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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To use benefits to put down a deposit for a house

435 replies

Bringinglightandpeace · 28/01/2022 14:08

Hello all,

This thread is not about me.

I have a friend who is feeling incredibly guilty. This is how it goes... so she applied for benefits, she has children and a husband,,, well technically partner but anyway she received a huge backlog of benefits. She confided in me that she would like to use the money to to put down a deposit for a help to buy scheme or shared ownership. I told her "well you have to use every opportunity that you can get" but in my conscience, I was thinking, is this right? I am on benefits myself so not judging at all. She feels a bit down about it as it's not her hard on money that she used to put a deposit down..but then again some parents give their children money for a deposit... so I guess it's similar.

However, I feel a bit of itch and thought to myself that I don't think what she is doing is right. But then again, I don't want to come across as jealous. What do you all think?

OP posts:
freecuthbert · 28/01/2022 15:59

As others have said, it will be impossible for her or her partner to get a mortgage because a) she has no income besides benefits which don't count, b) he has loads of debt and shady financial history, and c) she has literally committed benefit fraud which will get found out when their finances are scrutinised in mortgage process.

He's literally paying the electricity bill for their address, it really won't be that hard to prove he lives there.

The backpayment she received is fraudulent. But this isn't the only fraud she has committed, but I presume she also gets the single person discount on her council tax. Basically she's in lots and lots of trouble.

I also can't believe she would hand over the money to this man who is in serious amounts of debt and can't control his spending. I doubt she'll ever see that money again AND she will be stuck with a massive debt to DWP and possibly a prison sentence. Her poor children!

Onthefloor2 · 28/01/2022 16:00

To be honest i don’t think it should be counted as fraud.

It’s just a boyfriend, that’s not much really is it, in way of him having to contribute towards the cost of life, so why their salary is taken into account doesn’t make sense.

As just a girlfriend….I wouldn’t support my boyfriend financially just because we lived together, if he had money problems then that’s his business so shoukd be able to claim as if he was single.

If you declare a partner lives with you, then their salary should, by law, have to be committed by half to pay the bills or something so there js a bit of security in disclosing it.

A boyfriend or girlfriend isn’t enough to feel financially secure.

Original poster
Bringinglightandpeace · 28/01/2022 16:02

I also can't believe she would hand over the money to this man who is in serious amounts of debt and can't control his spending

I told her it was a ludicrous idea and that she should not have even told him that she received a huge backlog. I hate being confrontational with my friend but I do have to say to her about the implications of her actions. The issue with her is that she is quite stuck, she is very head strong and don't know fully accept advice easily. She will listen but there's always an excuse.

OP posts:
Kebabandchipsplease · 28/01/2022 16:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BoredatHome321 · 28/01/2022 16:04

@Onthefloor2 it doesn't matter though, it is fraud and that's the bottom line, she will get caught, eventually.

RosyappleA · 28/01/2022 16:05

If she is living with him it is fraud according to the law it is equal to being married as they are both financially responsible for the bills. So the benefits are paying for his part too. I understand you as i am sick of those people who claim whilst the husband is working and they act single so raise their kids on benefits whilst the rest of us have to work or suffer loss of income if we stay at home.

anon12345678901 · 28/01/2022 16:05

@Bringinglightandpeace

But the issue is that I know of many people who do this and they do not get caught.
You need to be around people with better morals.
Original poster
Bringinglightandpeace · 28/01/2022 16:06

@RosyappleA

If she is living with him it is fraud according to the law it is equal to being married as they are both financially responsible for the bills. So the benefits are paying for his part too. I understand you as i am sick of those people who claim whilst the husband is working and they act single so raise their kids on benefits whilst the rest of us have to work or suffer loss of income if we stay at home.
That's exactly how I feel but I didn't want to come across or seen that I was jealous.
OP posts:
BoredatHome321 · 28/01/2022 16:06

Are you going to say something?

Amisillyornot · 28/01/2022 16:07

@Bringinglightandpeace

But the issue is that I know of many people who do this and they do not get caught.
R u sure this is about your friend 🤔 😏 🙄 😕
Suzanne999 · 28/01/2022 16:08

Sorry, hadn’t read full i fo.
If she’s claiming as a single person when there are two adults, one in work, then no she shouldn’t have claimed on the basis she did. She could end up being prosecuted.

Original poster
Bringinglightandpeace · 28/01/2022 16:08

@BoredatHome321

Are you going to say something?
Report her? No. But I will tell her that her plan is stupid and that she needs to act fast and tell DWP that her partner is living with her or kick him out, let him stay at his parents house and work together (separately) to save for a deposit.
OP posts:
Peppapigforlife · 28/01/2022 16:08

I think she knows what she's doing. She's playing the system. Sounds like she got a council house fraudulently too by pretending to be a single mum.

If they're 'just short' of enough for a mortgage deposit then it also sounds like between them they've got more than £16k saved which is over the benefits threshold.
And she's claiming PIP, which is for a disability yet intends to get a full time job.
She doesn't want to get rid of the partner because it will make it harder to get a mortgage and she doesn't want to be honest and get rid of the benefits because partner has debts. She's having her cake and eating it.

Suzi888 · 28/01/2022 16:08

How can you have a “husband, technically partner” lol. Which is it? Partner I presume.

Sounds like she has committed fraud then, she’s been economical with the truth. The benefit has been backdated not backlogged…

I used to process benefit many moons ago, fraud is rife. At least she’s using it to get a house I suppose, I hope she intends to be honest going forward and declare the true facts to the authority/DWP etc…. but probably not.

Kebabandchipsplease · 28/01/2022 16:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cissyandflora · 28/01/2022 16:09

@SpilltheTea

She feels guilty because she's knowingly committing fraud. People like her are the reason society looks down on people on benefits.
I agree with this comment. I would feel great shame to be on benefits for the reason that people think those claiming are skiving or dishonest. It’s horrible.
FreyaMaya · 28/01/2022 16:10

@GirlInACountrySong

OP.... there is no friend, this is blatantly about YOU !
I was thinking the same! Trying to get advice without sounding suss
Original poster
Bringinglightandpeace · 28/01/2022 16:11

This is not about me. I honestly didn't want to come across as jealous when posting the thread.

OP posts:
Whammyyammy · 28/01/2022 16:11

This post is just glorifying benefits fraud and demonising genuine claimants.
Imagine the DM headline "benefit cheats save house deposit"..... I'm starting to think the OP is now the PM chasing votes. Is that you Boris?

Original poster
Bringinglightandpeace · 28/01/2022 16:12

@Whammyyammy

This post is just glorifying benefits fraud and demonising genuine claimants. Imagine the DM headline "benefit cheats save house deposit"..... I'm starting to think the OP is now the PM chasing votes. Is that you Boris?
Ok I'm going to bow out of the thread. No way was I intending to glorify benefit fraud.
OP posts:
Suzi888 · 28/01/2022 16:13

Thread will self destruct shortly 😕😂

Yes she should feel guilty- if there’s paperwork, there’s a trail…

JohnStonesMissus · 28/01/2022 16:13

@Onthefloor2

To be honest i don’t think it should be counted as fraud.

It’s just a boyfriend, that’s not much really is it, in way of him having to contribute towards the cost of life, so why their salary is taken into account doesn’t make sense.

As just a girlfriend….I wouldn’t support my boyfriend financially just because we lived together, if he had money problems then that’s his business so shoukd be able to claim as if he was single.

If you declare a partner lives with you, then their salary should, by law, have to be committed by half to pay the bills or something so there js a bit of security in disclosing it.

A boyfriend or girlfriend isn’t enough to feel financially secure.

It doesn't matter what you think, it's still fraud....
MsAgnesDiPesto · 28/01/2022 16:13

@Onthefloor2

To be honest i don’t think it should be counted as fraud.

It’s just a boyfriend, that’s not much really is it, in way of him having to contribute towards the cost of life, so why their salary is taken into account doesn’t make sense.

As just a girlfriend….I wouldn’t support my boyfriend financially just because we lived together, if he had money problems then that’s his business so shoukd be able to claim as if he was single.

If you declare a partner lives with you, then their salary should, by law, have to be committed by half to pay the bills or something so there js a bit of security in disclosing it.

A boyfriend or girlfriend isn’t enough to feel financially secure.

Unbelievable.

He is working and living in the same house and contributing to their joint expenses. Yet you, me, and all other taxpayers are paying their housing costs, along with our own.

I am saving for a new kitchen. This will be delayed by the rise in my mortgage as interest rates rise, and the additional Nation Insurance I am having to pay. Why should I also subsidise someone who can afford to pay for their own housing, but chooses to commit fraud so that I have to pick up the tab?

Lovemusic33 · 28/01/2022 16:14

I don’t know many people that have done what you are describing to us OP, not many people would get away with it here as everyone’s nosey and would report it. I know of one person that’s possibly claiming her partner doesn’t live with her, they are both taking up 2 council houses whilst living together but I only know this through hear say. I think your friends taking a massive risk that could land her in prison. I hope some one does report her.

FrostedCupcakes · 28/01/2022 16:15

It's benefit fraud and needs to be reported. You can report anonymously.

She has knowingly not declared her partner that lives with her.