If you lose weight do you want people to comment on your weight loss?

Starryskiesinthesky · 2022-02-01T01:19:23+00:00

I am someone who doesnt tend to notice weight too much unless someone loses loads and I then notice, or gains loads, again making it noticable. A friend from work used to get upset that i hadnt commented on her weight loss whereas I just tend not to make personal comments. Am i being unreasonable to not comment on someones weight loss?

Feather12 · 01/02/2022 01:22

You are not unreasonable not to comment. I don’t. But many people want it to be noticed, and why wouldn’t they, it’s a huge achievement. I tend to only comment when brought up in conversation, but I frequently tell people when they are looking great.

gwenneh · 01/02/2022 01:28

I don’t comment on weight loss without context. There are good and bad reasons to lose weight.

DysmalRadius · 01/02/2022 01:29

No! It makes me self conscious and feels like the vocalising of societal pressure!! I never comment on other people's weight loss (or appearance at all, generally, unless the other person brings it up) for the same reason - I feel that too much emphasis on the way people look undermines their other qualities.

booplefloof · 01/02/2022 01:30

I hate it when people comment on my weight. Why does it matter? I have many more layers to my person, and I hold no value to people giving their value on my physical appearance.

Save your breath. Unless you are my DH or bestie and I have specifically asked before I go out.

TwentinQuarantino · 01/02/2022 01:52

I'm the same and don't notice weight change either unless it's really significant. My BF is a little diet obsessed and thinks she has a lot of weight to lose (she really doesn't). She's constantly asking me if I noticed changes good or bad and I can never tell. It's unhealthy for people to be so fixated on size and annoying for the rest of us.

DropYourSword · 01/02/2022 01:52

Not, it irritates me.
I lost a bit of weight and I was fucking irritated with all the "there's nothing left of you", "you're wasting away" comments I got. I'd much prefer people kept it to themselves.

I'd say to your friend you make a conscious decision not to comment on people's weight or appearance.

Wingedharpy · 01/02/2022 01:52

What gwenneh said.

Topseyt · 01/02/2022 02:03

I don't like comments about my weight at all, so I don't make those comments to other people either.

I am overweight. I'd love to lose weight, but even if I ever manage it, I don't really want commentary from other people, well meaning though some of it may well be. It is a sensitive subject for me.

DeathBy1000PipeCleaners · 01/02/2022 02:05

I have mixed feelings about this: the only time anyone - family or friends - has ever complimented me is when I've been underweight.

I've slimmed to (only just) underweight many times over the years because I want to look "good," but when I get there, and people squeal "Oh my god you look great! So skinny!" (and those are always the words) I feel horrible inside because I shouldn't HAVE to look skinny to look good.

I feel horrible because people equate skinny with good. I feel horrible because people notice my weight. I feel horrible because when my weight goes above 120lb the compliments always stop because people have noticed and decided I'm too big for compliments at just 120lb and it's all just a bit fucked up, really.

I tell people they look really well, or really happy, or really stylish, or that they're glowing. I avoid mentioning weight or size altogether: I think health and strength are better goals.

KohlaParasaurus · 01/02/2022 02:25

I try to avoid commenting on anyone else's body size unless it's professionally relevant and have a special horrified look for anyone who does it to me.

AdriannaP · 01/02/2022 02:29

It’s a good idea not to make personal comments to a work friend. I definitely don’t like people commenting on my weight loss especially not at work.

user1471447924 · 01/02/2022 02:53

I probably wouldn’t unless I knew the person and their circumstances well enough to be assured I wasn’t complimenting illness or any kind of unwanted/in intentional change in weight.

Ponyo001 · 01/02/2022 03:03

No, I think it's rude and short-sighted if you don't know the person very well. I would never say it, unless it was a close friend or my mum and they'd been telling me how they'd been on a diet.

As to random acquaintances saying it, for all anyone knows you could have been seriously ill and that's why you've lost weight.

TigerLilyTail · 01/02/2022 03:11

I agree that you shouldn't comment on people's bodies. A lot of peoples weight yo-yos, so it can be hard for them to hear loads of "wow you look great" when they lose weight.

Flowersandbread · 01/02/2022 06:14

My sil tried very hard to lose quite a lot of weight after having kids and when I saw her after lockdown she looked incredible and I told her so.

Likewise I've recently changed shape a bit through workouts and I'll not lie I love the compliments. I'm a confident person but the little ego boosts brighten my day a little

Probably wouldn't comment on people at work though

Gobbolino7825 · 01/02/2022 06:22

'You look great' is the only thing I ever say about someone's appearance. And that's whether they appear to have lost weight or not. It's a nice compliment I think anyone would want to hear and covers all bases!

I hate people commenting on my weight - it's way too personal and makes me feel like they're scrutinising my size. (And I'm a completely normal size) I can't imagine how it would make someone feel who did actually have issues about their weight!

PinkSyCo · 01/02/2022 06:28

I think if you know that someone’s actively trying to lose weight it’s nice to give them a little encouragement on the way by mentioning that you can see a difference, but if not I probably wouldn’t mention it.

fellrunner85 · 01/02/2022 06:29

Mixed experience here. I liked the no-fuss compliments (ie "you look great, how did you do it" and there were some funny experiences, like extended family genuinely not recognising me at a wedding.

But on the flip side, losing a lot of weight and getting fit can bring out the worst in other people. I had people who I think were jealous telling me I looked "gaunt" etc (I didn't). I think people were used to seeing me fat, so me being thin unnerved them.

Blossomtoes · 01/02/2022 06:34

Hell yes! I lost a shedload a few years ago and the comments when it became obvious really spurred me on to keep going. Every time someone commented it put a smile on my face.

Newrunner29 · 01/02/2022 06:40

@DeathBy1000PipeCleaners

I have mixed feelings about this: the only time anyone - family or friends - has ever complimented me is when I've been underweight.

I've slimmed to (only just) underweight many times over the years because I want to look "good," but when I get there, and people squeal "Oh my god you look great! So skinny!" (and those are always the words) I feel horrible inside because I shouldn't HAVE to look skinny to look good.

I feel horrible because people equate skinny with good. I feel horrible because people notice my weight. I feel horrible because when my weight goes above 120lb the compliments always stop because people have noticed and decided I'm too big for compliments at just 120lb and it's all just a bit fucked up, really.

I tell people they look really well, or really happy, or really stylish, or that they're glowing. I avoid mentioning weight or size altogether: I think health and strength are better goals.

I think this is why commenting on someones weight is just so toxic, ur basically saying well done ur good and im bad (as im overweight)

FindingMeno · 01/02/2022 06:41

I like it.

Newrunner29 · 01/02/2022 06:44

@Blossomtoes

Hell yes! I lost a shedload a few years ago and the comments when it became obvious really spurred me on to keep going. Every time someone commented it put a smile on my face.

This happened to my friend who was slim to start with, she wasnt great mentally and wasnt eating much , started getting loads of wow u look amazing as she has lost quite bit of weight and was probably classed as underweight, and it caused her to not eat as much as she liked the compliments

Words · 01/02/2022 06:46

It depends. Generally it's ok, although it is odd that people's size conveys so much social currency However.

I've lost a lot of weight over the last 18 months and when a colleague saw me for the first time she said 'wow! You're half the size!' Which made me feel really, really awful.

I am not generally over-sensitive about things like that, and am losing weight for health reasons, not vanity. It was very upsetting.

Stormyinacoffeemug · 01/02/2022 06:46

I think it depends if they are vocal about it and how close your relationship was. If it's someone who is constantly talking about losing and things associated with it then they will expect a comment when you notice. If it was someone who doesn't mention it but visually drops a few stone, I would only mention it if I knew them well enough.

User2638483 · 01/02/2022 06:47

I don’t particularly like it being commented on… especially people who go over the top about how amazing I look. As what I hear is how shit they must have thought I looked before!
It also rings in my ears when I (inevitably) regain weight as I think if they noticed when I lost it they must be noticing me gaining it and thinking how terrible I look.

But I appreciate I don’t have a great relationship with food and weight and self image…. 😆