I don’t think asking mn if something you did / said was racist should be allowed

[Gardensparrows]

They may or may not be genuine but the comments they prompt are awful.

The thread has been taken down but in 2022 I have reported three people for laughing at the word ‘chink’ and it is completely unacceptable.

Fucks sake and tagged the wrong person blush sorry. Meant to address the above to @Againstmachine clearly!

@Gardensparrows i’m not referring to your post, OP. I was responding to @Againstmachine.

No worries!

My Dad, who is actually not of English heritage himself and would be horrified to be thought of as racist frequently uses the term 'let's go for a chnky' when he means let's go for a Chinese takeaway. It's just what he's always called it. I have him an absolute bollocking for saying it in front of my children a few weeks ago. Luckily they didn't hear or if they did they didn't notice*

There was a lot of language in common use in the past which educated people now know is unacceptable. “He’s always said it” is no excuse whatsoever and makes you sound like an apologist.

I'd be ignorant of how wide-spread these feelings still are if it weren't for such threads. It can be a chance to challenge these ideas.

It really shouldn’t take a thread on Mumsnet, which is supposed to be a place of support, for you to learn how ignorant people are. Plenty of places on the internet to find that.

Imagine if every other thread here about women’s issues was flooded with MRA posters making often not so thinly veiled comments deriding women. You’d be happy with that? I mean, it happens from time to time, but not nearly in the numbers it happens when talking about race.

And those threads which are obviously goady MRA threads are taken down quickly, but for some reason posters doing the same with race goady threads are given the benefit of the doubt and left to stand because they are educational, encouraging debate? That’s a pretty shitty double standard.

Yes I'm of Singaporean Chinese heritage - and have been around many adults who've told me that I shouldn't be offended as it's just a "turn of phrase" or a "type of takeaway" Fookwits

It was a phrase our family used to use, I recall when I was a student (about 30 years ago) using it when I was sharing a flat and my flatmate went ballistic on me. I was so embarrassed as I genuinely had no idea. I never used it again. Told my family and they all stopped too. It really should be as simple as that.

My 12 year old daughter was trying to educate a group of her friends that the word s**z was really quite offensive to her (she has cerebral palsy) they told her it was a Scottish word for stupid. They actually believe that.

@Againstmachine

Againstmachine

“I was accused of being racist a few months ago, as I was stood on a tram at the exit and some ladies of a different ethnic group tried to push in front of me, all I said was excuse me.

Its damn easy to be accused of racism these days as you just annoy someone of a different race.”

Not a good example of an anecdote and you’re clearly just being goady.

If that did happen (which is possible), what else happened for them to make you feel that you were being racist towards them?
E.g., Did you screw up your face in disgust and/or say/shout ‘Excuse me’ in an unnecessary way?
Did they aggressively push you out of the way?
Was it purely an accident?/Could they have mistakingly not realised that they had pushed in front of you?
Most reasonable people simply smile and/or say sorry when they accidentally jump a queue.

You’re being goady because you think you can post on a thread about racism spouting shit to prove a point without any additional context.

What exactly is your point? - That one can be easily perceived as racist these days when they have annoyed someone but are not racist?
Has anyone else ever accused you of being racist?

If these ‘ladies from a different ethnic group’ were unreasonable to call you racist, then that is it. They were unreasonable/idiots you roll your eyes and keep it moving.

See how these racism threads suddenly go quiet, except for a few posters. It’s always the way!

@BoredZelda

“It was a phrase our family used to use, I recall when I was a student (about 30 years ago) using it when I was sharing a flat and my flatmate went ballistic on me. I was so embarrassed as I genuinely had no idea. I never used it again. Told my family and they all stopped too. It really should be as simple as that.”

I agree. Exactly; it’s as simple as that!
Continue to use racist terms and you’re continuing to be racist, unless you have SEN or mental health issues that restrict your ability to understand.

That one can be easily perceived as racist these days when they have annoyed someone but are not racist?
Has anyone else ever accused you of being racist?

I agree. Like who claim “you can’t talk about immigration without being accused of being racist.” Actually, I talk about it all the time without being accused of being racist. And if you find yourself facing that accusation often, then you might want to do a little bit of reflection.

‘I agree. Like who claim “you can’t talk about immigration without being accused of being racist.” Actually, I talk about it all the time without being accused of being racist. And if you find yourself facing that accusation often, then you might want to do a little bit of reflection.‘

I agree 100%
I’m Black and I also talk about immigration all the time. Should I not be talking about about immigration because I am not 100% white and both sets of my GP’s came over to the UK from the West Indies during the Windrush years?

My GP were invited by the UK Government at the time, as part of the Commonwealth. Not that that should make a difference to whether one should be accepted as an immigrant or not. We all should know about the Windrush scandal (unless you have been living under a rock/don’t care/are ignorant).

PurpleMauve

‘See how these racism threads suddenly go quiet, except for a few posters. It’s always the way!’

I came back to say “it’s still unsurprisingly quiet, as expected”.

I agree with a lot of points made here but an incident I had recently which I was mortified by I would maybe have discussed on MN to see if it was clear what I meant.

At my work there is a senior role that is performed by four people and they're all consistently late every single day. They're also all of the same ethnic minority. One of my colleagues was particularly late the other day and I made a jokey remark about it being a trait of 'theirs' BUT I meant of the job role!!

‘I agree with a lot of points made here but an incident I had recently which I was mortified by I would maybe have discussed on MN to see if it was clear what I meant.

At my work there is a senior role that is performed by four people and they're all consistently late every single day. They're also all of the same ethnic minority. One of my colleagues was particularly late the other day and I made a jokey remark about it being a trait of 'theirs' BUT I meant of the job role!!’

So, you meant that arriving late to work is a ‘trait’ that ALL people should have when they hold that particular senior job role?

Do you notice any other people who are from other ethnic minority groups arriving late to work?

Why did you feel mortified?

Any other context?

@stuffedcookie

I agree with a lot of points made here but an incident I had recently which I was mortified by I would maybe have discussed on MN to see if it was clear what I meant.

At my work there is a senior role that is performed by four people and they're all consistently late every single day. They're also all of the same ethnic minority. One of my colleagues was particularly late the other day and I made a jokey remark about it being a trait of 'theirs' BUT I meant of the job role!!

What is wrong with you?

@PurpleMauve The whole wide eyed disingenuousness of the workplace racist is a wonder to behold.

She OBVIOUSLY meant people in that role. She didn’t even notice that they were of the same ethnicity. Except, she did. And she certainly didn’t mean it was a trait of that ethnicity. Except, she did. And she had no idea it might be construed in that way or she wouldn’t have said it. Except, she did.

And now she’s MORTIFIED. They’re always ‘mortified’ and ‘beating themselves up’.

@MeSanniesareBrannies

Yep. They’re always ‘mortified’ and ‘beating themselves up’. 🙄

What’s wrong with them? - fear that’s what.

Let them (racists) come on this thread to explain away their completely innocent and misconstrued comments or actions.
Bullshit.

These PP are clearly being goady racists, acting like the ugly trolls that they are, under the cloak of anonymity. They’re unlikely to respond further and will just change their MN usernames to enable them to appear innocent, whilst they continue to roam amongst us.

@stuffedcookie

Are you coming back?
Some of us want to help reinforce how your comment was perfectly reasonable and not in any way shape or form racist. And we are utterly annoyed that you ended up feeling mortified by your comment which was about the tardiness of a group of four of your colleagues in their senior roles.

Awww. I hope those four senior members of staff from the same ethnic minority ethnic group (that differs from your ethnic group) didn’t make you cry 💐

[quote MeSanniesareBrannies]@PurpleMauve The whole wide eyed disingenuousness of the workplace racist is a wonder to behold.

She OBVIOUSLY meant people in that role. She didn’t even notice that they were of the same ethnicity. Except, she did. And she certainly didn’t mean it was a trait of that ethnicity. Except, she did. And she had no idea it might be construed in that way or she wouldn’t have said it. Except, she did.

And now she’s MORTIFIED. They’re always ‘mortified’ and ‘beating themselves up’.[/quote]
But why couldn't she have meant "trait of a team leader" rather than "trait of (a particular ethnic minority)"?

I made the comment to two members of staff and one knew I meant the senior job role and the other thought I meant their ethnicity and remarked on it.

@stuffedcookie

What was their remark?