Inspired by another thread. Is accent mocking ever OK ?

[toddymummy]

This one has always bothered me. Being from mixed European heritage, but not having an accent myself- I have found myself the subject of accent/ gesture mocking many times.

It doesn't happen as much anymore as it used to,say 10-15 years ago, but it does occasionally happen.

Is it ever OK ? People mock all kinds of accents- Irish, Scottish, Welsh, French, Italian, German.

It really bugs me, especially if it's done repeatedly and especially if it's done at work.

AIBU ?

@toddymummy

I think it's quite situational then perhaps ? If people do it all the time, it can get annoying. The occasional mock, isn't too bad perhaps.

Yeah agree with this (I'm Irish) wouldn't bother me at all if it was people I was friendly with or just the odd kind of a thing

All depends on context, friends joking around with each other, lighthearted banter is ok, to complete strangers and particularly combined with other insults is a definite no.

Mocking, no. Joking about/teasing - maybe very occasionally from the right person in the right situation. It can be funny, but it gets tired very quickly. Basically, unless you are sure it will be well received, best avoided.

@FTEngineerM

Hmm I don’t know, there are aspects of any accent that are fun to hear. Including my own, but I’m used to it, isn’t it the difference in pronunciation that is new/fun rather than some racists angle?

Humans are programmed to behave like each other, that’s how someone can change their accent when living somewhere, they start talking like the people around them. That starts with one word/phrase.

Making fun of one's own accent or in a context where everyone is doing it with themselves is one thing and can be good fun.

It's another when it's mocking someone else's particularly when it's an on-going issue where someone is singled out compared to everyone else.

My Y10 DD still gets peers who mock her accent and tell her that she's not really British because of how she sounds. Same school she's been to since mid-Y7 so it not new and it's certainly not fun for her. We've even had an issue with a teacher who would not stop making thoughtless remarks to her even after she asked him not and tried to explain to him, I ended up helping her to make a complaint - he might have thought it was fun, but she felt othered and belittled.

That natural shifting often doesn't make a complete change. I've lived in the same English city for nearly twenty years, immigrated as a teenager, and yeah I've picked up phrases and some intonation, but my mixed twangy accent is easy to pick out, especially if I get annoyed. My kids have lived here their whole life, they have a different mixed accent. It's one thing when everyone is talking about their accents and their backgrounds for fun, it's another that can end up crossing the line into rude and at times into xenophobia when people treat you like a source of entertainment for them or do shite like being shouted out in the streets by a stranger because my child doesn't want to answer his questions because apparently him not recognizing how we sound means we owe him an explanation.

Yes, it's sometimes okay.

It can easily not be okay though. Like other forms of mocking, context is everything.

For me, I don't mind. I have a slight regional one and at work if I have said something that particularly sounds regional, certain colleagues will have a joke with me. I don't mind that, as I've known them and worked closely with them for a long time.

I mock my own too.

If someone is doing it and they either don't know you well and know you'll join in, or know you don't like it and still do it, that's a very different matter.

If someone is doing it and they either don't know you well and know you'll join in,

That was wrong, that should have said and know you won't join in with them.

I tend to think it's situational. When I was growing up, my grandmother, who had quite a posh accent, would sometimes put on a very thick Gloucestershire farmer's accent - that was how many of the people farms around her in childhood spoke. My sister and I, Canadian kids who had never heard anything quite like it, thought it was completely hilarious.

I discovered later she was really quite accurate and I still have a great affection for that particular accent.

Comedy characters, too, are often made or broken based on their accents being right for the character. As a funny story might be at times.

In general though I would say, mocking someone to their face is going to be a bad call. Most people don't like it.

I think that sometimes people don't realise that perhaps their humour isn't quite as unique as they think. Or as entertaining. So, you might have made a joke out of an individual's accent once that day. But it might be the tenth time they've heard it that day, or the hundredth time that week, and they are so damned sick of it, particularly of having to pretend to be oh so amused by your wit. . .

As said, joking is ok, mocking is never ok. But joking should only happen after you are very secure in your group and know how the recipient will take it.

@mbosnz

I think that sometimes people don't realise that perhaps their humour isn't quite as unique as they think. Or as entertaining. So, you might have made a joke out of an individual's accent once that day. But it might be the tenth time they've heard it that day, or the hundredth time that week, and they are so damned sick of it, particularly of having to pretend to be oh so amused by your wit. . .

This can be annoying, but honestly, it's just life. When I worked in food service, people made the same joke to me 100 times a day. When I had small kids, people made the same joke 100 times a day. When I worked in a country not my own, people made the same joke 100 times a day. Etc.

It's a type of small talk and small talk with strangers just doesn't tend to be all that original.

@ZeroFuchsGiven

Meh, I'm a Geordie and even my own kids mock my accent.

Read my name

I'm from the NW via a few other places and I love the Geordie accent, it's my favourite but I do find that I tend to pick it up when I'm there, I don't mean it in an offensive way though! Generally it seems to be considered OK to mock an upper class accent but if a very working class accent's mocked that's not similar to calling someone a 'toff' is OK but calling someone an 'oik' is not apparently.

OP - in what way don't you 'have an accent yourself'. Do you think that somehow YOUR accent is ground zero, the standard by which the rest of us are judged?!

I used to get mocked, as a child ( 60s/70s ) as my parents are from Eastern Europe and the mocking was relentless. Eg 'do you speak double-Dutch at home or do you speak normal like us?' (Queue turkey gobbling noises!)

I'm just so glad that it doesn't happen now. I happen to have a Brummie accent too which was often mocked when I worked in London in the 80s/90s.

Now though , if anyone does an impression of a Brummie accent, it's done affectionately and not in a malicious manner .

I'm Scottish and also have a speech defect so I just LOVE it when people decide to do their Sean Connery at me.

It’s only ok if it’s very gentle between friends or someone mocking themselves imo. I have an RP accent, I don’t get offended by Jack Whitehall doing comedy about it for example but I do get annoyed when people tell me I’m pronouncing things wrong (like bath).

I can’t bear to hear people attempting to replicate my Scottish accent. I’ve lived in England for decades with my lovely English husband and I still have people do this. I absolutely detest it, my sister in law did it and it really changed the way I felt about her. My husband and children never have.
It’s probably the most annoying and offensive thing you can do to someone (okay me)

It depends who's doing it tbh and also how often, I have a south London accent and believe it or not a-lot of my friends who are from the north always mock my accent.. I have never mocked their accents but they mock mine a lot 'blaaady 'ell govna' and 'shaaat aaap' .. that sort of thing lol, tbh that doesn't bother me because they are my friends, but if it was coming from someone who wasn't my mate I might be abit annoyed.. on the other hand, my bf is from Scotland, and when I go up there they all call me posh! Which I am not!! That annoys me more actually haha

Know your audience. I'm from the midlands and I live in the south. I say some words very differently to everyone around me. Sometimes people latch on to the way I say something and have a giggle about it. If it's done with love I don't give a fuck. If it's done from a "anything north of the Watford gap is north and your all cunts" perspective, I'm not too happy about it.

We're Scottish and lived in USA with kids. At school her friends made fun of the way she spoke. They'd ask her to repeat a word over and over again such as "pasta" because it sounded "so different" to how they said it. Then laugh at her for being different. It really confused her. Also had a couple of (male) teachers who would mimic her.

Both kids ended up with a mostly American accent which yup, got made fun of when we moved back to Scotland.

You're

It definitely depends on the context. I'm originally from England, but have lived in the US for a long time. My husband and kids do imitate my accent sometimes, and I (try) to do theirs. But it's done in an affectionate manner, in a way that is almost a bonding experience in that it makes us feel closer.
My (American) friends also occasionally try and imitate my accent. I know that it's meant as flattery rather than making fun, because they think my accent makes me sounds clever and fancy, so I don't mind it as long as it's not all the time.

No, its not ok. It doesnt matter whther you're talking abour a UK accent or an overseas one - mocking someone's accent is childish, bullying behaviour.

@headintheproverbial

OP - in what way don't you 'have an accent yourself'. Do you think that somehow YOUR accent is ground zero, the standard by which the rest of us are judged?!

This. It's an incredibly arrogant statement!

I have a northern accent and it depends. People used to do it when I lived in London. When it's close friends and it's fun, no I don't mind it. But for people I don't know well it's irritating, especially because sometimes it's all someone ever said to me. Like all they know about me is i'm northern and to take the piss. Then I find it patronising and it would put me off the person,

For context I live in Ireland and no one takes the piss out of my accent here, or very rarely and because of something particularly unusual like we are talking about coronation street for example.