It's an inheritance one, who is right here?

[anotherinheritanceq]

This one is more about what's morally right than legalities iyswim, hence why I'm posting here.

So someone I know has assets over half a million, not sure on figure but I know she owns her big house outright and has money in the bank etc. She has children from previous marriage, and she is engaged to her partner who also has children. He can't work and doesn't have any assets, he's on disability benefits. Obviously when marrying what's hers is his, fair enough.

However they've been talking about things including wills, and basically it's come up that if she were to die first (and naturally he would inherit the whole lot), once he dies he would pass everything including the house onto his children and not a penny for his wife's children. Of course she says that's not fair that her children would get nothing if she happens to die first, all her children grew up in that home etc. He argues that everyone puts their own children first and it'll be the only opportunity of giving anything to his children because of his disability/not being able to work.

Who is being unreasonable? What's the done thing in these situations?

I know she is now on about writing a will to leave something to her kids but obviously she can't leave her partner homeless and penniless!

@Hercisback

She should not marry him!

^This

I think she needs to see a family law solicitor and explain what she wants .

if he is not happy with it then dont marry him .

its not about you money grabbing - its about him and his family inheriting something that he has not contributed to - at all.

personally i dont think he should even inherit everything?

she should put the house in trust for him to live in but when he dies then she should decide where the money goes .

like he said - put HER children first .

The sad thing is, it doesn't matter who is right, she is obviously blinded here and she is going to sell out her children for this guy.

It is to me slightly irrelevant what the "fiance" might want to do with the inheritance or what the "children" might want to do with theirs. What matter are the wishes of your friend. She should speak with a solicitor and reflect what it is she wants to happen once she has passed. Taking care of her husband, her children, her grand children, donate to a favourite charity .... having your affair in order gives peace of mind & saves big fall outs down the line. Why put your family through this when you can plan.

This gave me shivers of the worst kind. She should not he marrying him. Is she sure he isn't just marrying her to give his kids 'the best chance' ?

Kick him out.

In English and Welsh law, the spouse isn't entitled to anything when the other partner dies. If the will says that the kids get it, then the kids get it.

Obviously any joint assets, like anything in a joint bank account (or a house if bought as a joint tenancy) will go to the spouse.

It is advised to leave a spouse a token amount in the will, as it makes it harder to contest.

I am married to the father of my kids. We have our will set up so that who ever does first they can stay in the house but on the second persons death the first persons share goes to the kids. Just incase the 2nd person remarries and something like this happens. Speak to a solicitor as there are loads of options.

His attitude is terrible. She needs to split her will among her husband-to-be (if it gets that far) and her children.

I'm sure others have said this. I'd be encouraging her to do the following:
1 - consider couples counselling - they don't sound at all on same page and this doesn't sound a good grounding to get married IF she still wants to get married then
2 - Family solicitor and a pre-nup to protect her assets - they are taken into consideration by courts - it is based circumstances - if they have a short marriage and no children then he'd be unlikely to be able to claim much of her assets she amassed pre-marriage.
3 - Private client solicitor for will who can explain options in detail. As others have pointed out she could give him right to live in the house whilst he's alive but leave it to children.
Moreover I'd be very concerned about his motives in all of this

I haven't read the whole thread here, but why on Earth would she consider marrying this man knowing his greedy and unscrupulous attitudes towards her children?
Knowing what she does now, it's not financially safe for her to marry him. He could divorce her fairly quickly and lay claim on her assets, including her pension. As he's disabled and unable to work, he could also possibly
claim spousal support from her too!
He's unlikely to be kind or fatherly towards her children during any marriage given that only his kids are important to him.
It's a recipe for disaster for her! He stands to gain hugely.
Drag her to a solicitor if necessary

Also, if she does end up marrying him, she needs to be aware that any will made before the marriage is invalid.
She REALLY needs legal advice before she marries!

If she does marry him, she must do everything she can to outlive him

Your friend is a fool. Why is she not ensuring she protects her assests? She is planning to marry a bloke who doesnt work, isnt bringing anything to the table but has told her if she dies before him all of the inheritance will go to his DC. I mean what else is there to say? She shouldnt marry the man.. Simple as that..

Haven't read the full thread but Can she write a will that says everything she has go to her children but her husband can stay in the house until he dies?
That's what DHs aunts husband did. She stays in the house and when she dies his daughter inherits it.
I think your stuff only goes to your spouse if you don't have a will or obviously if they actually jointly own it. If she owned it before him and he obviously isn't contributing if he's not working then he doesn't have a claim. But she can let him stay and even leave him some money if she wants or set up a trust even so he gets a set amount to live on a month.

She can effectively write a will which allows him to stay in the property for x number of years while it is inherited by the children.

My mother has done this for her Partner. He will have 3 years in the property before he needs to vacate. A friends father did this for him as he was the child living in the home and providing care. He had a year in the house before it could be sold etc.

This happens all the time & I fully expect similar to happen to me (my step-mum will outlive Dad who brought most the wealth to the marriage, & she will fritter the money away on her blood kin if not formally change her will to exclude me). I know it happened to my cousins, their dad died, married to 2nd wife. Other side of my family, My dad's youngest half siblings got all the wealth even before their mother died, which really shafted some of my older cousins on that side who were very skint and would have loved even a small inheritance.

I can't make myself comment on morality... I don't like my own situation and I think my dad is very naive to expect I'll get anything which is what the current joint wills say would happen eventually ... but oh well.

She needs to make a will now. Leave assets in trust for children. Need a solicitor because law on trusts is always changing.
Then see if bloke is so keen to go ahead with marriage.
Get new advice when marrying to take into account new circumstances.
A solicitor now is the best defence.

I feel a bit sorry for the OP mum. She has a partner who is trying to get his hands on her assets and a DC who is scared of losing out on inheritance.
Another scenario to consider. If the OP mum was (hopefully not) was to become ill. Would her DC be 24 hour carers for her or would that fall to the partner/husband as he might become.
If he was the carer he really ought to be acknowledged after her death or if the DC gave her every attention they should be similarly acknowledged.
Not all DC turn out to be considerate when their parents age.

This is the sort of reason why I will never so much as cohabit again never mind marry, my kids have been through enough with an albeit amicable divorce they will get the lot when I go whatever my romantic position

Also warn your friend that marriage negates ay pre-existing wills.

So she needs to have a new will drawn up ready to sign literally the day after the wedding.

My DH and I have recently done our wills and left each of our halves in trust to our children. The surviving partner can stay in the house but the deceased half would be owned by our children, if that makes sense. It's really easy to do. We trust each other but you just never know how things can work out. Just as you describe, my mum's family home ended up going to her stepmother's children after her mum died first then her dad.

With that attitude I’d be rethinking the whole relationship let alone marrying him!

If that's his attitude think she would do well to seriously question why she's with him. Obviously she can do what she wants in that she can leave everything in her will to her own children, but the very fact he thinks like that would put me completely off being with someone full stop let alone marrying them (let alone considering leaving them my assets in my will...).