meant is I think when people say they haven't got an accent they are thinking locally. Accents are by and large signifiers of locality. Outside of those localities "the norm" is a certain accent

I don't think it's quite as parochial as you're thinking

OhWhyNot · 01/02/2022 17:57

Depends sometimes can be very funny it be times it’s done nastily

I mock some of my families accent and my friends mock their parents accent. My dad and my brother mock accents we find it funny

I find Russell Peters hilarious most of his act is mocking differences

OneTC · 01/02/2022 17:57

*inside of those localities

And it's literally the definition of parochial but I mean I don't think it's driven by ignorance

Kanaloa · 01/02/2022 18:09

Well we’ll have to disagree I guess. I think it is driven by ignorance in the example I was using.

Of course I’m not saying anyone who says ‘oh you must be Scottish, where in Scotland are you from? What a lovely accent’ is ignorant.

But ‘oh you have an accent’ followed by ‘no I don’t have an accent I just speak normally’ is ignorant. The presumption that others are ‘different’ and your way of speaking is the most normal/correct is ignorant.

TheChip · 01/02/2022 18:14

@ZeroFuchsGiven

Meh, I'm a Geordie and even my own kids mock my accent.

Read my name Grin

Same here. If I ask if they want some cake, I am not given an answer, I'm just met with "cyake" or however you would spell it, on repeat haha I'm sure you know what I mean.

I think the whole mocking accent thing, it's the intention that makes the difference.

OneTC · 01/02/2022 18:25

Well we’ll have to disagree I guess. I think it is driven by ignorance in the example I was using.

Yeah I maybe thinking too much of people Grin

Exhausteddog · 01/02/2022 18:26

DH doesn't pronounce Ls in words quite often - something will be pow blue for example, or he will take a tow (rhyming with cow) into the bathroom.

The DC teased him when he said he was growing cow (kale) in the garden but now he tries to say it with an L and sounds very posh, which we all think is hilarious. He teases me about some words I pronounce differently, and we all say DD is the poshest in the family.

trevthecat · 01/02/2022 18:30

I lived in a different area for a few years. It was very obvious I wasn't local and from the North. I still visit the area. People often make comments, some friends mock, or copy. It has never once bothered me! But saying that, accents fascinate me! I think it's mad how different they can be and with all the moving we do now that they haven't blended more. Maybe that alters how I feel about it

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 01/02/2022 18:35

My dd was mocked at a northern university for having an RP accent. And I don’t mean a super-posh cut-glass one.

LJAKS · 01/02/2022 18:36

It's pathetic tbh.
I'm Scottish and if it's not the accent or being asked if I'm an alcoholic it's having my notes refused because they look different 🥴 I hadn't been out of the country in years for obvious reasons and recently travelled to London, forgot how ridiculous people are. I cannot bring myself to utter "eh I think you'll find it's legal tender!" Hmm

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 01/02/2022 18:40

@Userg1234

Mocking doesn't bother me, it's the fact I never hear my accent on TV radio film etc. The BBC excells in posh Welsh, Scouse, Scottish and generic northern....oh the northern voices on radio! But never Bristol/west country. Even radio Bristol until a couple of years ago only had one presenter with a local accent
YES!! Stevan Merchant, that bloke with the long hair (Justin ...?), Bridget Christie. Cant think of anymore.
HunterHearstHelmsley · 01/02/2022 18:43

@OneTC

No what I meant is I think when people say they haven't got an accent they are thinking locally. Accents are by and large signifiers of locality. Outside of those localities "the norm" is a certain accent

I don't think it's quite as parochial as you're thinking

I used to know someone from Essex who was adamant she didn't have an accent but everyone else did. I couldn't quite fathom it.