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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it’s disingenuous to say breastfeeding is free?

673 replies

Jerrui · 28/01/2022 02:09

When pregnant encountered lots and lots of breastfeeding promotion- often it’s cited it being free as a benefit.

I have personally found as soon as you actually have a baby and are feeding it there is absolutely zero support. In my area there is no infant feeding team etc just community midwife who told me to substitute BF with FF at two weeks old when baby failed to regain birth weight.

I have spent hundreds of pounds on lactation consultant, double electric pump, milk storage, trying to keep breastfeeding going.

I have added formula top up and was shocked how cheap it is. We got bottles for free in those Emma’s diary type packs, and Aldi formula costs £2 a week.

I think trying to promote breastfeeding as a more economic option to pregnant women is stupid.
I feel actually public funds would be much better spend on training and recruiting to provide actual support to mothers trying to breastfeed, rather than health promotion with misleading, simplistic and dumbed down messages.
I feel it’s no wonder breastfeeding is mainly the preserve of the middle classes when you have to invest so much money to get any help!

OP posts:
lololololollll · 30/01/2022 06:01

I wouldn't say disingenuous, I always said it was free because I actually had no idea about all these costs as it was luckily fine for me, so I'm not trying to mislead when I say that, I mean it

Mangoandbroccoli · 30/01/2022 07:55

In the event that someone is reading this right now and is hoping to breastfeed but feeling a bit phased by many posts here, the National Breastfeeding Helpline was brilliant for me and completely free. Here's the number to have to hand in case needed: 0300 100 0212

It's also worth researching any drop in clinics in your area so you know where to go for help straight away if needed. If you still have a local children's centre then check timetables with them. Our small town also has a playgroup with a lactation consultant who comes along for free each week.

Knowing these support lines before hand might really help but ultimately I hope you find the journey that works best for you Smile

stairway · 30/01/2022 08:37

EmiliaAirheart but delaying going to work to breast feed is middle class privilege, it doesn’t stop breastfeeding being essentially free.

RidingMyBike · 30/01/2022 08:43

I did genuinely believe I would feed my baby for free for the first six months because the NHS told me this!

This is the objection, that they're giving out inaccurate information. Some more acknowledgement that costs and experiences vary. Why can people not realise that everyone's experience is different? And with BFing there's often no way of knowing in advance how easy or difficult (or impossible) it will be.

I know some women do find it to be free but I didn't have any choice about getting a pump, for instance, because my milk failed to come in and I needed to triple feed. And I needed the pump NOW, without time to source secondhand or wait for parts etc. And if you're pumping both sides for half an hour 8x per day as well as BFing direct to try and get your supply going you really do need a double electric pump, because a single manual that would be fine for an occasional pump if you want to go out just doesn't cut it.

DontWantTheRivalry · 30/01/2022 08:49

It certainly wasn’t free for me.

The cost of breastfeeding bras
The cost of breastfeeding clothes
Breast pads for God knows how long.
Nipple shields.
Breast pumps.

With baby number 1 I had to see a lactation consultant and that cost £140.

With baby number two he had a tongue tie repair (£140) and then required three sessions of osteopathy as he had issues with his neck alignment which meant he couldn’t feed properly. His Osteopathy treatment cost another £150 and then at 4 months old he needed his tongue tie cutting again so another £140. So that’s just over £400 to get him feeding properly.

He was also diagnosed with CMPI so I had to switch to a dairy free diet and that wasn’t cheap either.

In the long run I’m sure breastfeeding is much cheaper than formula feeding, but to use “it’s free” as one of its selling points really isn’t accurate for some women.

Flittingaboutagain · 30/01/2022 10:15

I'm lucky enough to have an NHS lactation specialist for free here.

DontWantTheRivalry · 30/01/2022 10:19

I'm lucky enough to have an NHS lactation specialist for free here.

Same here - we have 2 who run free weekly clinics, but tongue tie repairs aren’t free.

Momicrone · 30/01/2022 10:26

Stairway, I come from a poor background, my mum breastfed us all

EmiliaAirheart · 30/01/2022 10:52

@stairway

EmiliaAirheart but delaying going to work to breast feed is middle class privilege, it doesn’t stop breastfeeding being essentially free.
Women of all classes can find themselves in this situation.
TheOrigRights · 30/01/2022 11:16

I did genuinely believe I would feed my baby for free for the first six months because the NHS told me this!

I don't know how long ago this was, but I was curious to see what the NHS currently say.

The very first line on www.nhs.uk/start4life/baby/feeding-your-baby/breastfeeding/ is "Breastfeeding is a skill that takes time to get the hang of."

And the very first line on www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/breastfeeding-and-bottle-feeding/breastfeeding/the-first-few-days/ is In the first few days, you and your baby will be getting to know each other. It may take time for both of you to get the hang of breastfeeding. This happens faster for some women than others. But nearly all women produce enough milk for their baby.

I think this is reasonable.

stairway · 30/01/2022 11:17

EmiliaAirheart women who needed the money would just switch to formula though. Like with all these issues only the middle classes can afford to spend £££ on any issues everyone else would just move to formula if it was too expensive.

threatmatrix · 30/01/2022 11:23

You did absolutely what was best for both of you. Well done for the 7 months you managed.

WTF475878237NC · 30/01/2022 11:42

The very first line on www.nhs.uk/start4life/baby/feeding-your-baby/breastfeeding/ is "Breastfeeding is a skill that takes time to get the hang of."

And the very first line on www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/breastfeeding-and-bottle-feeding/breastfeeding/the-first-few-days/ is In the first few days, you and your baby will be getting to know each other. It may take time for both of you to get the hang of breastfeeding. This happens faster for some women than others. But nearly all women produce enough milk for their baby.

I think this is reasonable.

Me too.

Volhhg · 30/01/2022 12:08

@threatmatrix

Is this real?? Jesus I can’t stop laughing. Spending all that money on something woman have been doing since the start of time.
Yeah this thread is far fetched. We are literally Mammals!!
EmiliaAirheart · 30/01/2022 12:22

There are lots of working class women in the same boat, the cost of childcare is another factor.

RidingMyBike · 30/01/2022 12:43

@TheOrigRights

I did genuinely believe I would feed my baby for free for the first six months because the NHS told me this!

I don't know how long ago this was, but I was curious to see what the NHS currently say.

The very first line on www.nhs.uk/start4life/baby/feeding-your-baby/breastfeeding/ is "Breastfeeding is a skill that takes time to get the hang of."

And the very first line on www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/breastfeeding-and-bottle-feeding/breastfeeding/the-first-few-days/ is In the first few days, you and your baby will be getting to know each other. It may take time for both of you to get the hang of breastfeeding. This happens faster for some women than others. But nearly all women produce enough milk for their baby.

I think this is reasonable.

It was at a Baby Friendly level 3 hospital, the supposed BFing gold standard with loads of support available - every midwife I saw antenatally, including the infant feeding lead/lactation consultant teaching a BFing workshop, said BFing was free, natural, all women could do it, formula unnecessary etc. I had no reason to disbelieve them - they were all saying the same thing.

If you look at drug side effects anything that affects more than 1 in 10 is listed as very common. Yet the existence of extremely common BFing problems, including milk delay (up to 40% of FTMs) and low supply (between 5 and 15%, the figure is uncertain) isn't mentioned at all. Let alone the reasons for these problems so you have a chance to prepare yourself (and save up for the possible costs incurred).

RidingMyBike · 30/01/2022 12:45

How would you interpret nearly all women can produce enough milk?

I'm interested in the perception of this. To me it reads like having low supply is incredibly unusual, like one women in 1000s has low supply instead of the actual prevalence figures for it?

ohdear10 · 30/01/2022 13:06

@RidingMyBike

How would you interpret nearly all women can produce enough milk?

I'm interested in the perception of this. To me it reads like having low supply is incredibly unusual, like one women in 1000s has low supply instead of the actual prevalence figures for it?

NHS wording is always very vague and not great. It could mean nearly all produce straight away (by default) or nearly all can with support (as in its physically possible).

FlyingPandas · 30/01/2022 13:15

I was very lucky and BF all three DC with no real problems other than finding the first few days a bit painful (but some lansinoh cream sorted that out). All three were happy, contented, gained weight well. Never needed a lactation consultant, none had tongue tie, never had to ask advice from anyone. I fed for exactly the length of time I planned to (which was a maximum 7 months with each baby) and then transitioned to formula, which was always what I'd planned. Never had any desire to BF an older baby or toddler and was very happy to move to bottles once each baby got to 7m.

I am aware I'm really, really lucky.

But even needing no help whatsoever I still spent £££ on breastfeeding.

Nursing bras, breast pads, lansinoh cream, breastfeeding tops that were comfy and practical and also made me feel good (could never get on with the 'wear multiple tops, pull one up and the other one down and the just yank your boob out' type advice that people trot out, I found it utterly impossible). I bought a breast pump, bottles, steriliser.

Arguably you could probably get by without the breast pump if you never planned to express, and the BF tops / dresses were my personal choice, but I can't imagine trying to BF a baby without buying at least one nursing bra!

Breastfeeding is not and never has been 'free'.

Somethingsnappy · 30/01/2022 13:18

@mathanxuety. Thank you for the second, more balanced article. I absolutely agree that the diagnosis of tongue tie is on the rise. However, I work with women postnatally, and I disagree that this stems from a monetary aspect (unlike the author of your first article who was using this to sell her own programme).

Firstly, more often than not, the initial opinion or diagnosis (if qualified to do so) comes from either a midwife or BF counsellor, neither of whom are usually able to divide the TT themselves and certainly make no money from it. It will get referred to a LC. Secondly, one half hour appointment for the division of a TT (if done privately) costs usually between £100 and £200 and is a often a one-off payment. Alternatively, it is free on the NHS, but often women prefer to avoid the wait. In contrast to this, if a women pays to see a LC for BF support, the sessions are often more frequent and last longer. LCs charge by the hour usually. It would probably be more in their interest not to divide the TT, vif money was the goal.

I think you really need to understand in detail quite how TTs cause problem in order to appreciate why a women will choose to get a division. I can only go into it very briefly, but... A mild TT for example, may cause the baby no feeding issues in so far as they get plenty of milk and gain weight. However, this can still cause a lot of pain for the mother. In the past, mothers were probably just expected to suck it up or switch to formula. But women are rightly not content with this pain or lack of choice anymore.

Secondly, with a moderate TT, again, babies may be able to extract the milk if they adapt their technique. However, any deviation away from the optimum technique often causes babies to grow very tired very quickly. They fall asleep before having had a full feed, wake up starving and more exhausted, try to feed, again too tired, and with each feed, they lose more energy and become more tired. And so the vicious cycle continues.

With a severe TT, a baby is simply unable to find a technique that works to access the milk and they starve, without intervention. And yes, posterior ties are very real too. A baby cannot raise their tongue (causing a classic U shape instead of a straight line when they cry). This means breast compression by the tongue is more difficult and more tiring, again causing the baby to tire before a feed and to drop weight quickly (if severe enough).

The rise of a diagnosis for TT is, I hope, because women are more aware of their rights and choices to not just 'put up with it'.

And interestingly, there is some evidence to suggest that TTs are on the rise as a result of folic acid prescribed in pregnancy. Although this should never put a women off taking it, and the alternative can be much worse, of course.

Somethingsnappy · 30/01/2022 13:20

Sorry, spelt it wrong, the above was for @mathanxiety

Somethingsnappy · 30/01/2022 13:25

@mathanxiety, the lack of scientific recognition, is not evidence against TT, but rather lack of funding from the government to properly investigate the matter. A lack of scientific recognition is not the same as proof against something. Rather, it needs further research and understanding. When the government prioritise this, is anybody's guess.

csigeek · 30/01/2022 13:37

I think it really depends on your personal experience of breastfeeding.
It can be “free” for some people, but that entirely depends on them not having any issues with latching and feeding, not needing to top up with formula and exclusively feeding with no pumping.
I was one of the very lucky ones who had an extremely easy breastfeeding journey, so it did work out free for me. But I have a lot of friends who struggled immensely and they spent money on things like private tongue tie snipping, lots of different types of bottles and pumping equipment. So yeah it’s not free for everyone and it’s certainly not “easy” or “natural” for most.

Socialcarenope · 30/01/2022 13:46

@csigeek

I think it really depends on your personal experience of breastfeeding. It can be “free” for some people, but that entirely depends on them not having any issues with latching and feeding, not needing to top up with formula and exclusively feeding with no pumping. I was one of the very lucky ones who had an extremely easy breastfeeding journey, so it did work out free for me. But I have a lot of friends who struggled immensely and they spent money on things like private tongue tie snipping, lots of different types of bottles and pumping equipment. So yeah it’s not free for everyone and it’s certainly not “easy” or “natural” for most.
But not just that - I had 0 issues establishing feeding but I needed 6 bras every 4-6 months because I leaked through them or changed size. I needed sleep bras to keep breast pads in place and needed tonnes of breast pads because I had to change the 4 times daily. I leaked through clothes and bedding so the laundry pile was enormous and the cost of all the extra laundry!

And whilst I didn't buy specific breastfeeding clothes, I did have to change my style to accommodate feeding and buy new clothes so I could leave the house!

RidingMyBike · 30/01/2022 13:58

I'd like to see much more acknowledgment by the NHS of what 'nearly all' women can BF means. Actual figures for FTM and subsequent pregnancies. And whether that's EBF or combi (although they'd have to acknowledge that combi exists for reasons other than choice!). I BF for 3.5 years but I never produced more than 50% of the milk my baby needed, and even that didn't even come in until 8 weeks.

Stop all the promotion involving free, convenient, bonding etc. That's too subjective, not evidence-based and not helpful. Provide realistic info with actual figures and pros and cons (making relative and absolute risks clear). Triage women in the postnatal checks for the risk factors for BFing problems, and keep a v v close eye on those women. Provide support to all women however they feed their baby - my experience in a Baby Friendly level 3 area was loads of BFing support but a complete refusal to provide any support or info for formula feeding. Eg despite needing formula for very definite medical reasons (baby readmitted to SCBU) midwives refused to provide info about sterilising bottles because they couldn't be seen to 'promote formula'. That kind of thing is crazy and just leads to poorly babies.