About this report at work?

[whattodowiththisguy]

I manage this person at work. They have not been on my team very long, moved from a similar team but different skill set (IT).

They are pretty good at their job but wouldnt say outstanding, still learning. They have done well in company so far although still relatively junior.

We had a good relationship (or so I thought!) bit of chat / banter on teams etc. Anyway, they think that they are a high performer and are very ambitious, expecting either a pay rise / promo soon. It's not really going to happen so I have been trying to set expectations which went ok but followed up with a bit of a stupid joke about things not being that bad because he has a good job, will get a good bonus etc. and is very well regarded and good at his job. I don't want to say what the stupid joke was because it would be really outing!

Anyway they really kicked off and said I'd been inappropriate and really pissed them off on such a sensitive topic and I shouldn't be joking about it like we are mates down the pub!

I was a bit set back by being bollocked by one of my reports!! And quite hurt because I really try hard to stick up for my team and listen to their issues.

Do you think I was being unreasonable? Obviously they want a more formal working relationship which is fine I guess?

'About this person who I manage at work'

Really I'm not like that at all I have literally bent over backwards to make this guy happy.

bit like 'well at least you've got a job so stop complaining' which is why it has upset him. But I didn't mean it like that.

But that's exactly what you meant though? That he should be grateful for what he has and shut up for a while?

We might not be able to progress you in current role right now but want to support you in whatever path you take

I'd read this as you're not going to go further in here for the foreseeable so either accept that or find yourself a job elsewhere.

Not the finest communication from a manager, I'd say. Surely you should be setting out a progression path, KPIs and further training if needed, not kill off someone with ambition and say, oh, well, there's nothing I can do for him anyway.

I would not be taking work off him so he can pursue his own progression if it's part of his job role. I've worked with men like this before, they believe they are worth so much more but are very good at passing the dull work onto others (usually female) colleagues so they can just do the exciting stuff.
You obviously need to go back to completely formal with him - explain how and when pay progression will be discussed - his requests passed up to the decision makers.

At the end of the day he's employed to do a hob and if he's really not happy he will need to look elsewhere if it's not feasible to provide what he wants where he is.

He sounds like a pain the arse

@PurplePansy05 we can't do in role promotions and his specific role is our business unit we can't progress any further. It's not my decision it's just the truth. My manager has said to him that we want to keep him in the wider business and will support progression that way, but it can't happen in current team because the role he wants simply isn't there.

It's a bit rubbish but something that pretty much everyone feels, the company we work for probably don't pay market rate and progression is not easy.

I can't just magically do something because this guy is shouting the loudest.

On a side note, there's a chimney sweep near where I live, he's absolutely loaded. Rare trade these days, he charges a fortune!

I think your joke was inappropriate - but I would stop investing so much time in him. It sounds like he's got your wrapped round his finger taking work off him etc etc - tell him to get on with the job he's paid for (in a more corporate way) and support him to pursue other opportunities that he finds himself rather than expecting you to bend over backwards to make it happen for him. This sort of person usually their capability is a lot less than their sense of entitlement and they think it should all land in their lap.

Also, get out of the trap of banter and being matey with him, makes your job as a manager harder.

Haha @2022NameChange I'm sure!

Imo sounds like he was being entitled and a bit out of order tbh...I'd watch your back.

Well, so you did mean that he either accepts his position without room for progression or he needs to find a different job that suits him. And then you've made that rather unfortunate joke about this. This isn't your fault that you work for this sort of a business, but it's hardly good news for him. You'll likely bleed out junior staff before you even blink the way the market is currently going in many sectors, I hope your senior management is aware of this.

@whattodowiththisguy

Ok I said something along the lines of 'come on x, anyone would thing you were a chimney sweep sometimes! You've got a good job, will get a pay rise and bonus. We might not be able to progress you in current role right now but want to support you in whatever path you take'

For context this was 121, I'm taking work off him personally so he can pursue his career goals more, have contacted other people in wider business to see if they have anything he could progress to.. trying quite hard to make him happy but what he wants is near impossible.

But accepted I didn't handle well!

You sound like a disgusting snob. Chimney sweeps make a fortune. It's a useful, skilled job. Some are retired senior firefighters. Don't be such a bigot!
You sound all ego yourself. I feel sorry for your "report" being patronised like that. I bet you got a big power kick out of that, didn't you?

Good advice @Doorhandleghost thank you.

Will strip it right back now. I've recently been promoted myself and think I need to readjust my management style accordingly. Makes me a bit sad though that I have to do that.

That's not what it was like at all @Kelly7889 have you read what I've said?

@PurplePansy05 yeah I know it sucks. Yes we have very high attrition.

I think you need to toughen up a bit. It's not your job to pacify him at work. Stop with the banter too. You sound a bit of a people pleaser. Just be factual and professional. The interview sounds like it was very awkward and badly handled. Do you have someone you could practice with?

I think it is a brave thing for a manager to tell their, erm, report (is 'subordinate' worse?) there is no career progression in their role because that is telling the truth and the next thing, is the manager might get a resignation. A manipulative manager would dangle the carrot of a promotion for as long as possible to milk the employee and still say no at the end of the day.

I do think that sort of conversation should be part of a formal review. As an employee I won't bring it up to my manager except in a more formal context like that. If this bloke kept pestering and hinting to the OP in the the pub and other informal settings, this could be the unfortunate result which has left both parties stung and hurt.

OP, I think just take it on the chin. He was using you in a way, to get reduced duties, and expecting your support for a promotion. So re-draw the boundaries and keep it formal and give him back his duties.

Personally I would not want to be pub mates with anyone who reports to me, especially if I am managing a team and need to be and seen to be impartial. But I am formal and private like that.

Yes I agree, thank you @blueshoes

And just for the record it's not saying there is no progression ever! But not in 3 months time. To progress the role we would have to increase to profile of that part pf the team by doing x,y,z. It's just not right now.

i think what you said was ok - he needs to get over himself - he's new and wants a promotion without evidence he is capable

I think with some people you jar Jane to keep it factual, you should assume this is the case with all people that report to you unless you’re 100% sure they have a sense of humour. Even more so with someone with a ‘bit of an ego,’

That aside, the majority of the reason we work is to be paid. We often correlate our identity and worth to our job and therefore our pay. A joke about this, even when you think they’re unreasonable, or have inflated expectations, is a potential hit to that person’s self worth, they’ll feel as though you’re belittling them specifically.

Anyway, lesson learnt. Also, maybe his mum or dad does that job you referred to

*have to keep it factual 🤷‍♀️

Well my dad was a milk man do I'm definitely not coming at it from a snobby point of view!

I’d document future conversations with him too.

Please don’t refer to people as reports. You sound very condescending. I hope he complains to HR about you.

Yeah my predecessor always kept himself very much away from the team where as I'm much more in the thick of it, picking up work and the chat etc. I thought that was good but maybe not.

I'll discuss with my manager how to get the right level. Sure I'll learn!