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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Complain about workmen?

119 replies

SB1971 · 31/01/2022 14:30

We are having our bathroom re-fitted and one of the men has asked by DD 17 for her number.
She felt awkward and gave it to him but having established he was almost 30 and she is just turned 17 that he was too old.
Non of the messages are rude etc and she should not have given him her number in the first place but I think I need to complain to his boss don't I?
It does not feel appropriate at all and now she will feel awkward in the house with him here - probably just tmrw afternoon and I will be here also.
I should complain shouldn't I?

OP posts:

RoseGoldEagle · 01/02/2022 05:31

I think you handled that perfectly OP. Amazed (and depressed) at the number of posters who think this isn’t a big deal. If that same guy had been chatting to DD in a bar, asked for her number, realised the age gap and backed off- that’s different, but to ask her in her own home, where he knows since she’s at college she’s probably around that age, is just so inappropriate. It’s great your DD is confident and could tell you about it (and telling isn’t it that despite being confident, she still wasn’t sure how to handle this- why should she be?), what about when he goes to someone else’s house and asks their DD of a similar age for her number, but they haven’t got a great relationship with their parents, and feel flattered, and maybe meet this guy. Do you honestly think he’d then back off when he realised that girls age? This man needs to be told categorically to get on with the job he’s being paid for and not to ask the kids of the people he’s working for for their numbers.

sweetbellyhigh · 01/02/2022 05:36

So inappropriate.

Workmen are there to work, not to eye up the women on site.

A lot of places would sack a worker for that.

I would absolutely complain.

doorornottodoor · 01/02/2022 07:49

Well done @SB1971 that’s a masterclass in asserting yourself for your DD. ❤️

nannybeach · 01/02/2022 07:52

You gave out her number presumably without asking her

Hrpuffnstuff1 · 01/02/2022 08:03

@hangrylady

I wouldn't complain to his boss but after my husband had had a word with him, he wouldn't be doing it again.

Are you married to Mike Tyson?

It's not professional for the people working for you to be asking your daughter out. Definitely overstepping the boundaries in the transaction.
I'd be mortified if one of my subcontractors behaved in that manner, I'd take them off the job.

lovescaca · 01/02/2022 08:05

I think you need to speak to ur daughter about giving in so easy. What did the man do exactly to make her feel pressured?

SarahDippity · 01/02/2022 08:13

I’m so pleased you took the decision to call the company, @SB1971. Can’t believe how many posters seem to see no wrong in his actions.

StrawberrySquirrelThief · 01/02/2022 08:20

That’s a good outcome OP. Can’t believe the number of people on here who think it was fine - no matter your daughters age it’s just inappropriate and unprofessional.

allinadaystwerk · 01/02/2022 09:03

There's some key learning for you dd here op and for the record, he needs to know that asking customers for numbers is not appropriate at all. I'd be having words for sure

mogsrus · 01/02/2022 09:17

Why would you yourself not tell the workman that it is inappropriate,?
He’s in your house so show him the door good grief

Dancingsmile · 01/02/2022 09:54

He obviously thought she was older. Found out she wasn't and apologised.
I think that's very appropriate.

I would chat to your D about not doing something she doesn't want to and how to respond in these situations.
Talk to the man if you want but deal with it at ground level first.

MsAgnesDiPesto · 01/02/2022 10:10

There’s a difference in asking someone out at work where you are both peers and work in an environment with other people, and doing the same thing in someone’s home. He placed her in a position where she felt uncomfortable in her own home, which is never right. Women know that spurned men have the capacity to become aggressive and violent, and even if that’s an extreme possibility, it nevertheless remains a possibility. In putting her in this position he made her feel potentially unsafe in her own home, in the knowledge that he would be returning there, at least once more. That is not acceptable.

billy1966 · 01/02/2022 10:15

I think you did the right thing.

The fact he was in your home doing a job made this NOT ok, even if she was 25.

He put her on the spot in HER home.

He was wrong.

I would be very unhappy.

The Foreman wasn't happy either and knows bloody well this is neither appropriate nor professional.

He's on the job, not on the pull in people's private homes.

The fact your daughter wanted to absent herself until he was finished in your home, tells you EVERYTHING about how inappropriate his actions were.

OooohAhhhh · 01/02/2022 12:53

Fantastic outcome OP, I am glad you got in touch with the company. Whatever the final outcome is, disciplinary, sacked, whatever, he needs to be made aware this behaviour is not acceptable, and you reporting him has done just this. Men need to know it's not ok to harass women.
Hope your daughter is ok

limitedperiodonly · 01/02/2022 13:29

To the women asking if OP wants this man to get the sack: that's beyond her control and should never be a consideration when deciding whether to complain about anything.

She is unhappy with his conduct and has brought it to the attention of his employer. It's up to him how he deals with it. If he decides to dismiss the man that's his decision just as it would be to keep him on but to send him to do up the bathroom of someone who hasn't complained yet and doesn't have teenage daughters and creepy workmen with the raging horn for young girls.

It's also irrelevant to wang on about how you were delighted to meet your man on the job. That is your choice and I respect that.

After something like this someone once asked me: "What do you want, lady? Do you want me to sack him? " I said yes, but that would be a decision for him as a sub contractor or in fact his ultimate employer who granted him the contract. The man's fate was nothing to do with me. I simply didn't want him coming round my house any more.

ManAlive24 · 01/02/2022 13:37

He was hitting on a customer. Not sure why the pick me girls in here think that's appropriate.

limitedperiodonly · 01/02/2022 13:41

Anyway, he's a fucking creep and everyone knows that including the blokes who work with him. A 30-year-old man using his employment to perve on a barely 17-year-old girl in her own home? I'm a lot older than that and I wouldn't trust him around my knicker drawer.

Allycott · 01/02/2022 13:46

Builder is 30? Give him your number instead 😁😁😁😁

sweetbellyhigh · 01/02/2022 20:11

Great outcome.

It's depressing how many women in here point yo the teenage girl as being at fault for having the audacity to expect respectful interaction in her own home.

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