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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Petty pils, didn't wait for us, then moaned about fils old tux

559 replies

Hisanimalgrace · 28/01/2022 21:20

Going to an event, we were massively delayed in traffic getting to pils .They couldn't wait for us.
So when we arrived they were leaving and mil clocked our friend in pils old tux which dh had leant him, an old 80s thing.??

Dh served us done drinks by which point fil was calling dh saying if we didn't leave immediately we wouldn't get a space in the car park! When we got to the car park it was half empty.
Mil then questioned dh about the tux friend wearing as she felt it was actually fils old one and that was for dh not to give away.

OP posts:

ChargingBuck · 29/01/2022 12:53

@SimonedeBeauvoirscat

OP I am very concerned about your communication skills. If this load of garbled incoherent incomplete waffle is your usual standard of communication then I strongly suspect that the main reason you encounter these types of situations in your life is your inability to express yourself clearly.

Do you read - books, newspapers, magazines? I think you need to read more widely and practice setting down your thoughts in a structured and comprehensive manner.

It must greatly affect your day to day life. I can’t imagine you are employable in most jobs, for one thing.

Miaow!

Love it, @SimonedeBeauvoirscat. Spoken like a true lady of letters.

lunar1 · 29/01/2022 12:53

@Hisanimalgrace

Ok, so no one has nipped to the shop's and found themselves stuck in some massive traffic problem?

Being stuck doesn't affect you you just happily sit? Not stressful? Is this why we have so many traffic problems in the UK because no own bats an eye at being stuck?

I can't believe I'm even having too explain normal human feelings being stuck in traffic. WHEN YOU DIDNT EXPECT TO BE

This is why nobody understands, it is a normal reaction to be stressed when running late. So you nip in go to the bathroom, straighten your self up and get going.

It's not normal to be stressed about being late and react to this by deliberately being even later.

milkyaqua · 29/01/2022 12:55

@ChargingBuck

There are a few things I'd like to say to you but I'm holding back.

Said OP, never, when surveying somebody else's booze cabinet.

Isntisironic1 · 29/01/2022 12:56

@Hisanimalgrace

Charging.

I have endlessly explained now, that we were not holding them up at the venue.

So why on earth would they lie about parking except to get us out?
Why do adults need calling several times?
Except if you don't want them in your house without your supervision.

Posters are happily glossing over this,

Ok for arguments say let’s say they didn’t want you guys in the house….so what?!

Do you pay their mortgage/rent? Their house their rules, they don’t need to give you an explanation.

But regardless of this you ARE still being unreasonable. If you wanted pre drinks so it at your OWN house at your OWN cost

PriamFarrl · 29/01/2022 12:58

A couple of questions.

You said that you wouldn’t see them at the event so the point of the pre event drink was a chat and catch up. So what was the point in the after the in-laws had left the house?

You also said it wasn’t an event with a defined start time but then you say that the in-laws had a box and you were in the gods. What kind of show is it that doesn’t have a start time?

Original poster

Hisanimalgrace · 29/01/2022 12:58

It was our choice though how early or late we wanted to be.

We had tried to be on time for the drinks and were unexpectedly delayed.

Thumb perhaps your onto something there actually maybe it's friend they didn't trust. Mil made it crystal clear she didn't like him at all.
16 pages and maybe there is a break through to actually make sense of pils panic and lies. He is far from their kind of people.

OP posts:

Isntisironic1 · 29/01/2022 12:59

@PriamFarrl

A couple of questions.

You said that you wouldn’t see them at the event so the point of the pre event drink was a chat and catch up. So what was the point in the after the in-laws had left the house?

You also said it wasn’t an event with a defined start time but then you say that the in-laws had a box and you were in the gods. What kind of show is it that doesn’t have a start time?

She’s changed the story so many times she can’t remember. I’m sure there was a point….

merrymouse · 29/01/2022 13:00

@Hisanimalgrace

Ok, so no one has nipped to the shop's and found themselves stuck in some massive traffic problem?

Being stuck doesn't affect you you just happily sit? Not stressful? Is this why we have so many traffic problems in the UK because no own bats an eye at being stuck?

I can't believe I'm even having too explain normal human feelings being stuck in traffic. WHEN YOU DIDNT EXPECT TO BE

Traffic jams are just part of every day life. It’s not normal to need a stiff drink and a sit down after a traffic jam. From what you say your PIL are right to feel they need to keep an eye on you.

Isntisironic1 · 29/01/2022 13:00

@Hisanimalgrace

It was our choice though how early or late we wanted to be.

We had tried to be on time for the drinks and were unexpectedly delayed.

If you’re late for drinks at someone’s house and they are already leaving it’s not ok to stay 😂😂 why can’t you grasp this?

Original poster

Hisanimalgrace · 29/01/2022 13:01

I have not changed my story and I used the box as an illustration of the sort of division going on. I didn't say it was that.

OP posts:

Original poster

Hisanimalgrace · 29/01/2022 13:02

I think thumb possibly has it, perhaps it's all about our friend.

OP posts:

Isntisironic1 · 29/01/2022 13:02

@Hisanimalgrace

I have not changed my story and I used the box as an illustration of the sort of division going on. I didn't say it was that.

You have changed your story as I said earlier it had changed 6 times by page 3 and I couldn’t keep up

merrymouse · 29/01/2022 13:03

We had tried to be on time for the drinks and were unexpectedly delayed.

It sounds as though the drinks are more important than they should be. If the point was to see PIL they had left, so it’s not clear why you couldn’t just go on to the venue.

It’s not as though they can’t see you regularly, so not clear why they needed to stay and drink with you when they had paid for tickets to go to an event.

ChargingBuck · 29/01/2022 13:04

[quote Quartz2208]@ChargingBuck I never said they suffered from anxiety I said they were anxious about being late and probably locking up the house. There is a difference. Plus not entirely sure what point you are trying to make.[/quote]
I never said you said they suffered from anxiety.

The point I am making (not trying, it's clear to anyone who doesn't wish to be obtuse) is that liking to ensure punctuality & security doesn't equal being anxious about punctuality & security.

Jaxhog · 29/01/2022 13:06

@Hisanimalgrace

They didn't trust us in their house, not even for half an hour. We couldn't have a drink in peace! The car park was an excuse to pummel us out. Yes we were late but it couldn't be helped.

You were rude in insisting on staying for a drink in their house after arriving late, thus delaying your collective departure even further. Your MiL was probably upset about this and lashed out re the old suit.

ChargingBuck · 29/01/2022 13:07

That's how I know it was a ruse of theirs.

Ruse. RUSE! The plot thickens!!

Brava! Go on OP have one on me. You know you want to.

Doomscrolling · 29/01/2022 13:08

@Hisanimalgrace

I think thumb possibly has it, perhaps it's all about our friend.

Yeah, definitely not about you being really late to a black tie event that was clearly important to your catered-box-attending PIL. And not about you using their house as a free bar for you while they were out.

EmbarrassingHadrosaurus · 29/01/2022 13:10

16 pages and maybe there is a break through to actually make sense of pils panic and lies. He is far from their kind of people.

You're telling the story of "panic and lies" and none of it was helped by your initially incoherent posts.

I wonder what the PILs' version of events would be.

Bananarama21 · 29/01/2022 13:11

You sound like a nightmare dil and a cf to boot.

HerRoyalHappiness · 29/01/2022 13:14

Youre a CF. You don't just sit and drink in someone's house with someone they don't know!
Of course they were concerned. You took a stranger into their home.

ChargingBuck · 29/01/2022 13:16

@Hisanimalgrace

Charging.

I have endlessly explained now, that we were not holding them up at the venue.

So why on earth would they lie about parking except to get us out?
Why do adults need calling several times?
Except if you don't want them in your house without your supervision.

Posters are happily glossing over this,

Yeah, that glossing over is just weird innit.

Or ... (drum roll) IS IT?

Because many, many PP have, far from glossing, read very carefully, & kindly gave you explanations for why PiL rang you - HINT - it was fuck-all to do with "supervision". Or car parks.

You have 'endlessly explained', says you, but obvs not endlessly read even the more patient replies. How rude!

CustardySergeant · 29/01/2022 13:17

OP, can you please clarify whether 'drinks' means alcoholic drinks? If so, who drunk them? Surely not the person who would be driving to the venue. It's not at all clear from your posts thus far.

MichaelAndEagle · 29/01/2022 13:19

@HerRoyalHappiness

Youre a CF. You don't just sit and drink in someone's house with someone they don't know! Of course they were concerned. You took a stranger into their home.

And a stranger wearing one of FILs old tuxedos to boot! They must have been wtaf??

Original poster

Hisanimalgrace · 29/01/2022 13:20

Yes because it does rest on the car park doesn't it?

People are choosing to give pils benefit of the doubt over it being full/filling up,rather than me.

If I could prove and evidence that the car park would never be full they know it, I knew it when they were calling, it puts rather a different spin on their behaviour.

Thankfully an insightful poster has actually pointed something out that I think was pils real problem. Our friend. That makes sense to me.

OP posts:

Original poster

Hisanimalgrace · 29/01/2022 13:21

For goodness sake, drink drivers????
Really??

OP posts:

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